Ask A Very Smart Brotha: Should We Have Sex While I’m On My Period?

November 14, 2012  |

This might be a little TMI; but I’m very curious to know how other men feel about this, so I thought I’d ask. Recently, I was cuddling/making out with my boyfriend in bed when he tried to initiate sex. Normally, that would have been fine but I was on my period, which he knew, and I told him I didn’t exactly feel comfortable. He went into this persuasive speech about fluids being a natural part of sex, how we could make sure it was clean as possible etc. He was making a lot of sense and hormonally, I’d definitely be down; but a part of me still feels like it’s just…dirty. So needless to say, it didn’t happen that night; but I guess my question is, do most men want to have sex with women when they’re on their period? Should I work on being more open-minded and try to see things differently?

Reluctant Redwinger

Dear Redwinger,

Let me tell you something about myself. I really, really enjoy eating food. I realize that most people enjoy food, but I think my enjoyment of it surpasses the usual amount. An ex-girlfriend even used to call me “the garbage disposal” because she knew that I’d always eat whatever she couldn’t finish on her plate. Shyte, I’m eating right now as I’m typing.

But, despite this love of food, there was always one thing I just couldn’t stand to put in my mouth:  sushi. While I love seafood, the idea of eating raw and barely cooked fish made my skin chill. I’m a guy who won’t even eat a burger or steak if I see any trace of pink, so there was no damn way any raw tuna was going into my mouth.

Then, one day, while at with some friends and drinking, one of them ordered a sushi combo platter. Although the idea of eating raw fish still kind of disgusted me, I was intrigued because everyone who actually did it said that they loved it. Couldn’t get enough of it, actually.

So, after a few more shots, I gathered my courage and took a bite. And another. And another. I literally could not believe how good it was, and I was actually mad at myself for taking so long to try it.

A couple weeks later, I shared this story with a couple friends, who also shared similar stories. They too loved food but were disgusted by the idea of eating raw fish. But, once they actually got past the disgust and tried it, they absolutely loved it, and were relived to see that other people got past the stigma, tried it, and loved it too.

I understand the mental block with eating raw food. All of our lives we’ve been told that raw meat is unhealthy, so the thought of knowingly putting uncooked fish in your mouth makes you feel dirty, like you’re going to get a disease or something. But, if the sushi is prepared right, it’s just as clean as any other cooked food.

What does this have to do with period sex? Nothing, actually. Just wanted to share my story about sushi.


Damon Young

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  • Completely disgusting. I refuse to have intercourse on my cycle and I wouldnt want to be with a man who wanted to, if he’ll lay up in a dirty, bloody v a g. what other kind of na. sty things will he do. absolutely not, 7 days isn’t long so all of that can wait. people are disgusting.

    • Dimpz

      You Sound immature as Heck. There’s nothing “Dirty” about a bloody Punani. In fact it’s the freshest cleanest blood you can find in your Body, anyway moving on….i’ve Never let anybody into the red Sea but honestly don’t knock it Till u’ve Tried it. *kanye shrug*

      • No I’m NOT immature no I WON’T try it and I might have used the wrong wording but it’s still n asty. Any so called man or woman should be ashamed of themselves for doing that.

  • Queen27

    If you are having random sex with men on your period that is a no-no but if its your man and he wants it-go for it. I only done this a few times with my ex bf but I always waited until the 3rd day or so when it lightened up.

  • lovely

    i didnt like it

  • really?

    3 weeks????? Girl, I hope that’s a typo. ANY man would be desperate after that long!

  • CrayolaGirl

    Bwahahahaha!!!! Good story. It made sense even though your response was all about sushi.

  • Candacey Doris

    Well you know what you don’t like. At least if she says that you never tried it you can tell her otherwise.

    Good job on knocking that period on 😛

  • kierah

    It also says you can’t even eat food cooked by a woman on her cycle or
    lie in the same bed, but thousands of people do it all the time. Seriously do you banish your husband from your bed during your monthly? So if you want to be LITERAL…
    It is a decision between the two people involved. If LW thinks it’s gross, she shouldn’t engage just to please her man. Nor should refrain just because we say she shouldn’t.

    • MsObsidian


      Although I mentioned that the menstrual cycle is ordained by God, I did not say anything about the Bible or Leviticus. I am simply stating my own personal views about sexual relations during the female monthly cycle. My viewpoint is not theological, it’s simply personal.

  • Hildy

    Agree with your teological arguments here, though I do not think it would be a sin to have period sex…(I mean in certain cases: how can you safely decide whether it is truly over…and what about the 5th day…is it still the period yet?) I would add some health-related points here as well: as during our period, our female organs (esp. our cervix) are open, making the risk of us getting seriously infected by STDs even higher, it is much safer to stay away from sex for a few days. And as a woman I think you can also think about not having sex during your cycle as a way of respecting your own body: when you feel pain or you want to be alone, don’t push yourself to.make love, just to make the someone else happy. It is your body at first….

    • MsObsidian


      I am not saying anything about sin. I am simply stating that it is unclean. I am not no one’s judge, so I am not going to say someone is sinning because they have sex during menses. I am simply saying that in my personal opinion, that sex during menses is unclean and that those few days should be respected by both parties.

  • ariesdollface

    “knocked it on” huh? bravo you

  • ibdyw5

    In my opinion that is the most disgusting thing ever.. and it is a time when a woman is purifying her body.. why can’t you wait for a week for sex? That is totally gross. Have a seat and, relax. Masturbate or do whatever you need to do until she is finished. And, in the bible in Leviticus it speaks about lying with a woman who is own her period.. it was strictly forbidden because the woman was considered “unclean”.

    • Is It 5:00 Yet?

      You are exactly correct.

    • yes . ! finally, someone who knows.

  • adore

    well i’ve tried sushi before and it was the worst taste ive ever experienced… i’ll keep saying no to period sex 😉

  • noirlily

    Ha! Such a good response.

  • lightbrownis

    there are men who don’t care, but guess what? I care. As a married woman, that week is when I get to go to sleep without constant fondling and taps on the shoulder. God gave us that week for a reason and the smell is supposed to keep men away.

    • danes


    • Yay!

      See a doc boo, there never needs to be a smell that might keep someone away…

      • Megs

        Lmao. Seriously I can’t stop laughing!

      • SheBe


      • Queen27

        Lmao, i was thinking the same thing

  • get real

    *Staring at the title, motionless, eyes wide with my jaw to the floor.*

    • SheBe

      WHOA!!!! That’s serious coming from you! Lol!

  • Honesty


    hahaha!!!! I screamed in laughter when you kept taking bites of sushi. That is EXACTLY how it is!

  • MIYO K.

    If the story here is real, it seems as if that guy was pretty darn desperate.

  • Candacey Doris

    To each their own, just put sheets you don’t mind messing up on the bed. And don’t tell everyone about it, keep it to yourself.

    I agree about the sushi.

  • navronis

    I say all that but the “what does that have to do with period sex? Nothing” ending did make me LOL.

  • Cakester

    I loved the response!!! Reading between the lines…

  • navronis

    What the heck kind of evasive answer is that? Do you have period sex or not? Is the sushi story a way of saying period sex is the best sex ever for you? Brah… be direct! Are you saying it’s an acquired taste? I’m confused by your discomfort to answer the question head on.

    • Candacey Doris

      Read between the lines. He probably doesn’t want to tell all his personal tastes (can you blame him?), so draw your own conclusion from the story.

      • kierah

        For some folks, you’ve got to connect all the dots…subtlety is an art form not appreciated by all. Kind of like sushi 😉

    • MIYO K.

      That is because this ‘very smart brotha’ is a ruse.

    • Honesty

      He’s saying, don’t knock it until you try it. And once you try it, don’t be surprise if you keep on trying/doing it.

  • Kay

    Lol I can’t with his response to the period question. But I think he’s saying that it disgusted him until he tried it.