A Chip On My Shoulder: How I Realized I Was Taking The Alicia Keys-Mashonda Beef Way Too Personally

63 comments
November 24, 2012 ‐ By Jazmine Denise Rogers

Source: WENN

I had never been much of a Mashonda fan. It’s not that I didn’t feel she was talented, I just had never heard enough of her music to consider myself a fan. Oh, but Alicia Keys – loved her! There wasn’t a single one of her albums that I hadn’t purchased. Her heartfelt and relatable tunes had gotten me through more than a few tough times. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a die hard fan, but I dug her music and had a lot of respect for her craft. She was, and still is, undeniably talented and that is something that no one could ever take away from her.

I was a bit of a Johnny-come-lately when it came to news of Alicia and Swizz’s alleged affair that was going on while he was still married to his now ex-wife, Mashonda. I didn’t hear about the story when it was hot off the press. I actually didn’t learn of it until Mashonda put out her open letter and that is when I began to back track, reading  headline after headline on different blogs and news sites, which  provided me with the backstory as to what was going on. When I finally got a grasp on the story and somewhat of an understanding of the love triangle (I say somewhat because from the outside looking in, no one could ever fully know everything that went on) I was absolutely turned off  from Alicia and  in some odd way, even felt betrayed on some level. I couldn’t understand how someone who sang about and signified strength and womanhood could ever bring herself to violate another woman in the manner that she violated Mashonda. I’ll be the first person to say that Swizz Beatz should bear most of the blame for his affair with Alicia as he is the one who made vowed to love, honor and be faithful to this woman. However, I believe it also takes two to tango and a woman who knowingly participates in a situation such as that should bear some responsibility as well. But, I’ll move on since that isn’t the purpose of this essay.

As I stated earlier, I was completely turned off to Alicia. I viewed her in an entirely different light and just couldn’t bring myself to believe in any of that “Superwoman” or “Woman’s Worth” stuff she was selling anymore. It wasn’t something I did intentionally, but as I heard Mashonda share her story and could hear the pain in her voice, I felt I could relate to her and just couldn’t bring myself to listen to Alicia anymore and she’s released some pretty amazing music since then.

One night after seeing Alicia perform on television at some awards show, a friend who was and still is a big Alicia fan and I somehow began discussing the Mashonda-Alicia-Swizz love triangle. As I shared my opinion on the situation and she shared hers, what was meant to be a simple and entertaining discussion about celebrity news turned into a heated argument; an argument that made me realize I was taking this situation entirely too personally.

And that is when it hit me, my attachment to that situation had nothing to do with Mashonda, Swizz Beatz or Alicia Keys  and everything to do with my own involvement in a love triangle and betrayal similar to this one. Thankfully, marriage and children were not involved, but I knew what it felt like to be in a relationship where you believed everything was on the up-and-up only, to turn around and learn that there is another woman. Not just anyother woman, but one who was clearly aware of you and your relationship.

I had a major chip on my shoulder and Alicia and Mashonda were mere representations of unhealed wounds from unresolved issues in my own life. My beef wasn’t just with Alicia, but every woman who has ever assumed the side-chick role. Thankfully, I’ve done much soul searching and healing since coming to the realization and I’m very thankful that I did.

Getting past a romantic betrayal such as the one Mashonda experienced can be extremely rough, but the good news is that there is a light at the end of the tunnel if you allow there to be one. Making a conscious decision to not be consumed or defeated is the first step. The mental battle of choosing not to dwell on thoughts of what happened to you  or falling into the victim role was the toughest, but absolutely necessary. The mental freedom and peace of mind attained as a result is well worth the battle.

Jazmine Denise is a writer living in New York. Follow her on Twitter @jazminedenise

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  • Hope Karma comes around

    W/E purposely withdrew my fanship when the news broke and I still do! And yes, it is totally personal.

  • realadulttalk

    I am a firm believer in karma. No one knows what really happened…I do know this…how you get him is how you lose him. So, if Alicia was in the wrong, expect her to be in Mashonda’s shoes in the future.

  • Ashley

    I lost respect for Alicia bcuz I’m married and I just hate women like her

  • http://twitter.com/confidentlyinC confidentlyinChrist

    Where is the LIKE button when u need one?!! :) great read & I can relate to Mashonda as well.

  • IllyPhilly

    There are some whole novels for comments on here. LMAO.

  • AshleyT

    I was cheated on while in a seemingly solid marriage. The other woman knew exactly who I was and what she was doing. I also take an emotional interest in the AK/Mashonda drama. Glad I’m not the only one who looks at Alicia differently now.

  • FromUR2UB

    I’m not involved in their lives because I don’t know any of them personally, and they don’t know me at all. But, I still have opinions based upon what I’ve heard. I think AK was wrong and that her fate will be similar to Mashonda’s…not because of Karma or reaping what one sows, because sometimes people reap better than they’ve sown, but because I think it’s just the character of SB to cheat. When AK makes announcements about how gloriously happy she is with him, I don’t fully believe her. I thinks she’s happy on some level because she’s with the man she wanted, but I don’t believe it’s the kind of happiness that comes from someone treating you right. I’ve lived long enough to have no expectations that celebrities, or people in general, live pristine lives, because all people have their own frailties. AK is an entertainer, and my like or dislike of her craft would not be influenced by an incident like this. As long someone is not spewing hateful rhetoric or violating children, I can separate their private activities from their contributions to the world.

  • Guest

    When society makes excuses and statements that imply it’s not anyone’s business and just accept and move on, they give acceptance to behavior that once was unacceptable. It’s a society’s collective morality that make things acceptable or unacceptable. Having an affair with someone else’s husband is and always will be unacceptable behavior. Alicia as well as those who support her behavior should be on the lookout for the karma coming their way. The laws of the universe don’t change because human behavior wants it to!!!!

    • Elisha

      Honey EVERYONE OF US have some sort of Karma coming, so cut it out, people are simply saying that others are commenting on things that they know NOTHING about, it is a personal situation between the 3 people involved. One person and one person only was speaking the whole time and that was the person who felt they were a victim, you cannot just up and judge someone on a situation that you don’t know about, the laws of the universe covers all actions, thoughts, words and deeds lets not forget that.

      • Guest

        The fact remains that he was still someone else’s husband. Whatever else is said doesn’t change that.

  • Meyaka

    Also when a woman knowingly stays with a man who disrespect her constantly, she loses the right to complain about a damn thing,Swiss had so many kids on her and slept around a whole lot,but you want to be mad NOW? Because he divorced you? Get over your stupid self,I hate weak women and Mashona is a marshmallow.

  • Meyaka

    I always think that people who are overtly eager to defend a celebrity or chose “team” in celebrity beefs,must have a very monotone life and live vicariously trough celebrities. I have my opinion on a subject but I really don’t see myself getting angry or annoyed at someone disagreeing with me, much less getting emotional about a situation that doesnt concern me. I’m glad you have decided to check yourself and stop acting like a wounded puppy,those individuals in your past will keep having power over you if you don’t let go.

  • serenity1125

    I hope karma doesn’t bite Mrs. Beats on the BUTT.

  • Loryn

    Who knows what the true status of his marriage wife was besides the two of them? Alicia can only repeat what she was told by Swizz. A liar and a cheat is just that…a liar and a cheat. So he lied to Mashonda but was upfront with Alicia?? Seriously??? Please. I think bottom line..if she had waited til his divorce was final, maybe the backlash would not have been so harsh. HE is at the center of all of this mess and yet HE rarely, if ever, talks about it. Forget what the two delusional females have to say, what does the liar/cheat say really happened???

  • Why mashonda…why?

    Funny thing is after swizz had the baby with the other woman mashonda was still fighting for her marriage..maybe mashonda needs to realize her worth..should of left him the tenth time he cheated!!

  • misskaywill

    My problem with this whole situation is the grief Fantasia got. Im sure Swiss played both of them. But Alicia should have known that until the papers are signd there is no guarantee the relationship is over. I have seen firsthand what an affair does to the woman and to the kid. The other woman is often not completely clueless they only choose to see and believe what they want.

    Back to Fanny. She got exploited and tormented for falling in love with a married man. People didn’t have a positive thing to say about her and many still don’t. How can it be ok for keys and not fanny. If Fantasia’s relationship wasn’t exposed on television I would have been skeptical.

    “If he did it to her then he will do it to you”… No one is safe.

    • Ay

      Tasia got sued in a civil court, had an abortion for the guy, AND attempted suicide over the guy. She also brought him on her reality show *blank stare*

      All this caused the extra flack for her……………………..

      • Herm Cain

        Lol she left all that out

    • Nina

      Two totally different situations, that man and his wife WERE still living together and there was NO talk of divorce, no separation was in effect, not to mention the drama that ocurred with the abortion, suicide attempt, etc. Plus she was talking and the wife sued her, it was a whole different story honey. Fantasia put her business out there. The only person who ever had any discussion about the Alicia/Swizz situation was Mashonda, so you had one person fighting with herself, talking by herself and NO ONE other than those 3 know the true story and even they don’t probably know the true story since he could have been saying different things to each party. Mashonda was out their on her own airing her dirty laundry. Swizz was mum other than emphatically stating that they were not together when he got with Alicia, and Alicia never said a word, she never even acknowledged her and Mashonda said as much, which probably boiled her up even more, nothing worst than being ignored and fighting with yourslef. Alicia finally spoke one time in essence about a year ago and recently in jet and both times it was the same one sentence reply. Big difference from Fantasia situation.

  • Natasha T

    I believe Mashonda is playing the victim and wants sympathy (and attention) from us, not gonna happen with me sweetie! If Toucan Sam left you to be with Alicia Keys, then move on and stop being the bitter ex, you’re not winning here! She and D-Wade’s ex need to share the same seat and stay sitting in it!

    • SheBe

      Nnnoooooooooooooo!!!! Not Toucan Sam!?!?! LMAO!

  • ANTMilf

    All I will have to say is that I will still support Alicia Keys as an artist and have been supporting her for 11 years but her, Swizz and what’s her face’s personal life should be THEIR BUSINESS, not ours! If your life su ck that bad that you become focusing on other people’s lives, you need a hug, SMH!

    • Trisha_B

      Agree! Alicia’s talent, charity work, etc has nothing to do w/ her personal life. A lot of people who go on Alicia bashing train have ruined relationships themselves. Instead of worrying about celebs relationships, that don’t personally affect you, worry about what’s going on at home & your man. If all the energy that was being put into celeb relationships were being put into personal relationships, we would have a lot less baby mama baby daddy drama, broken homes & divorces. But yet these same people love lauryn hill (who slept w/ 2 married men) & Kanye West (whose dating a women who is still married) hmph

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Malaika-Angel/100000835938433 Malaika Angel

    What I don’t get is why some of us become entangled with the lives of these strangers. Is it that our lives aren’t fulfilled enough to engage in REAL LIFE vs. the lives of celebrities. I love blogging and reading interesting stories about certain celebs, but I don’t get caught up so deeply in their lives to where it affects mine. It takes too much energy to be so involved when we don’t even know them or their situation. We only know what we read or hear.

  • Let it Go

    I have always been a fan of Alicia and will continue to be a fan because it is her music that made me a fan….not who she married and how she got her husband. It is not up to me to judge her or cast any assumptions about what happened. Although, it is highly rumored that he was separated from his wife at the time; I was not there but truth be told a lot of relationships begin while another is ending. At the end of the day, she doesn’t need respect from any of us…you either like and buy her music or keep it moving. If we purchased or supported an artist based on the decisions they made in their personal lives….we probably would not respect a lot of them and we would not have anything to listen too…that includes gospel.

  • Negress

    Now if the Jennifer Anniston vs. Angelina Jolie crowd could get the memo…

  • Michelle

    So what do you have to say about Mashonda who married a man AFTER he
    cheated on her and got another woman pregnant while she was pregnant and
    she lost her child, and STILL married him, you are standing up for her
    based on her portraying herself as a victim, but she went into that
    marriage eyes wide open, she had the opportunity to walk away with her
    self respect, because he showed her who he was and she chose to ignore
    it, when will women take reponsibility for their bad choices in men? Your children get their influence from you, they should not be
    getting it from celebs. There is a song on Alicia’s new album called
    101 that says it all about her relationship with Swizz Beatz, she
    basically said that she went in EYES WIDE OPEN and I doubt we will ever
    see her play the victim if that relationship goes south. You speak of
    responsibility, we are responsible for not selling ourselves short as
    women, when men show us who they are up front and we choose to turn our
    eyes to it, until Mashonda takes responsibility for her actions she will
    never have peace, and I say the same to Alicia as far as her
    relationship,but she clearly states that she walked in knowing the
    possibilities, he clearly hasn’t given her a reason to date, so what may
    be bad for one person may be a totally different situation for
    another. Alicia’s music is quality and always have been, and this new
    album is her BEST work yet, and the critics have acknowledged that, it’s called growth, no artist should be the same after 10 years. JS

    • Michelle

      This message is actually in response to celeste below.

  • PrincessPatterson

    When an artist through their creative work and interviews says they stand for integrity and embrace being a role model (young people looking up to them with/without parents or other parent figures). We should hold them accountable when they do not live up to what THEY portray themselves to be. That being said, if your private and public personas are worlds a part then communicate that. We the public have always believed that a persons public life, (which is all we know unless they are videotaped/photgraped and getting into messy situations) is their private life and therefore we believe that we can have an opinion in how they live. I would have loved for Alicia to say to Swiss “Look, you are married, I respect the unity of marriage, I would like for you to go back to your wife workout your situation or finish the marriage. If it’s the later and I am still available at that time then we can give us a go.” Is this possible? Yes, I have a friend who met a guy and he told her that he was separated for a few years but neither had filed for a divorce…she said go handle that and then call me. He did 6-months later, they are now married with children. The author posed a wonderful question so I asked myself the samething. Why have I reacted so strongly to Alicia Key’s triangle? Well, I was 12-year old when this same situation happened to my parents. My dad left and yes my parents later reconciled. However, as a child and a female you never forget that time period. As a woman I would never want to experience what my mom, siblings and I went through. I was able to communicate to my dad, as an adult, how that time period shaped me because it did affect my relationship with males. Maybe the marriage between Swiss and his then wife was over BUT Alicia’s involvement tainted the process. Everyone makes mistakes but even Alicia is in denial. How can you claim separation as the end to a marriage…no…in the eyes of the LAW a divorce is the end of a marriage so I don’t care how many ways Alicia split hairs or say tomato…the man was married. Concluding with a tried and true statement “How you get them is how you will loose them.”

    • Nikki

      Well clearly he felt that the marriage was over and he was separated because he went out and had a kid by another woman, prior to even getting with Ms. Keys. I don’t see how Alicia is in denial, she said they were separated and they were, he had moved on and had a kid with someone else. So if your statement in the end is correct then Mashonda must have gotten him by way of being the other woman, and clearly you still have personal issues with what happened in your childhood, you may want to deal with those. If we follow your way, we would pretty much not be able to support any musician or celebrity, if we were to base it on their personal and public persona. We try to hold these people to standards that we don’t hold ourselves or own family members too.

    • Ay

      One thing I will agree with you on is that Alicia is in denial, about Swizz and her image.

      • Nina

        The only image issue Alicia has is with black folks on blogs, half of the civilized world has no clue about this foolishness and the mainstream media NEVER touched it, because they knew it was bullsh*t. Alicia is a media darling, she is loved by the mainstream, by the President and First Lady and by many, if you notice, Alicia is not like most artist that run around on the blogs begging for album sales, her promotional stuff is top notch and it reaches a wider, diverse more mature audience, those people are not on the urban blogs or reading the rag mags, she was on Katie, Person to Person, talk radio, etc. a different type of people, her image is just fine. Look on twitter and see what the WHITE follks are saying about her and her album they love her, the only people you see talking about this crap is black folks, even when she did nightline, the host said your relationship started out a bit rocky because your husband and his ex were SEPERATED but everything is going great now. They emphasized separated and they did not dramatize it or delve into it. Her Image is Great, the media loves her, the Philanthropic community loves her and her peers love her. The so called image problem lives on the urban blogs and with a select few black folks.

        • Ay

          Well considering black people were Alicia’s first fans I would think she would want to be liked by “us”……….silly me for thinking that.

    • Quiteright

      “Look, you are married, I respect the unity of marriage, I would like for you to go back to your wife workout your situation or finish the marriage. If it’s the later and I am still available at that time then we can give us a go.” – Is this possible? ”

      Yes, again. My sister did the same thing. An old boyfriend of hers was having trouble in his marriage (separated) and wanted to get back with my sister. My sister said no; she told him to resolve his relationship with his wife first then come back. He did just that. He divorced his wife, and he and my sister have now been married for 12 years. Women need to have standards – separated is not divorced. And sometimes a difficult patch in a marriage does not mean the couple can’t overcome and reconcile; however, you put a beautiful, rich woman in the middle of that, and the chances of reconciliation are slim to none.

  • Ay

    Plus a lot of these people saying they can never support her again were NEVER FANS ANYWAYS. They haven’t bought an album of hers since since 2004 so there opinions are irrelevant as of 2012.

  • Ay

    As a fan, I have to admit it changed my opinion of her. Like till this day she still won’t fully speak about it. But black people as a whole took this WAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY too seriously. I can’t call what it is. Most people just needed a reason to not like Alicia. I personally think it’s stemmed in jealousy……..

  • jlk1227

    people really need to stop it Alicia is here to make music and entertain…you say you lost respect but you don’t know the truth about their personal lives to even say that…no one knows the truth but them…it amazes me how people take these type of stories about celebrities and think they know so much but don’t know sh**…she is a great artist and i support her for the good music she makes which is her damn job not b/c of her personal life

  • U heard it!

    This article doesnt change the fact that A. Keys built her brand around an idea of womenhood and family that she obviously doesnt practice. Ofcourse shes human. That doesnt make the situation justifiable. And to say its fine bc mashonda and swiss were on the rocks??( bet its not cool if its ur husbad and family) Nobodys taking it personal over hear. Facts are just fact

    • Celeste

      Amen! She is an advocate for HIV/AIDS sleeping with and then getting pregnant from a “Married Man” Just tell me when do we start to ? and put responsibility on these celebs when they want to be up in our daughters face talking about womanhood, sisterhood and empowerment. Mashonda is that sister we are standing up for because of women like Alicia Keys who use their influence and power to do whatever they want to do and think that there should be no backlash. She thought Mashonda should laid down and let her run all over her. NO! Ms Keys dont get no play here. P.S. her music as of lately has been nothing but screaming and hollering anyway.

      • U heard it!

        Agreed

      • Michelle

        So what do you have to say about Mashonda who married a man AFTER he
        cheated on her and got another woman pregnant while she was pregnant and
        she lost her child, and STILL married him, you are standing up for her
        based on her portraying herself as a victim, but she went into that
        marriage eyes wide open, she had the opportunity to walk away with her
        self respect, because he showed her who he was and she chose to ignore
        it,
        when will women take reponsibility for their bad choices in men? Your
        children get their influence from you, they should not be
        getting it from celebs. There is a song on Alicia’s new album called
        101 that says it all about her relationship with Swizz Beatz, she
        basically said that she went in EYES WIDE OPEN and I doubt we will ever
        see her play the victim if that relationship goes south. You speak of
        responsibility, we are responsible for not selling ourselves short as
        women, when men show us who they are up front and we choose to turn our
        eyes to it, until Mashonda takes responsibility for her actions she will
        never have peace, and I say the same to Alicia as far as her
        relationship,but she clearly states that she walked in knowing the
        possibilities, he clearly hasn’t given her a reason to date, so what may
        be bad for one person may be a totally different situation for
        another. Alicia’s music is quality and always have been, and this new
        album
        is her BEST work yet, and the critics have acknowledged that, it’s
        called growth, no artist should be the same after 10 years. JS

        • celeste

          You did not respond to one thing I said. You refuse to hold Alicia Keys, a woman who has put herself in the forefront for women responsible for anything. All you can come back with is what she is saying in a song and some critics reviews. Have several seats!

          • Michelle

            It is not my responsibility to hold her responsible. I AM NOT GOD!!!!! if you notice I said these people had to take responsibility for their own actions but they don’t need to take them with me, they need to take responsibility within their group and move on. Who the heck am I to hold her responsible? that is not my job it belongs to 1 person and 1 person only, that is where you folks miss the mark, you are on her trying to hold people responsible, hold yourself responsible for your life and that is the only person that you can HOLD responsible for anything, everyone else have to hold themselves responsible and in the end the only person that matters will hold us all responsible. I speak on Mashonda because she is the one passing blame, she is the one that made this situation public, she is the one that put her business out there for all to dissect. Alicia NEVER spoke on it, until recently when she was asked a question and she gave a simple answer, clearly based on what she felt the situation to be. You all put her in the forefront for women, she DID NOT, she made her music and wrote about things that she experienced and saw other women experience, you all tried to make her some sort of voice for women, now you are disappointed because she is not super human. So you dear need to have several seats and go within to find out why these people’s personal lives affect you like this.

            • DeepThinker

              PREACH! I really liked your remark about Mashonda needing to take responsibilty for her actions in this in order to have peace. So many people continue to point the finger at the other person and NEVER at themselves, they stay stuck being the victim and never move on.
              Also, people need to stop idolizing these public figures, and placing the responsibilty upon them to be role models just because they are rich, and are talented or emulate the characteristics you like. It’s okay to admire, but understand they are humans too, that they are strangers and answer to God like everyone else.

            • guest

              You write an entire bible as a respnse, but claim Celeste takes other people’s personal lives to heart? Ok! God has nothing to do with “judging” her or holding her responsible either. Some people don’t even believe in God and conduct themselves with more morality than so called Christians.

              • SheBe

                LMAO @ the writing an entire Bible. That was good Kikoo, Mayo, Alohaline or whichever… ;-)

          • Vee Mack

            Please stop posting. Alicia is an artist that writes lyrics and sings them. Many, many artist are AIDS advocates. So what? Are you going to hold the rest accountable? If so you will be mad a lot of them. Also she was not with Swizz Beats while he was married and nor did she get pregnant by him while he was married. She is a grown woman she got pregnant because she wanted to. Let Mashonda keep blaming but her marriage just like hundreds of other celebrity marriages was over and he was gone and not coming back. It boils down to who you believe? The woman scorn? Or Alicia the new woman? I believe Alicia. They are all just artist, what does their music have to do with their personal lives? If you like it, got the money then buy it or not!

          • guest

            Preach!!!

        • Sannah

          I agree

  • Cogito

    I believe that women respond this way to these situations because they see their emotinal reflections in the actions of others. They internalize these things because when they happen to others they fear the spread of the contagion into their own lives, so even though this particular event has nothing to do with them personally, they emotionally respond as if they themselves have been victimized.

    • Ohh

      Yep, women are just dumb and jealousy will kill them. Can’t believe they won’t be listening to Alicia’s music but would buy a Swizz’s produced record. Your husbands and boyfriends will continue to cheat on you with thousands of women cuz they know your dumb selves won’t blame them. How come none of you women calling Kanye a homewrecker? He is dating a married person.

      • Cogito

        LOL! Well, first of all, I’m a brother, not a female and my comments were my beliefs on why women emotionally internalize the events that takes place in other women lives. As a man, I capable of empathisizing with a brother and his trials and tribulations, but never do I view his issues as my own, nor do I feel the need to emotionally invest or take sides in matters that have nothing to do with me. I have always made the effort to stay on good terms with logic and reason and never to subordinate them to emotions.

      • ATLQT

        Because Kim never had a home to wreck. Her marriage was a sham to earn her more money. She was not staying whether or not Kanye ever came into the picture.

        • Liz

          Still a marriage in the eyes of God!!!! you can’t pick and choose to fit your needs.

  • Glenn Coco

    I still don’t get why some women took this so personally. Everyone deals with heartbreak at one point or another and to my understanding Swizz and Mashonda’s marriage was on the rocks before Alicia came into the picture. I can’t really say I like Swizz Beatz much considering how he handled the situation but for me it doesn’t take away from Alicia Keys or her talent at all. Ish happens.

    • lovely99

      Men and women lie all the time!!! No one knows, but God and Swizz if the relationship was over….I think they need to stop asking Alicia/Mashonda about this. Everyone needs to move on. I also dont think its normal to get used to someone cheating or leaving their spouse for someone#our society accepts way too much!!

  • Elli

    People continuously act like these celebrities aren’t supposed to be human. People divorce and move on all the time. Granted, the way it happen may not have been pleasant, and maybe he should have waited for the ink to dry. The public never knows the whole story and that’s why I don’t get involved in these peoples lives. The rest of the world should not be so deeply involved either. Cause at the end of the night. WE WERE NOT THERE! We don’t know what was going on between him and Mishonda before Alicia came along. There will always be her side, his side, her side and then the truth.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/STHLARR25CX6HHCQ7VDMDPMU3M shani

    Well I am glad that you realized that but there are many women who will never realize or acknowledge that. One thin I say to ALL the women who say they lost respect for Alicia or can’t bring themselves to listen to her music is that Alicia is a woman she is not a God, and she NEVER put herself on a pedestal others did and chose too because she was so private with her life and she carried herself so well and still does, you put her on a pedestal and when she was involved in a human situation you all decided to drag her down off of that pedestal that you built for her, her personal life has nothing to do with her music and her creativity, as women we all go through different things in life and so does our friends, our parents, our co workers, etc. so as a songwriter she is able to bring those experiences to life, they don’t have to be her experience in order to write about it and put it to her music her women anthem and powerful musical themes are a combination of her experiences and those of many women, so for me as a lover of music, and meaningful music I never lost anything for her because I liked her for her music and I liked her as a person, the person that I see giving back, the person that I never see being negative about others, the person that I see being kind and gracious to her fans, the person that I see using her talent to make people happy. If I were to decide what music, movie, plays, etc. that I purchased or watched based on the peoples personal lives I would hardly be able to listen too or watch anything. I choose not to worship these folks because they are human and human beings have flaws and they disappoint at times, so I just enjoy life, roll with the punches and keep it moving, to get that emotionally involved in someone else situation is toxic especially when you don’t know what REALLY happened, it’s hard enough when you can’t get rid of your own baggage, but it is 10 times worst when you hold on to someone else baggage. I will say one other thing, the two people that were married in the situation need to take personal responsibility for their actions, BOTH PEOPLE, they both went into that marriage eyes wide open because of the things that happened prior to the marriage. Sometimes it is easier to blame someone else than to take responsibility for your own actions.

    • SunshineBlossom

      This is the T-R-U-T-H!!!!

  • KJ23

    This was great! Though I’ve never been cheated on (that I know of) I did lose some respect for Alicia. I haven’t argued with anyone over their love for her, but maybe I should try to figure out why it bothered me so much.

    • Chelle

      It bothered you because you have a conscious and the actions that took place were wrong no way around it anyone with respect for themselves and others would view it as wrong in any relationship celebrity or not. I lost much respect for Ms. Keys after that her music is nice but I am no longer a fan

      • AC

        ^^^^ YESSS, She wasn’t placed on a pedestal by me, it was just WRONG I could never hurt another woman or person like that, especially KNOWINGLY, chile please she is human and because she is human she has a completely functional brain that knows right from wrong, apparently it doesn’t come with a conscious though…her music hasn’t been as good since she’s been with Swizz publicly in my opinion anyways so maybe it was just time for me to move on lol

    • Nenah

      Honestly I just expected better from her.

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