The New Girl Code: What It Means To Be A Good Wing Woman

November 30, 2012  |  
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Whether you’re in a relationship, or just not into dating right now, odds are your single girlfriends are still into dating. And when you go out with them, you should help to create an inviting, fun environment for guys to come in and chat up your friends. That’s part of the girl code: you put in the effort to keep energy and hopes high for the single girls in the group, no matter where your head and heart are. It doesn’t matter if you have a man waiting at home, or even if you sort of hate men right now. If you wanted to be a downer, you should have stayed home. But you’re out now! So follow the following codes:


You do the ice breaking

If you’re not the one trying to make an impression, you’ve got nothing to lose! So be the one that approaches the group of guys first and says something—anything—to break the ice and make things easier for your single girlfriend to swoop in.

Dial back the charm

If you’re usually the one standing in the middle of the group, telling stories, making people laugh, ordering rounds of shots, too bad. Tonight, you’re not meant to be the center of attention. It’s annoying to have a friend that always wants to be the star of the show, so let your single girlfriend have the spotlight tonight.

Talk up your friend

Tell the guy your friend is into all about her accomplishments, cute stories about her, heroic, impressive and commendable things she has done. That way, he gets to learn everything great about her, while thinking she’s the most humble person on earth. It doesn’t hurt to tell stories of times other guys hit on your friend, to reinforce that she is desirable.


Be nice!

It used to be said that you should be a bit of a b***h so that your friend looks like the sweet one, but do you want to know one of the top reasons a guy will walk away instead of invite a girl along when his friends are nagging him to move onto the next bar? “Ah forget it, her friend’s too difficult.” If you’re mean mugging and hogging your friend, a guy might be too intimidated to step up and say anything. You need to be somebody the guy would want to introduce to his friends, so the groups can conjoin and have a good time!

Talk to his friends

So the guy your friend is interested in doesn’t feel guilty that his friends are standing around, not entertained while he flirts, so don’t be afraid to get to know his buddies. Then the guy talking to your friend feels more relaxed and doesn’t feel that he’s under a time crunch to either impress or ditch your friend because he has to attend to the fellas.

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You get the dirt

Is he taken or not? There are too many guys that withhold this information, sometimes all night, while talking to a cute girl. They like the attention, so why would they reveal if they’re taken? Lucky for your girlfriend, you’re going to save her time and find out from her buddies if her love interest is available or not. This may even require doing some extra drinking with them to loosen their tongues.

Don’t let your friend talk herself down

Don’t let her start reminiscing about exes, or guys that mistreated her. The last thing she needs is memories that deflate her ego right now. Distract her from her past, and boost her ego!


Don’t say you’re taken

Out of loyalty to his friends, a guy doesn’t want to bring back one single girl for himself, and a taken one that’s just dead weight! You certainly won’t cheat or do anything inappropriate with his buddies, but for most men to even want to chat with you for an hour, they need to believe they have some chance with you.

Be up for a little bit of  anything

Don’t be that lame girlfriend who, now that she is a girlfriend, wants to go home by midnight. If you want to bail, that leaves your friend in a position where she either has to ditch the guy she is into as well, or stay, making it completely obvious she is just staying for him. And you don’t want to force your friend to lay all her cards out like that, do you? Toss back a Red Bull and commit to being out for the night!


If you have to, deter

If the guy your friend is interested in is clearly interested in you, then you drop the bomb that you are taken. If you’re not taken, you may have to find another guy to go flirt with. Also, if you see the guy she’s interested in acting crazy or being disrespectful to your friend, don’t be afraid to step in and set folks straight. Whatever you do, it’s time to stop being so friendly.


Don’t let your friend get too drunk

When she’s having a good time, your friend may not think about the endless drinks she’s ordering, or accepting. But if she gets too drunk, she may ruin her chances with the guy! Especially if she’s the type to start talking about exes and crying while hammered…



Know the code

Have some sort of code that indicates when your friend wants to remain where she is talking to this guy, or when she wants to ditch him, when she wants you to leave her alone with the guy, or when she wants you there to keep doing some ice breaking, when she wants to go home with the guy, or when she wants you to make an excuse for her to go with you.

Prevent competition

If another girl is honing in on the guy your friend likes, you chat that girl up as much as possible! You drag her into the conversation with the other guys. You become her BFF for the night, even buying her a drink. But keep her away from that guy!


You utilize text

Sometimes the best thing a wingwoman can do is disappear. Maybe your friend is already making out with the guy, and you want to get going, or perhaps she’s just deep in conversation with him. Again, don’t put her in the position of having to clearly decide to stay there alone with the guy, or go with you. That puts too much pressure on her. If you want to go home or go to another bar, don’t be ashamed to slip away and send a, “Didn’t want to interrupt you but I went home” text. You’re even doing her a favor then, because her and the guy are left alone to get to know each other better.


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