On Your P’s & Q’s: How Gratitude Helps Your Relationship
“Wham, Bam, Thank you, Ma’am” — a cryptic phrase made popular by an old Dean Martin song — was obviously written from a man’s point of view. It epitomizes the kind of glib, get-it-overwith quickie that immediately makes many women cringe.
But how often do we girls virtually do the same thing — say things we really don’t mean, outside the bedroom? We’re so programmed with “please” and “thank you” manners from an early age, we say “how are you” and “thanks” so often, they automatically come rolling out of our mouths, almost without thinking.
Yet, do we mean it? Are we really, sincerely interested when we ask, or thankful when we say it? I’ll be honest, not usually.
Try responding to that obligatory “How are you?” with the details of your day or your aching back and watch how fast you get that look of shock and annoyance that you’re actually answering. Superficiality seems to be the norm now in so many ways. Deep, sincere thank yous, given with meaning, are much rarer.
We take a lot for granted. When I travelled to South America, I was deeply touched by how little most people had, yet how grateful they were for what they did have. Living in what we might consider abject poverty, common every-day people can be seen up and outside their handmade sod houses at 5:30 a.m, sweeping their dirt sidewalks with pride.
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