Bullying, The Lingering Effects

14 comments
November 16, 2012 ‐ By Erica RivaFlowz Buddington

Source: Shutterstock.com

There were two things that got your A$$ whooped in my school:

1) Looking like a nerd.

2) Looking like a nerd with a permanently raised hand.

Let me give you the visuals first: At thirteen, I’d accrued an incredibly large gap from adolescent thumb sucking, glasses as thick as coke bottles and a head of poof perm; due to my mother’s try-it-at-home experiments. It also didn’t help that I was extremely talented in reading/writing.

That being said, I was in for it.

Earlier on in my school career, I’d moved from the boroughs of New York City to the burbs’. The third grade teacher at my elementary school placed me at a table in the back of the room, until they could scramble up a desk for me. Immediately I was the center of attention. Girls’ high pitched whispers glazed the bellows of the boys, all pondering the same question: Who was the freak?

 

This might not have been their inquiry. In fact, my twenty-three and more sensible self will tell me that the excitement arose solely from having a new face around. However, my nine year old insecure self was immediately frightened. Agitated with the urgency of needing to know whether I was liked or not, I came to a conclusion: I would stand my ground; I would be an individual and set my own trends.

I was doomed.

Kristin Hall was the first to speak, “I’m the flyest girl around here and if you want to get in good with anyone, you have to join my sorority.”

“Sorority, what’s that?” I asked.

The other girls who’d accumulated behind her snickered, “It’s something my mom was in. It’s when a group of girls all hang together and does whatever they want for fun. You can only hang with us though.”

“No thanks, I kind of want to get to know everyone.” I breathed.

Kristin placed her hand on her hips, swung an evil glance around the room to the rest of the students and smirked.

“Fine, do what you want.”

Little did I know, Kristin’s glance would define my entire primary AND secondary school career. It seemed as though everyone was afraid of her and since I’d rejected her invitation, I was the enemy.

During lunch, I’d sit under my favorite tree for the next two years beckoning for this phase to pass. I hoped that it would all be over. While catching up on The Babysitter’s Club and Nikki Giovanni, in the shade, the girls would walk past and throw insults for no reason at all.

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  • MIYO K.

    I wasn’t bullied, but I was teased and it has definitely affected the way I feel about receiving compliments from people and how I interact with them besides being an introvert.

  • naysua

    Good piece too bad you posted on a short attention span site

  • Incredible23

    I see bullies who grew up to be those same losers, in this comment thread. Defensive much? Lol

  • realadulttalk

    I got bored after page 1 of you describing adolescence. I really wish your generation would stop using the word “bullying” to describe growing up. If there was bullying–forgive me, b/c as I said I didn’t continue reading.

    • rzakia

      All you really missed was the quintessential I was a loser as a child and went away to college and blossomed while everyone who was popular in high school is now a loser story. Same story different author.

      • SheBe

        OMG! Lol

      • realadulttalk

        I’m glad I did not go on. Lol

      • kylieky

        i don’t understand the logic in calling any child a loser.

        • realadulttalk

          The writer is 23…come on now.

          • PhD_Chick

            I take it that you were the bully in school. Hope you don’t have kids. SMH….

      • Kenedy

        Thanks for the summary though! Lol, had a feeling it was one of those kinda articles

    • Nikki

      Do you consider being are harassed and teased on a daily basis by groups of people (for no good reason) a part of “growing up”, too?

      • realadulttalk

        Where was any of that on the first page sweets?

        • Nikki

          It wasn’t. I was just asking you a question. You said that people of my generation use the word bullying to describe growing up. Bullying is when one person or a group of people use(s) their power to continuously intimate or belittle another person. See my logic?