“You’re On The Curb Where You Should Be” RHOA Episode 3 Recap

November 19, 2012  |  
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The “Real Housewives of Atlanta” doubled the drama last night when they introduced us to the second season 5 cast newbie Porsha Stewart. At first it seemed like Kenya Moore was going to be the only wild card this season, but if you caught any of episode 3 last night, you’d know something isn’t quite right with this one either, all of which makes me ask: What is really going on with women in the A??

Check out the highlights from last night’s show.

Gregg is still thirsty

Talk about a man who wants that old thing back. Gregg can hardly keep his mouth from watering over the thought of being back in Nene’s life when he’s around her. Last night we should have played a game of how many different ways can someone ask for keys to one’s house because Gregg tried to fit the k-word into every single discussion he was having with his ex. Unfortunately for Gregg, no matter how many times he tried to convince Nene that he had to have keys to her home — including giving her a key to his house and rubbing her feet down — Ms. Leakes still wasn’t on it.

Apollo gets certified in dunkology

There clearly isn’t any money-making opportunity Phaedra can suggest that Apollo won’t do. After convincing her husband to get involved in her upscale mortuary business, Phaedra also somehow got him on board with her new donkey booty DVD plan so much so that Apollo actually got certified to be a trainer and nutritionist. Hey, I’m not mad at him, especially when Phaedra said he’s like Arnold Schwarzanagger on bath salts. Sounds like a workout video worth a purchase.

Apparently Kim is a beautiful, white chocolate pregnant woman

I now see why Kim keeps Sweetie around. Nobody else would fill her head up with BS like she does. On the day Kim and her family were to be moving out of their home (because, you know, they were evicted and all), Kim got so overwhelmed with doing nothing that she decided to just sit and complain about having to move four kids, two dogs, and two adults into a 5,000 sq ft townhouse. That’s when Sweetie stepped in and earned her pay for the day telling Kim she had nothing to worry about because she’s a “beautiful white chocolate pregnant woman.” Coon alert.

Kenya gets a taste of her own medicine

Kenya’s “business meeting” with Porsha was probably the first time I felt a little sympathy for the self-absorbed wanna-be somebody’s housewife. The convo literally went from Hi, nice to meet you to, come to my charity event, to are you married, to I can introduce you to a fertility specialist. Part of me felt like Porsha knew Kenya’s situation and wanted to brag on being the late 20-something married woman with all the time and money in the world to become a new mommy. But the other part of me feels like Porsha is too dense to even be conniving like that, like oh, everyone doesn’t live like me? No chick, they don’t.

So Porsha is…interesting

If the scene with Kenya didn’t leave you scratching your head like, is this chick, meaning Porsha, serious? I’m sure the montage introducing her to viewers did. I can handled privileged, which Porscha clearly is, but delusional I cannot.  The wife of 40-year-old former NFL player Kordell Stewart was all too happy to admit that her idea of a perfect day would be doing absolutely nothing with her other unemployed housewife friends and her giddy, I’m so rich and pretty routine, was just a little off-putting. But in the words of former RHOA star Sheree Whitfield, don’t let the cute face fool you. Porsha proved she can hold her own when she went toe-to-toe with Kenya later in the show.

Cynthia continues to d**k ride Nene’s success

I’m all for friends being proud of their friends, but sometimes Cynthia needs a bib when she’s talking to Nene. Last night she was fumbling over Nene having already “made it” by the time she came to NY and not having the typical struggle story most New Yorkers do and it was just a tad sickening — especially the part when she was like don’t forget about me when you make it to the Emmys. You can tell that’s what all her excessive complimenting is about.

Kandi keeps proving her money smarts

I’m only throwing this in to prove what a boss Kandi is. Did you notice she said she’s been living in the house she just moved out of since 19? Talk about long (smart) money. And on top of that, Kandi had her aunt and uncle help her move — not movers charging $100,000. Pay attention Kim, this is how you sustain wealth.

Kenya sheds tears over mom’s mental illness

So adding another piece to the why Kendra is so effed up puzzle, last night Kenya confessed that her mother appeared to have been suffering from some sort of mental illness. The former Miss USA let on earlier that her mother never really claimed her and tried to give her away which is why she was raised by her grandmother, but the admission that her mother suffered with mental illness helps explain that behavior just a bit more. Nevertheless, everyone is pretty much in agreement that your mother giving you away as a baby is no excuse to act like a bish at 41.

Porsha Kicks Kenya out of her event

Highlight.Of.The.Night. I’ll give Kenya one point for being upset over Porsha getting her title wrong, although she corrected herself immediately when she was told the right one, but the rest of her behavior at the charity event was completely unacceptable. I really want to know why she still has this inflated sense of self about her celebrity status which no one knows nothing of. Hence she had to tell Porsha to “google me,” to which she responded:

“Google you from when? It’s not even in the search engine it’s so old”

Classic.

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