Let’s Not Make It A Movie Night: 10 Flicks That Could Break Up Your Relationship
Movies are a wonderful thing. They transport audiences to faraway places and long-forgotten time periods. They speak to our deepest emotions and make love and wonder seem possible. Those are great things, right? Not exactly. For every woman whose heart soars at the very thought of The Notebook, there’s a dude stewing over that ripped, muscular bastard (Damn you, Ryan Gosling!). There’s plenty of romantic movies that make dudes cringe, but which movies are so sweet, so incredible, so romantic or so hot that they could push a relationship over oblivion’s edge? Allow us to break it down for you.
Before there was The Notebook there was Titanic. From Leonardo DiCaprio grasping onto a surprisingly thick Kate Winslet on the bow of the ill-fated ship to their very hot sketch session before they get it on for the first time, Titanic set a whole new bar for romantic gestures. And men far and wide discovered a hatred for James Cameron. Sure he contributed to the man canon of film with Terminator and The Abyss, but showing homegirl getting some romance from that blue-eyed hot piece of tail? Now all of a sudden wifeys worldwide want that level of adoration from their men. Menfolk cringe.
The reigning champ of all things romantic. The bane of R. Kelly’s marriage. The Notebook has got to be one of the most sickeningly romantic stories to ever sprout out of the mind of Nicholas Sparks. And while every woman with a uterus and a heart absolutely melted at the 1940s love affair between Noah Calhoun and Allie Hamilton, every man has come away from the flick less than pleased by all the movie romance — except for one. And that man is R. Kelly who claimed in his 2012 memoir, “Soulacoaster: The Diary of Me,” that after he finished blubbering over the movie’s heart-wrenching final minutes, he realized that his marriage to dancer Andrea Kelly “had died.” Damn you, Ryan Gosling!
Honestly, Magic Mike should just be a placeholder for any movie with Channing Tatum. If that bundled of hot man meat doesn’t get you all hot and bothered (and send your boo into an envious little tizzy) I don’t know what will. And if that isn’t bad enough for your not-as-muscular mate, Magic Mike also features some additional nakedness courtesy of Matthew McConaughey, Alex Pettyfer, Adam Rodriguez and Joe Manganiello. If you want to play nice girlfriend and not make him completely insecure, make sure your man is out of the house if you’re going to pop this one in the DVD player.
Now Dirty Dancing is a personal favorite, but still a relationship offender on a number of fronts. Let’s see. Hot location? Check. Even sexier leading man (what up, Patrick Swayze)? Check. Killer dance moves? Check, check, check. The minute Johnny lifts Baby up out of that lake, it’s game over. We’d be lying if we said we didn’t want a man who could toss us around with ease like that (I’m looking at you, again, Ryan Gosling). But alas, not all men are cut out to lift their ladies and prance around oh so sexily. And if your man is already getting on your nerves, his lack of Swayze swagger could put a final nail in that relationship coffin.
An oldie but a goodie, Love & Basketball‘s relationship-crushing appeal comes in the film’s final minutes. The sight of Sanaa Lathan and Omar Epps ballin’ it out to decide their future together was not only heart-melting, but a scene that every on-the-low tomboy wanted to replicate with her man. Not to mention sticking it to Tyra Banks in the process. We’ll count that as a win! And damn, if staring at Omar Epps’ hotness for more than 90 minutes doesn’t make you start reconsidering your choice of companion, I don’t know what will.
Fellas know they’re in for it when their lady watches a movie where any leading man busts out with the original hot fire. The minute a man starts belting out a love ballad, no matter if it’s slightly out of tune or a little ill-conceived, women swoon. So it doesn’t come as much of a surprise that The Wedding Singer is making this countdown of potential relationship ruiners. Sure Adam Sandler isn’t really a stud, but his genuine adoration and love of Drew Barrymore will make any lady swoon and make her just a bit more resentful if her boo isn’t as sweet.
Another classic romance, Pretty Woman gave us a hooker with a heart of gold (and no pimp) and a dapper businessman who, get this, fall in love. Though most viewers probably didn’t relate that closely to ho-ed out Julia Roberts, we can guarantee they fell all over themselves the minute Richard Gere flipped open that little felt box to reveal ruby and diamond awesomeness. Cha-ching! And ladies you’re lying if you didn’t look at your man and wonder if he’d swung by the jewelry store lately. Hell, if Richard Gere can shell out some cash for a street walker, my man can too!
Friends With Benefits
This movie was chock full of 20-something swexiness. With two ridiculously likeable actors (Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake) at the forefront, Friends With Benefits is a pretty self-explanatory film. It poses the question of whether a man and a woman can carry on a sexual relationship without any emotional attachments. Novel concept. Not so novel a concept when those two fall in love. But for any dude who was hoping to keep pressing his luck with a friends with benefits setup this movie certainly slaughtered that dream.
OK, so couple of problems with this movie but the main one is it stars Taye Diggs, who inevitably will cause every woman to drool uncontrollably and every man to become green with envy. He’s a man with undeniable charisma and the way that he interacts with Sanaa Lathan will make anyone weak in the knees. Fellas, you catch your lady staring at you with a disappointed gaze … you’ll know why.