Finding Good Love Is Hard For Halle–And Everybody Else: Why The Grass Isn’t Always Prettier On The Other Side

November 28, 2012  |  

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This whole Halle Berry, Gabriel Aubry and Olivier Martinez triangle is the stuff of daytime soap operas, Tyler Perry scripts and late night Nollywood films (yes, Nollywood, not Hollywood, I’m a HUGE fan). I’ve been popping popcorn for two days now. But it also confirms something I have suspected for a long time: the grass ain’t always greener on the other side.

Halle Berry has managed to obliterate everything some of us want to believe about modern dating, particularly black women and dating. No, despite ever growing popular opinion, going white isn’t always right, and can end just as bad as (if not worse) a relationship with a black, brown, green or purple man. And no, dating a younger man doesn’t guarantee easier relations either. Oh yeah, and being pretty doesn’t shield you from ugly drama either.

I mean, this is Halle Berry we are talking about. Halle. Berry. She is, by all generalizations, the ideal standard of beauty.  Matter of fact, in 2003, she was named Most Beautiful Woman in the World by People, which is a huge feat for any woman, let alone a woman of color. There are not too many men – and some women too – in this world, who would say they would kick Halle Berry out of bed. But even despite her international allure, she stays in more relationship drama than a little bit.

David Justice? Wesley Snipes? Eric Benet? Gabriel Aubry? Seriously, if Halle Berry can’t get her love life straight, what hope is there for the rest of us? It just shouldn’t be this hard out here for a beautiful pimp.

There’s a lot of research, as well as general belief, which suggests that good-looking people enjoy many perks in life, chief among them is having no difficulty attracting potential partners. However, beauty can be a double-edged sword and what works at attracting a partner can also work at keeping them away too.  Take for instance the alpha man, motivated by his own ego, who sees a beautiful woman as just a sexual conquest or a trophy as opposed to a long term relationship. On the flip side of that is the gentle beta man, who while motivated by the heart and emotional intimacy, may feel too intimidated by a beautiful woman to act upon his feelings.

Certainly, many beautiful women have found their soul mates, however being beautiful is not a guarantee that love and happiness will be mutually exclusive. As the old saying goes, which has floated from the lips of many men I’ve met over the years; show me a beautiful woman and I’ll show you someone who is sick of tapping that. And just like the rest of us average looking plain Johns and Janes, beautiful people have to work at relationships too. And they also make really bad choices in mates as well.

Judging by the severity of Aubry’s face, I think Martinez might have some anger management issues. I’ve actually seen people, who stole something from someone, not have their faces jacked up the way Aubry’s is thanks to Halle’s new man. Probably the biggest saving grace for the beautiful is that if one relationship fails, there are never short of other potential partners to take his or her place. And one thing I can say about Berry is that despite the drama, and what they might say about her when news stories like the Thanksgiving Berry brawl surface, there is no shortage of men willing to roll around in the trenches for her affection. So she will be all right.

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