Don’t Play The Pushover: 14 Signs You Let Men Walk All Over You

December 4, 2012  |  
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You just like to think of yourself as agreeable, pleasant, sweet, diplomatic and patient. But, sweetest of sweethearts, if your relationship is nowhere near what you want it to be, you might just be a pushover. And there’s nothing pleasant about that. Here are signs you let men walk all over you.

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You don’t know if he’s your boyfriend

You’ve been carrying on something-like-a-relationship with a man for months, and yet you don’t know what you are. Neither of you use the term “boyfriend” or “girlfriend,” though, you’d like to. You’re not 100% certain he’s being exclusive with you, though, you’d like him to be. A strong, assertive woman doesn’t allow that situation to go on for long! She says, “Listen; either we are in a relationship, or we’re nothing. And I need to know so I can either commit or move on with my life.” But pushovers don’t value their own time enough to say that.

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You do his chores

He’s tired, or busy, or stressed, so you do his chores around the house. Huh, look at that—you’ve done his chores for the last two months. Duh! Because there is always an excuse for him not to do them. Don’t you get tired, busy and stressed on a regular basis, too? Of course you do. But you don’t make excuses. You suck it up and clean that bathroom. But, for some reason you let your man make excuses. Again, a pushover doesn’t value her own time. She thinks her man’s excuses are more valid than her own. But that is so not true.

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The guys are always at your house

Boy’s night is always at your house, for which you end up cooking, cleaning, and disappearing so the guys can have the house to themselves. Want to know why boy’s night is not happening at the other homes? Because the other girlfriends and wives aren’t pushovers!

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You often say, “That’s just how he is”

Nobody is perfect and you’ll have to make a few allowances with anyone you date. But if you regularly hear the words, “That’s just how he is” coming out of your mouth, that’s because your guy is regularly doing something that bothers you. And you won’t confront him about it.

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You haven’t been on a date in a while

Your nights with your man are spent eating takeout and watching TV. That’s fine, but he hasn’t planned a nice, special, just-for-you date in months. Want to know why? Because you’ve given him the idea he doesn’t have to. Why should he put in any effort when you’ve shown you’ll still be totally attentive, loving and devoted to him when he puts in zero effort?

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You like to avoid conflict

If the words, “I like to avoid conflict” are true to your character, odds are you are a pushover. Look, a healthy person doesn’t like conflict, seeking it out at every corner. However, they also don’t avoid it when that conflict could be the bridge that brings them more happiness. If you’re avoiding conflict at all costs, one of those costs is your own satisfaction in your relationship.

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You have a long list of things you’d like to do

Movies you’d like to see, restaurants you’d like to eat at, friends you want to get drinks with. It is a long list. And it started growing a long time ago. That’s probably because you always go to the restaurant he wants to go to, or see the movie he wants to see.

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You’re always with his friends

Each partner would naturally rather be with his or her own friends. But that shouldn’t let your partner off the hook of sacrificing a few boy’s nights to attend your girl’s nights. If you’re hanging with your guy’s guys all the time, it’s probably because he won’t bend at all in his social calendar. And if you want to see him, you just have to follow him.

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You say “sorry” a lot

Does that word come out of your mouth a dozen or more times a day? Well, SORRY, but you’re probably a pushover. You probably apologize whether you did something wrong or not, just to appease your guy. You’d rather have him be happy with you, than stand your ground.

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You’ve given up big things for guys

Passed up on a job because he thought it would take up too much of your time, passed up on an apartment because it was further across town than he wanted to drive to see you, even passed up on friends because he didn’t like them. You shouldn’t be passing up on big things that genuinely make you happy for anybody! A guy that wanted you to be happy would never allow you to give those things up.

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He doesn’t know your friends or family

He always has an excuse not to meet them, and you don’t argue with him. But again, there always will be an excuse if he looks for one. A strong, assertive woman says, “Nuh uh, sorry but my friends and family are a part of me. If you’re going to have me in your life, you need to let them in your life too. We come as a package. Take it or leave it.”

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Your friends have to stand up for you

Your friends should not be getting into screaming matches, or even matches of sarcastic, snarling comments with your guy, in your defense. And trust me: they don’t want to. If they have done so, it’s because they felt they had to because you wouldn’t do it for yourself.

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You regularly feel jealous

Your partner should not be making you feel jealous on a regular basis. But, if you didn’t say something the first time, he didn’t know to amend his behavior. More importantly, if a man is going so far as to flirt with other women, it’s because he knows you won’t do or say anything about it.

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