True Life: I Knew I Was A Grown Woman When…

November 16, 2012  |  



Andrea When I got my bill from Sallie Mae.


Ashley When the stuff my friends did in high school and college was no longer cool as an adult


Quichea When I stopped caring about what people thought of me and stopped fighting with my children’s father. I moved on and toward Christ. I became a better mother, friend, daughter and woman. #thanksbetoGod


Kelli  When I was 28 I quit the job I hated and packed up to start over in a new city. Best decision I ever made!


Tonya My momma always said, “u ain’t grown til u on yo own.” So, I became grown when I had to pay every bill in my apt PLUS rent all by myself. I was 22 years old then.


Jay When I learned how to take responsibility for and accept myself.


Nettie The day my mother died in 2006….


Tonia When I suffered my first miscarriage…..


Maria When I buried my husband. I was 29.


Nica When I had to get my “grown A$$” up @ 3 am to warm up a bottle for my screaming baby 22 yrs ago. Def don’t miss that


Tevina  When I gained the admiration and respect of other grown women.


Deborah  I realized that I was officially grown when, sometime after 40, I saw there isn’t anything that I truly own worth more to me than the love from my children.


La Janee I realized I was a “woman” when I was able to be honest with myself about certain things in life. I was able to critique myself and deal with my own issues. I became a woman when I started to deal with certain things that were previously weighing me down. I learned to accept my flaws and love myself. Now that I am doing that, I am definitely grown and can hold my own. Life is so much better! <3


O.b. When I took over care of my brother who has a disability because my parents couldn’t get their act together. I was 24 and he was 22, and 11yrs later, I am still on it. #goodsistersrock! (:


Pamela  When I divorced my abusive husband and was raising my three boys all alone.


Tawni After I learned who I am, and how to take care of me.

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  • Gye Nyame

    I knew I was a grown woman when my son was diagnosed with autism…not only did I grow up, but it has made me a better person. Shout out to all the moms of special needs children… we are a strong bunch!

  • Lola

    Wow, Ladies! I got teary-eyed and smiled simultaneously while reading your posts. I wish you all the best of luck!

    1) I knew I was grown when I was able to carry on conversations with my father about anything, i.e. my relationship, hopes and dreams. I no longer felt I had to lie to him for fear he might be disappointed in me.

    2) I also knew I was grown when I preferred to be friends with women who are reserved and cerebral, as opposed to the dysfunctional drama queens.

  • Pumpkin

    Two things made me come to the realization I was grown. 1.I stayed up all night arguing with my BF crying, when that alarm clock went off. I looked at him sleeping like a baby and made the decision I don’t care what he going through I gotta go to work. Tears don’t pay bills 2.When I moved my entire family mother, sister, step father and brother in law in the same house because the economy was bad where they lived. I shoulder the burden for a year. That was difficult but
    necessary. Family looks out for family

  • dee

    I realized I was grown when getting the last word in an argument or disagreement just didn’t matter to me anymore.

  • Jen

    “I became a woman when I started to deal with certain things that were previously weighing me down. I learned to accept my flaws and love myself” this speaks volumes. I pray that I can get here myself. I know it takes hard work and commitment to be a better Person. One day at a time

  • cutielocs

    I knew I was grown when I took myself on vacation overseas and every year I continue to do the same.

  • I knew I was grown when I had to leave my nine month old daughter with my mom to join the Army so that I could provide her with a better life.

  • Winner

    When i finished university and had no choice but to rent a place and pay all my bills by myself. Am now 23 with my own flat and in my chosen career. #GODS GOOD

  • Shirl

    I knew I was grown when at 19 the doctor told me and my then boyfriend (now husband) that we were pregnant. We both knew it was time to grow up because we had some serious responsibilities.

  • Guest360

    I’m not a grown woman yet but I certainly feel like I’m on the path to be. I just turned 21 and I’m finding that I’m growing at a much different pace than my 20/21 year old friends. I definitely voice my opinions more. More importantly I’m finding a direction in life that I’m excited about and refuse to let my friends and family deter me from getting my ish together. All the drama, laziness, and whining that I fully participated in a while back, suddenly annoy the hell out of me. Everyone has their own path and it takes some a while longer to get on the straight and narrow and I understand that. My journey is just coming a little sooner is all and I’m ok with that. Before I would have felt guilty but now I’m beginning to realize that you can’t make it in life being tied down by others and their problems. Sometimes you have to go solo. I’m not there yet but change is definitely happening for me mentally and emotionally and I couldn’t be happier. 🙂

    • Allie

      I have to say i’m right there with you, I’m 20 and I would say that I’m in the transition phase, I’m finding that I’m growing out of the girl phase and I’m molding and shaping my life into how I see fit. The pettiness and drama that I see affecting some of my friends, no longer affects me nor does it appeal to me. This current phase of life is definitely new, interesting, and exciting.

  • Pivyque

    I have to go with that first one. lol That first Sallie Mae bill let me know that I had officially entered adulthood. Thank goodness that’s over with!

  • bahamianempress99

    I knew I was grown when my calls home for money ceased. I’m 22 in college and supporting myself. But I really knew I was grown when 1, my heartbreaks hurt more than they used to and 2, when relationship songs I listened to in high school for novelty effect actually started to apply to my life and relationships.

  • get real

    No “I knew I was a grown woman when a white man showed me how to love” comments? Wow

  • MIYO K.

    True Life: I knew I was a grown woman when I turned 18.

  • beautiful list. I’m not grown yet, but i’m holding down two jobs, going to school, an plan on paying for school by myself.

    • Pivyque

      Best wishes to you! 🙂 Make it happen!

    • Tamz

      You can do it Driven!!!

    • Stay focused! While it certainly is NOT easy, it is necessary, and it feels so good to say you did it all on your own! Bless!