In a recent interview with Essence, rapper Nelly offered his opinion on why he thinks black women are single. Offering that some of our single statuses are due to us wanting the ‘perfect guy,’ here’s a snippet of what he had to say:
“This is just my opinion; I think some girls want the perfect guy. I’m not saying it doesn’t exist, but it has to exist for you. It’s not going to exist for society to say, ‘Yo, this is the perfect guy.”
While I commend Nelly for iterating that this is ‘just his opinion’ and in actuality what he says makes sense, I can’t help but wonder, should we really take advice from Nelly? Or many of the other rappers and entertainers who seek to offer black women relationship advice?
While I think Nelly is definitely a delicious sight to see, I can’t help but recall his ‘Tip Drill’ antics as well as his recent interview stating that he and R & B singer, Ashanti, were always ‘friends only’. Something tells me that Ashanti’s perception of their relationship goes further than just friends. I could be wrong, but many pictures and her previous interviews suggest otherwise.
I know. I digressed.
In addition to Nelly, just a few months ago, we heard rapper Slim Thug resort to the same explanation for why he feels black women are single. But, Slim Thug’s, and many other rappers’, portrayal of black women in most songs and videos can be summed up in one simple word: disrespectful. So while I agree that black woman shouldn’t solicit all of our advice from other single black women, we should be cautious of men who don’t understand how to treat women, or don’t appear to possess the desire to even learn.
Of course this is an ageless debate; but it’s frustrating to hear people, specifically some rappers who haven’t demonstrated the utmost respect for black women, attempt to explain why some of us are single.
This is not an attack on Nelly or any other rapper, nor a cry to start picketing or petitioning against rap music. Instead, I’m posing the question of their credibility when it comes to advice concerning ‘us.’ To take it one step further, is it that black women’s standards are too high or is their self-accountability too low?
Thanks Nelly for your opinion, but – no thanks.
