What Gay Isn’t 10 Common False Assumptions People Make Being Homosexual

35 Comments
February 5, 2013 ‐ By Toya Sharee
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I’m not a gay man and I can’t pretend to speak on their behalf, but I have plenty of gay friends to know they aren’t all flaming, finger-snapping, neck-rolling stereotypes.  I may not completely understand being sexually attracted to the same sex personally, but I sure as hell know what gay ISN’T.

When the headline “Kevin Clash Gay, But Not Molestor: Accuser Recants Statement” hit the internet earlier this week, there was a part of me that was a mess of confusion and disappointment.  More so than being disgusted at the allegations made against the popular Elmo puppeteer, I was also jaded at the excitement the media seems to get off of including the word “gay” and “sexual predator” in the same sentence.  It reminds me of popular stereotypes in which gay men instantly get labeled as child molesters  or even use of the common disclaimer “No homo” when a man compliments another man’s appearance.  It’s not to say that there aren’t homosexual child molesters, but gay isn’t some kind of season pass to a world of promiscuous sex, leather chaps and deviant behavior.  Gay can mean a lot of things to a lot of people, but listed below are a few things that it just isn’t:

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  • guest

    I hate when people think that just because you are gay that you are supppose to have a sense of fashion or be a natural designer. I understand that a lot of gay people do, however I know a lot of them that can’t put pieces together to save their life.

  • Say What?

    Black people have been taught throughout the ages to hate themselves for being black and the darker they are the worst it was. Many black people see dating outside of our race as a betrayal or abandonment especially when a successful black male chooses to date/marry out of his race. The hate generated from this is still slightly racist for whatever means. While it doesn’t excuse it many would say it’s valid.

  • SMHgurl24

    Lmfao its so funny how ppl toss around the word logic when they have absolutely no idea what it means! At the end of the day all you can do is laugh..

  • Say What?

    It’s sad to see people okay with so much hate no matter where it comes from or who it’s directed at. Remember it wasn’t that long ago that it was acceptable for us to be called out of our names just because we were black and not white.

  • http://www.facebook.com/issa.lopez.77 Issa Lopez

    This felt like the author was venting. If you’re Gay, cool beans, but don’t hit on straight people like you think you’re gonna turn them. And “No”, it doesn’t make someone homophobic if they don’t agree with your life-style. There are folks who don’t agree with inter-racial relationships, it doesn’t make them racist and I don’t hold it against them. Oh and for the love of God, stop, just stop comparing your struggle to that of the civil rights movement.

    • Say What?

      What other reason would someone have for not agreeing with interracial relationships if they weren’t racist on some level?

  • Knowledge

    STFU!!! All that stuff is a lie…. its a choice you make!!!!……. every kid is curious but some people get stuck on it… its how your raised and who your raised around.. its your environment. No one person is born gay.. the become gay….

    • Say What?

      So you fooled around with the same sex and then decided to be straight? Also it’s ironic that for someone with the moniker “Knowledge” that your spelling and grammar is all wrong…

    • mac

      I don’t think a person chooses to be gay per se, as in have homosexual desires, but they do have the choice of whether or not they’ll act on it.

      • Nicole Brooks

        You have a choice on whether or not you act on any desires. Gay, straight or otherwise. Why does that even need to be brought up? It’s irrelevant.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JAI4SRENU2A5WKRTELXXYJPDSI Kayla

      When do people choose to be straight?

  • chanela

    well one thing i’ve always wondered… why is it that with most gay men, as soon as they come out, they’re SUDDENLY “oh hey miss honey! hay miss thang. bish you betta werk” when they had a normal voice and mannerisms the week before they came out? why do they feel the need to act like a stereotype? why don’t they just act the same except for date men? that’s what confuses me.

    • Laine

      Maybe their voice and mannerism were always “like the stereotype”, but they had to pretend that it wasn’t to be perceived as what you call “normal”

  • mac

    could’ve sworn I’ve seen this same article on this site months ago. Is this a repost?

    • mac

      After further review, it is. What the intent is, I don’t know.

      • http://twitter.com/MizzJazzyPeach J Mc

        i think it’s just based off of the recent news of Kevin Clash. I do know that this type of article was done before because I and another poster had a bit of back and forth on the issue of the topic.

      • SMHgurl24

        ran out of things to write about??

    • iT3ach

      Yeeeeaaaah…I was slightly confused. Like…it’s not even a re-vamp. It’s the EXACT same article… *shrugs*

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JAI4SRENU2A5WKRTELXXYJPDSI Kayla

    Or the most popular, that gays are in a secret society that’s trying to turn little children gay. That gay people are out to “recruit” children, and that when the likes of kanye and cudi wear skirts on stage it makes kids gay. Because we all know as soon as a kid sees that he immediately dumps his gf and makeout with the nearest man he sees

    • Chocolate_Star

      Sounds like something my boyfriend would say. Everything on that list sounds like him. The most ignorant stereotype I’ve heard him say is “All gay men have a lisp”. I’ve tried, and there is nothing I can say or do to change his views. He thinks I get angry cause I’m secretly gay.

      • SMHgurl24

        Lol my friend’s mother accused me of being gay because I support gay rights.. Gotta love the black and white mentality eh

  • Dichu eba realy lub mehSteebie

    Anywho, I was also waiting for the writer to debunk the stereotype that most gay people act like everyone who does not agree with their lifestyle is a homophobe. Guess that one couldn’t be proven false because I see that “a lot”.

    • Meme

      Are you a homophobe?

      • Dichu eba realy lub mehSteebie

        Nope. I definitely do not have a fear of homosexuals. Sorry.

        • Nicole Brooks

          That’s not what homophobia means. Yes the “literal” translation of phobia means extreme irrational fear but that’s not what it means socially. So yes; if you disagree with homosexaulity (b/c it’s not al lifestyle) you are homophobic.

          • Dichu eba realy lub mehSteebie

            And that is the “false assumption” that homosexuals make about heterosexuals. That just because you don’t agree with the way they live their life that makes someone homophobic. Give me a freaking break honey. I never said I didn’t respect them or treated them differently because they are gay. Im not going to stand on a street corner with a picket fence protesting gay marriage or not lot them serve me food just because they are gay. Like I told my gay friends, Im not going to treat you any different than my straight friends, and I will always respect you but just know that I don’t agree with the gay lifestyle but I still have respect for you just like you should for me and my point of view without bashing me as a homophobe. And you know what? They did. So no I am not a homophobe. Its only in the one track mindedness of people like you. I believe being gay is a lifestyle just like I believe choosing to be straight or a Christian or Muslim or a gypsy is a lifestyle.

          • Dichu eba realy lub mehSteebie

            And I don’t care what the term means socially, the “correct” definition is the fear of homosexuals which once again, I am not. Thank you.

            • Nicole Brooks

              That’s is what people mean when they use it though. You can not ignore social context just to make something work for yourself. That’s like people trying to excuse using the word “retard” or “retarded” by saying “this is the literal text book definition” when the word is offensive in social context. You are, in fact, homophobic. Just like xenophobes aren’t really afraid of people from other countries, they’re just racist, prejudiced people who are against immigration.

              • Dichu eba realy lub mehSteebie

                But you calling me homophobic is ignorant because you don’t know me and therefor can not judge my character. If I was such a homophobe I would not live with a gay roommate or associate with gay people at all. We can agree to disagree because this debate is going absolutely no where. Like I said before, I respect and love everyone the same. Just because I don’t agree with them doesn’t mean that I hate them or dislike them. Now please stop wasting your breath sweetie.

  • Dichu eba realy lub mehSteebie

    On the last subject, its only two places where something can be inserted when two guys are having sex unless I am just missing something :S

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JAI4SRENU2A5WKRTELXXYJPDSI Kayla

      The sum of a persons sexuality isn’t where they insert their scholong. Making it overly simplistic is where the problem lies.

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