Give Him The Finger & 8 Other Responses For The Guy Who Told You To Smile

195 comments
November 13, 2012 ‐ By

 

Source: Shutterstock.com

Ladies, I already know that you know where I’m coming from with this one. You’re walking out of your apartment, thinking about all of the things you have to do today, when a man, a man you don’t know from Adam, instructs you to smile. *Sigh* There are so many things wrong with this lame azz pick up line. First, you don’t know me or what I may be going through in life right now. Second, a simple hello will do. And third, what real person, aside from a cartoon character, or a member of the Brady Bunch family walks around smiling all day long?!? As terrible as this pick up line is, it can catch you so off guard that your first instinct may be to do just what homeboy asked you to do in the first place. No! Don’t let stranger man win! Instead, hit him with one of the following responses, so he knows that the “smile” line is all the way played out.

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  • Kath

    OMGGss.. lol No. 1 is exactly what I ALWAYS do, that with all seriousness and no words.

  • zake

    Not
    every guy who says hello to you wants to pick you up. Black women need to get out
    of the ghetto once in awhile. I
    suppose the Japanese anthropologist was
    right when his research showed black women were the ugliest, less feminine inside
    and out side.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tiffanie-MadameGigglez-Thomas/665285721 Tiffanie MadameGigglez Thomas

    dig in ya nose….

  • Chelle

    I agree about men telling women to smile is a command issued to raise their own comfort level or flirt. I’ve never seen a man tell another man to smile. I’ve also never had a man tell me to smile when he was with another woman. I once had a guy tell me to smile the day after my mother had been hospitalized after having a heart attack. If a guy really wants to show concern, why not ask “How are you today?” and if a woman chooses to share what’s going on in her life, really LISTEN. But then that would take the focus away from him, and most men don’t want to do that.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins

    i like this article. for the men: 1.”hello” etc is much preferred. 2. if a woman shows no interest in you,don’t flirt with her.

  • http://www.facebook.com/thokozileX Thokozile Xaba

    Some moron said this to me and I asked him, “do u know me? My dog could’ve just died” and my dog had just died. I mean, how obnoxious.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tiffanie-MadameGigglez-Thomas/665285721 Tiffanie MadameGigglez Thomas

    This IS my smile and the NO!!!!! had me rolling!

  • http://twitter.com/docbndgrl9113 Keesha (Киша)

    I’ve had a guy ask me to smile and I smiled immediately. The funny thing about it was that I wasn’t having the best day, but to have him tell me to smile actually brightened my day a bit. I am also the type of person who doesn’t stay sad or angry for too long, so that probably had a lot to do with it. I love to smile and laugh. I guess the response to a guy telling a woman to smile really depends on the type of person the woman is.

  • maggie

    Alternative response to the article: with great intent and facial contortion, relieve the itch in your groin area, stop scratching b/c the itch is relieved, look up and smile so widely as if you have begun to pay attention to what the guy was saying before you was distracted.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins

      lol! you sick…

  • Solo40

    Immature much?

  • ms. lisa

    thank u soooo much MN 4posting this article. i had this professor at my school that always tells me to smile. im a senior in college trying to graduate and i have alot of other personal things going on. im the type of person who wears my emotions on my sleeve. I just think its inconsiderate that ppl like him thinks everyone can just smile through pain,stress and anxiety. F*** off and let ppl be!

    • http://twitter.com/docbndgrl9113 Keesha (Киша)

      I’m a senior in college as well, but I guess I’m just different. Even when I am going through a stressful time, I always try to make sure that I smile at least once a day and I try to laugh even more. For me, it isn’t putting on an act or trying to pretend that everything is okay. What many people don’t realize that smiling and laughing actually helps to reduce stress.

  • realadulttalk

    I’ve been practicing my dead-eye stare for just this reason.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins

      lol!

  • dbatt001

    thank you

  • SheBe

    This became way too serious…..

  • Miyo K.

    You have a tendency to approach women of other races because random Black women on the street don’t smile at you? Cut the horse manure!

    SHOWING DECENY TO A STRANGER WOULD BEGIN WITH RANDOM MEN ON THE STREET NOT ORDERING WOMEN WHO THEY DO NOT KNOW TO SMILE!

  • Miyo K.

    Even if a man does see the same woman with a ‘mean mug’ on her face, it still isn’t any of his business.

  • Miyo K.

    THIS IS ONE OF THE PROBLEMS WITH MEN. THERE WILL BE MANY WOMEN AGREEING THAT THEY DON’T LIKE SOMETHING BUT MEN WON’T LISTEN AND CONTINUE THE BEHAVIOR ANY WAY AND THEN WONDER WHY THEY GOT AN UNPLEASANT RESPONSE.

  • GeekMommaRants

    In other African cultures men and women do not talk to each other in the STREET!!! There is a name for a woman who is accessible to any man. We all know this name. This action is NOT LOVE or RESPECT, its harassment! MEN! Do Nigerian men “Holla” at women? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Why do you?

  • SunshineBlossom

    My mother taught me to mean-mug outside when I’m by myself. Why? I have things to focus on myself, and dudes is the absolute LAST priority on that list. And, it’s to prevent roaches like said dude in article from bothering me. I am a walking can of Raid.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins

      well effing said!

  • Rosetta Stone

    You want me to smile…. Humor me!

  • Marie

    I get this from time to time. To me, it’s like any other line a man slides on you. It’s just to be able to say anything to you. It’s really not that deep for me though. Sometimes I actually choose to smile, sometimes I don’t. I keep it moving either way. As with any kind of cat-calling/pick-up line, the corny, tired gesture doesn’t ruin my day.

  • Miyo K.

    WOMEN OWE MEN NOTHING! No woman has to walk around smiling for the sake of making random men on the street feel good about themselves. If a man wanted to brighten a woman’s day, he could try making her laugh or having a sensible, adult-like conversation with her. Commanding random women on the street to smile doesn’t make a woman smile. It makes women irritated. You may be okay with having men control what expressions they see from you despite feeling differently on the inside, but there are many of us women who are not okay with that. I’LL ASK YOU AGAIN: WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU HEARD OR HAVE SEEN A MAN TELL ANOTHER MAN TO SMILE?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Muthapukkin-Tinney/100001244269956 Anthony Muthapukkin Tinney

      Where in my statement did i say women owed men anything?You don`t!!If you don`t want to smile,THAT`S YOUR RIGHT!!And why are you hell-bent on getting a man to tell another man to smile?

      • Miyo K.

        1. I don’t need you to tell me what my rights are. I am well aware that I do not have to smile if I don’t want to.

        2. I am not ‘hell-bent on getting a man to tell another a man to smile’. I ASKED if men tell other men to smile.

        3. This comment was not addressed to you!

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Muthapukkin-Tinney/100001244269956 Anthony Muthapukkin Tinney

          Fair enough! And with that i`m exercising my right to end this dialouge!

          • MIYO K.

            Well, thank goodness!

  • Miyo K.

    RIDDLE ME THIS: WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU HEARD A MAN TELL ANOTHER MAN TO SMILE?

  • Allie

    Lol this post sure did blow up.. but i guess i’m half way, when i’m passing by someone i’ll always smile especially when they smile first, except if i’m having just a downright awful day, nonetheless i haven’t run into this situation too frequently but the last time i did i just smiled and continued on *shrugs* I guess it all depends on what kind of mood i am in..

  • Rosetta Stone

    and i’ll add this. Men, you do not know what going on in someone’s life at that moment. That particular woman could be having a terrible day and the last thing she wants to hear is someone who doesnt know her or her situation, telling her to smile. Just a thought.

  • Rosetta Stone

    Lol ive had this happen to me maybe twice and when they say “smile” i usually say “make me laugh” and walk away. lol

  • real rap

    dont these reactions PERPETUATE the ‘angry black woman’ persona. #ijs

    • Rosetta Stone

      Not really. These reactions are the TRUTH about how some women feel. respect that. stop trying to read into something that isnt there. Just listen and take heed.

    • Miyo K.

      No, the reactions perpetuate how ignorant of male privilege many men are and how many of them see women as objects and not humans with a full range of emotions.

  • Derek

    So THIS is where all the mean spirited, bad attitude, responses to simple, well intentioned, kind hearted gestures come from….Since this is a site for black females, let’s just hope all this advice is limited to just them, we shouldn’t contaminate the rest of the pool. And SMILE more, it’s Positive Energy that everyone needs!

    • GeekMommaRants

      African men do not speak to women in the street! Never!! This is seen, by African MEN as disrespectful. Are we clear?

      • get real

        Hell we in America and you talking about what’s happening in West Africa somewhere. Lol. Kill it woman.

        • GeekMommaRants

          Huh? this is still disrespectful to order a stranger about, why is this crazy? Maybe an alternative would be saying HELLO? I speak to those who speak to me, always.

    • Miyo K.

      If a person is ‘well meaning and kind hearted’, then they would leave random women ALONE and not tell them what expressions to wear on their face! Would you like it if another man came up to you and told you to smile? No, you’d probably tell him to f*ck off!

  • Tamz

    I smile. A lot. If I have a “frown” on my face, I am usually deep in thought about something. But when I make eye contact, I do smile.

  • Ms. Bee

    I scowl at them, growl at them, then I go home to my man and smile at him.

    But yall are funny tho. So uptight, these comments are. Some of yall are mad ’cause you don’t want to smile. The others are bitter ’cause yall do wanna smile? Hm. Maybe you should just do what you wanna do. This post isn’t to dictate your life, lol.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Muthapukkin-Tinney/100001244269956 Anthony Muthapukkin Tinney

    You know,i was`nt going to respond,but i have to.The author as well as the majority of commentors` on this blog give bm valid reasons not to say ANYTHING to bw.So when people like D.L Hugley say ALL bw are angry,you have no right to be upset,because you just co-signed the very stereotype you all claim is false.

    • get real

      Exactly. I basically said the samething in an earlier comment. Their admitting and confessing to the angry, mad, and attitude stereotype. Can u believe these comments????

      • GeekMommaRants

        Please get real!! African men do not speak to women in the street! Never!! This is seen, by African MEN as disrespectful. Perhaps you are NOT African. Asian or European?

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Muthapukkin-Tinney/100001244269956 Anthony Muthapukkin Tinney

          I`m a black american man,guilty as charged.

          • GeekMommaRants

            What would it take Anthony for you and others to understand how disrespectful it is to tell a woman to smile? How about saying Hello? Perhaps this is an option.

            • Miyo K.

              They won’t ever get it, nor do they care to do so. All they know is that they are going to keep telling women to smile without even knowing why they do it or why it is a bothersome thing to many women.

            • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Muthapukkin-Tinney/100001244269956 Anthony Muthapukkin Tinney

              I actually don`t speak to blk women unless it`s out of necessity.That keeps me from being traumatized.Being on this site however contradicts my actions,so go figure.

              • GeekMommaRants

                Yet you visit a woman’s site and comment like it’s personal to you. RIGHT!!

                • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Muthapukkin-Tinney/100001244269956 Anthony Muthapukkin Tinney

                  I`m a glutton for punishment i suppose.

                  • MLS2698

                    Lol! I think we have at least three ” resident men ” on this site but I can never figure out why……other than looking for punishment. Women are from Mars and men are from Yuranus!

                    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Muthapukkin-Tinney/100001244269956 Anthony Muthapukkin Tinney

                      Yuranus? Don`t quit your day-job.lol.

                    • MLS2698

                      Your…….. a-n-u-s. That was a joke.LOL!

                    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Muthapukkin-Tinney/100001244269956 Anthony Muthapukkin Tinney

                      I know..A very bad one at that. lmao.

                    • MLS2698

                      Thank you!

                    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Muthapukkin-Tinney/100001244269956 Anthony Muthapukkin Tinney

                      I actually thought it was funny,so what does that say about me?lol.

        • get real

          Is this th pathetic reasonsing that we’ve come to? Comparing us toAfrican men and their culture? Hell in Kuwait women aren’t allowed to look men in the face. Can’t shake men hands or give hugs. So according to you American women should live by those same standards. Get real. Stop makin excuses for being militant, angry, mad, and mean. I see why “dating out” is the focus of this site. Maybe u can find a white sucker to put up with that attitude and drama, because blk men aren’t signing up for the bs. I see why y’all single.

          • GeekMommaRants

            I said it was disrespectful, but perhaps you get hugs and kisses. If your ego is made of stone, please continue!

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Silvia-Squirre/100001367282439 Silvia Squirre

            Look, your same BS is repeated by loser white guys with Asian fetishes. “We like Asians because you white women are angry militant feminists.” I lived in Asia for almost a decade – the majority of Asian fetish artists are pathetic losers who can’t score a date here. It’s obvious who is angry here, it’s not us.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Muthapukkin-Tinney/100001244269956 Anthony Muthapukkin Tinney

        Very little is surprising when it comes to 30 years of open misandry against black men.

    • MLS2698

      We are not ALL angry. But I have to admit, my ” serious face ” does have an advantage for me. I’m not a really social person, so it keeps the people who like drama and bull-ish away. No, I’m not saying I dislike people, but my ” normal ” is different from most, and I don’t waste time entertaining dysfunction and ignorance. I have lots to smile about, but can I smile when I want to, not on a command?

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Muthapukkin-Tinney/100001244269956 Anthony Muthapukkin Tinney

        And you know,that`s your right!No one has the right to make you do anything against your will.

    • Miyo K.

      Be Quiet! Black men harass and stalk Black women in public like they are h*rny dogs and then they act surprised at the unpleasant reaction. Come on, you all. Don’t fall for this guy’s explanation. He is doing nothing but making you (Black women) responsible for men’s behavior, because just like a Black man, he doesn’t know how to be accountable for himself.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Muthapukkin-Tinney/100001244269956 Anthony Muthapukkin Tinney

        Excuse me? Where in my statement did i say it was o.k to harass women?That`s WRONG!!What i`m suggesting is that a guy that says that might,just might be trying to encourage you to go through your day with a smile on your face and face the world with a positive attitude,it just might help.And the comment about not being accountable,simply a shaming tactic directed to a man you know NOTHING about.

        • Miyo K.

          Why would a strange man on the street feel the need to encourage a random woman to go through her day with a smile and a positive attitude? Do men do the same for other men? How does that man even know what is going on in the life of a random woman who he saw on the street or elsewhere?

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Muthapukkin-Tinney/100001244269956 Anthony Muthapukkin Tinney

            To answer your first question:Maybe there are men in this world kind-hearted enough to impart some positivity to a woman he dosen`t know.To the second question:No.To the third question:He dosen`t,but a kind world might actually help.

            • Miyo K.

              1. I didn’t ask you what a man can be kind enough to do. I asked you WHY a man would feel the need to do such a thing.

              2. If men don’t do the same thing to other men, then why do they do it to women?

              3. If a strange man doesn’t know what is going on in a random woman’s life, why would he assume she needs a ‘kind word’?

              From what I gather, you all simply think that a woman not smiling means that something is wrong and that it is your job to fix it.

    • Rosetta Stone

      I hear you but as I said on another post, you do not know what is going on in that woman’s life at that moment. She probably isn’t smiling because at that moment she has nothing to smile about. Sorry to say this but…its not about you and how you feel about it. A woman’s existence is not to make you feel comfortable. We do not wake up in the morning saying “let me smile (even if i don’t want to) just so i can make the men around me feel a certain way.”

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Muthapukkin-Tinney/100001244269956 Anthony Muthapukkin Tinney

        I get that,but,that works both ways.So for example on this site plenty of blk women spewed hatred about blk men that don`t date blk women.Why?Because a MAN`S existence is not to make blk/w feel comfortable.We do not wake up in the morning saying “let me date a blk /w(even if he don`t want to)just so he can make the blk/w around him feel a certain way.Does that sound fair?It does to me.

        • Rosetta Stone

          You’re free to date who you want. Just like a woman is free to not smile if she chooses to.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Muthapukkin-Tinney/100001244269956 Anthony Muthapukkin Tinney

            I agree.

        • Rosetta Stone

          Idk where some of you are from but where I’m from, I don’t see women of any race walking around with smiles on their face, unless they have a reason to. When did this become a blk girl thing?

          • ohemma afia

            thats wat im thinking…im from new york….no one smiles except the tourists.. when did this become a racial gender thing… Back in my clubbing days even if the club is racially diverse, often times you would see black men standing on the wall “mean mugging”…. i never ever equated that to an angry black men stereotype and must women dont…. why is it so in this case…

            • Rosetta Stone

              Exactly. Im from NY as well.

  • Danielle

    I think it’s rather big-headed to assume that the guys that simply say ‘smile’ are ‘hitting on you’… and this whole page is ridiculous why would you encourage rudeness to someone that would appear to have good intentions. Sure you could jump to the they-don’t-know-my-life argument, but it’s really not that deep… i mean he just said smile.

    • Miyo K.

      No, it is RUDE for a man to COMMAND a woman to smile. The man ENCOURAGED rude behavior when he decided to IMPOSE HIMSELF onto a strange woman. It is not ‘big-headed’ for women to assume that a man is hitting on her when he tells her to smile when that is the experience of nearly all women who have been told to smile!

      • Danielle

        I think you’re overreacting a tad bit. I’d hardly call it a command! All this talk about ‘IMPOSING HIMSELF’ geez louise I think you should just chill out and not be so defensive about it. There’s worse things in life – me personally,(and call me crazy) i take it more like a ‘cheer up’ kind of thing more than a ‘i want to get into your pants’ situation and if you feel violated by it, which is the impression you’re giving off then there are more efficient ways of getting your point across than being rude.

        • MIYO K.

          :Call it what you want, but it certainly is a command to have a stranger tell you to smile and then go on to have no other dialogue with you.

          :Even if there are ‘worse things in life’ it doesn’t change the fact that most women do not like to have strange men in public tell them to smile.

          :Why would a strange man want to ‘cheer up’ a random woman on the street? What business is it of his that a woman isn’t happy and why does he feel the need to change HER disposition which has nothing to do with him?

          :Who are you to tell someone how to deal with rude men on the street? It is rude for a man to tell a woman to smile, so the response he receives in turn will be rude.

          You can say what you want, but don’t be dismissive of what other people are saying and try to shut down the conversation because something isn’t as bothersome to you.

          • Danielle

            If a person says ‘smile’ and then ‘[goes] on to have no other dialogue with you’ how is that hitting on you? It’s also just ridiculous because it’s not just men that do it to people, old people and women do it all the time and not (i’m sure) because they have perverse intentions, but because whoever it is looks plain miserable and if you’re having a bad day or just don’t feel like smiling then don’t, but don’t presume to know the intentions of every person that tells someone to smile.

            • MIYO K.

              :For a lot of men, telling a woman to smile is their way of trying to engage her in to flirting, that is how.

              :It’s not ridiculous because 99% of women who are told to smile are done so by men. This isn’t about what women and old people do. Stay on topic.

              :It doesn’t matter if a stranger ‘looks plain miserable’, because that is none of anyone’s business

              :I AM NOT PRESUMING TO KNOW THE INTENTIONS OF EVERY PERSON WHO TELLS SOMEONE TO SMILE. AND EVEN IF I DID, IT DOESN’T MATTER BECAUSE A STRANGER HAS NO BUSINESS TELLING OTHER PEOPLE TO SMILE. A STRANGE MAN TELLING A WOMAN TO SMILE IS HIM being presumptuous about her mood.

              • Danielle

                I brought up women and OAPs because I’m saying that if you don’t think anyone else is flirting then its wrong to assume that men are. Any who you deal with it your own way. I just don’t take it so personally. Maybe grow thicker skin

                • MIYO K.

                  No, it is not wrong to assume that when most women will and can tell you that having men tell them to smile is almost always a way of him flirting. What don’t you get about that? Just because YOU don’t take it ‘personally’ it doesn’t mean everyone else’s experiences are invalid. There is no need to ‘grow thicker skin’. HOW ABOUT MEN JUST STOP TELLING RANDOM WOMEN TO SMILE!

            • http://www.facebook.com/people/Silvia-Squirre/100001367282439 Silvia Squirre

              I find it f’in g annoying when someone does that, so yes, by not responding to a command they are getting my “real feelings”

  • kALY

    Sometimes, you might only be squinting against the sun, other times you might be grieving! How dare he presume that nothing could be so serious in a stranger’s lfe.I
    am beautiful woman and I love good man…..inter racial romance is my dream… so I
    joined —blackwhitePlanet.С0M—–it’s where to- connect with beautiful and excellent people! I agree; just start a conversation by saying hello, because trying to be cute or clever at the wrong time might get your head bitten off. I like the snarl. I’d add a head spin, eye rolling, tongue flicking
    and gutteral groans so he’d think he encountered an exorcism.

    • MLS2698

      JACKASS!

      • Yah

        i agree. jackass roach for real. this FOOL seriously thinks he’s so important that some dumb smile comment from a complete stranger should take precedent over all of the things that you may be thinking about at any given moment. dude, give it a break. nobody needs to acknowledge ignorant fool males like you who make ignorant foolish comments. and quit cyber-harrassing everybody on here who thinks your comment is a boatload of bunk. cuz it is.

  • dbatt001

    This shyt happens all the time to me and its so wack. I only thought this happened to me .

    “Surely, that will let him know that not only do you have no intention of smiling, you will not be interacting with him on any other level either”

    ….exactly! this is the wackest way to “holla” ever and it is particularly annoying to me.

  • gee

    No one has EVER said that to me. Do you know why? Because I don’t walk around with a mean look on my face. Like I’ve got a big chip on my shoulder. I believe it’s proper social etiquette to smile when passing if you make eye contact. It’s a non-verbal way of saying hello. Sounds like some of you need to lighten up.

    • dbatt001

      missing the point of the article.Most guys use that lame shyt as a pick up line and its not cute. Of course I will smile when passing by someone but when Im not even paying attention to you, wrapped up in my own thoughts and not even worrying about smiling, your gunna hit me with that just to get my attention? please… and how do I know its a pick up line, because they always want to further the conversation after. It pisses me the hell off.

      • gee

        Please stop being a stereotype…angry black woman. I can tell by the tone of that comment that you have a bad attitude. Hellooooo..that’s what men do, hit on women. If you aren’t interested politely say ” no thanks”.

        • GeekMommaRants

          NO! Culturally speaking if you notice other African communities men do not speak to women unless they know each other. This is respect for both men and women.

        • get real

          Thank you.

        • GeekMommaRants

          So do men shrink if they said hello? Everyone responses kindly and politely to a HELLO! HELLO?

        • dbatt001

          the fact that they are hitting on me is not the problem. The problem is they think im dumb enough to think that lame line is charming . I respect originality. Period.

    • get real

      Thank You Gee. You and Sunshine continue to have this personna. You two are the women that us men are checking for.

    • Miyo K.

      “I believe it’s proper social etiquette to smile when passing if you make eye contact.”

      Smiling at someone when you pass them can be okay. A man telling a woman to smile (for him) is NOT okay. No one here needs to ‘lighten up’. It ‘sounds’ like you don’t believe women to be entitled to their range of emotions.

  • YoYo Marie

    I get this ALL the time and each time my reaction is different. I go from giving the super cheesy fake smile to the straight-face “I am smiling” to telling people that smiling makes my face hurt. I think I’ve told someone that my smile muscles didn’t work lol.

  • Ms_Sunshine9898

    Why not just smile? I do? Why turn it into a “feminist, you don’t tell me what to do, why I gotta smile” thing? Sometimes people are just trying to be nice and put a smile on your face and add a little humor in your life, because they probably think you’re a beautiful woman who would look much better with a nice smile on her face. Smh, people try to be nice, and of course someone has to turn it into something negative. . .

    • dbatt001

      please, all it is is a wack a$$ pick up line guys use. … I know this from extensive experience,,its irritating

      • Ms_Sunshine9898

        it is wack. the point is,just because a man tells you to smile doesn’t mean he’s tryin to holler and some men really are trying to put a smile on your face. I’m just saying, like why be a bytch about because it’s corny instead of just having a sense of humor and smiling. . .

        • get real

          Thank you. “I get this all the time” “I hate this”. Etc. These women are basically admitting to walking around with attitudes, frowned up like Mr. T ready to yank someones head off. If a man says “blk women have anger and attitude problems” they scream bloody murder. Now if a man simply says “smile baby girl” he’s the corny enemy. These women are admitting to the “crazy angry” stereotype. Not all dudes are trying to holla when they say smile after seeing that mean mug on your face.

          • Miyo K.

            Do men tell other men, “Smile, baby boy?”

            • get real

              Men telling a woman equals opposite sex. Men telling men is something else. What a crappy response or reply. Wth.

              • Miyo K.

                It is only a crappy response because you can’t answer the question. YOUR response doesn’t even begin to address what I asked.

              • Miyo K.

                By the way, it was a YES OR NO question.

        • Miyo K.

          Eh, yes it does mean he is trying to ‘holla’ and there is no reason for a strange man to try and put a smile on a random woman’s face. DO MEN DO THIS TO OTHER MEN?

          SMH! You think women who don’t like to be told to smile are being a ‘b*tch’ and have no sense of humor? Wow, just wow! You go ahead and keep allowing men to have control over you, telling you what expressions to wear on your face for their own selfish reasons.

          • Ms_Sunshine9898

            Girl get over yourself, you are thinking about it way too deep, it’s not even that serious. You either smile or you mean mug a man because he jokingly tells you to smile, whatever. . .

            • MIYO K.

              :How about you get over yourself. Maybe you are the one who needs to do a little more thinking about why you think it is okay to have strange men dictate to you what kind of expressions you can wear on your face when you are in public, minding your business.

              :No woman has to ‘either smile or mean mug because a man jokingly tells her to smile’. That woman can do whatever she wants with her facial expression. She doesn’t have to choose between two.

        • GeekMommaRants

          Why does anyone have a right to order a stranger around? What if we asked, “You graduate college?” I think this is an insulting and gold-digger thing to say, so I would never said it. I think you are a man, never a woman.

          • Ms_Sunshine9898

            The fact that you look at it as ordering around over a simple comment such as smile makes me wonder if you have some issues with men. second thinking open mindedly as a woman doesn’t make me a man. . . .

            • GeekMommaRants

              Spot-on! Yes I have an issue with any male who is not civilized. Having lived all over the world, no man, not even in the Arab would order a strange unknown woman about. So, this is no human male behavior. Our community standards need to higher than this.

            • http://twitter.com/docbndgrl9113 Keesha (Киша)

              THANK YOU!

        • http://twitter.com/docbndgrl9113 Keesha (Киша)

          To Ms_Sunshine and get real, I absolutely agree. The guy that told me to smile kept on walking, so he obviously wasn’t trying to use it as a pick up line. He probably just noticed that I didn’t look too happy.

          • MIYO K.

            Your one experience doesn’t negate the experience of several other women who have said that men have flirted with them by telling her to smile.

            • http://twitter.com/docbndgrl9113 Keesha (Киша)

              I never said that my experience negated everyone else’s experience. Please read.

    • MLS2698

      I think I have a beautiful smile but my face is misleading ( serious). Do I need to smile just because I am crossing the street, making groceries, riding the light-rail? I don’t really care for the ” smile command, ” and as a older woman, kind of get a little irritated at a stranger assuming I’m not happy or friendly just because I don’t look like I was just released from a mental ward with a ninety-day supply of uppers. My best smile is lots of teeth, my apple shaped cheeks up all the way up, but I don’t give up my best for just anything. IJS

      • get real

        No u don’t have to smile at all times but do you have to have that I hate world fown on your face? I can’t believe the comments here. The first time a man calls you angry you kill the guy, yet most of you admit to the stereotype. Wth??? You women need a mental evaulation.

        • ANTMilf

          Why don’t you mind your own business and go worry about more important things!

          • get real

            Why don’t you stop living up to every negative angry blk woman stereotype then get mad when your called as much.

            • http://www.facebook.com/people/Silvia-Squirre/100001367282439 Silvia Squirre

              Dude, please. I’m white, and I’ve had this “request” spit in my face by white men almost all my life. I was never angry when I received the grin command, however you seem to interpret ANYONE who doesn’t smile at you as being hostile and angry. Why? Is it all about you? Do YOU smile at all times? Are you that idiot who commands what a complete stranger does with their face? Why are you afraid of women who don’t smile at you? This issue really says more about you than about us. Think about it.

              • http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins

                amen,sister!

        • Miyo K.

          Who are you to dictate to people what kind of expressions they can wear on their face? I can’t believe your comments, but then again I can, because you probably believe in gender roles.

        • Rosetta Stone

          I hear you but as I said on another post, you do not know what is going on in that womans life at that moment. She probably isnt smiling because at that moment she has nothing to smile about. Sorry to say this but…its not about you and how you feel about it. A womans existence is not to make you feel comfortable. We do not wake up in the saying “let me smile (even if i dont want to) jsut so ican make the men around us feel a certain way.

          • Rosetta Stone

            excuse the typos

          • get real

            Why are u women making this a “I’m not smiling because you (a man) tells me so”? Get the stupid dumb angry blk woman frown off of you face. Gosh. Stop with the “maybe I’m having a day” excuse. Read the comments your are the only one making this “bad day” excuse. Everybody is saying I’m not smiling because I’m not friendly or because I don’t want.

            • Rosetta Stone

              when someone is telling you something you are supposed to listen. not tell me how im thinking or what i am not saying. I’ll say it again…You do not know what is going on in that particular woman’s life at that moment. She isnt smiling because she either doesnt want to or maybe she is going through something and has no reason to smile at that moment. Why is this so hard to understand? lol

            • Rosetta Stone

              These reactions are the TRUTH about how some women feel. respect that. stop trying to read into something that isnt there. Just listen and take heed.

              • http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins

                i loved everything that you said.

            • MLS2698

              I never have bad days…….this is my face……and it don’t smile all day!

            • GeekMommaRants

              You are spot-on! So a woman’s reaction means nothing to you? Point taken!

            • FromUR2UB

              Yes, please, “get real”. I once had some stupid man tell me to smile while I was traveling to my mother’s funeral. My natural response was a glare, because although I wasn’t aware that all the stress I was feeling showed on my face, I didn’t appreciate someone who had never laid eyes on me and knew nothing about me, assuming that this was my normal and probably about nothing. After he had the nerve to follow that with, “It can’t be that bad”, I told him that I was on my way to bury my mother, and it felt that bad. Then I watched the look of embarrassment pass over his face. Then I said, because he looked old enough to have experienced some of that, “Surely, you understand that life is not all ups?” He apologized, then minded his own business.

              • http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins

                mmhmm!

          • MLS2698

            Spit that language, Rosetta Stone!

          • Miyo K.

            Exactly. Men tell women to smile for their own selfish reasons. They don’t care about how that woman is feeling. They want her to smile because they have been conditioned to think that a woman not smiling is bad behavior.

        • MLS2698

          Really, I could care less what ANY man says; I’m at that point in my life. And very sane……..no evaluation needed.

      • Miyo K.

        “I don’t give up my best for just anything”

        I really like this statement.

        • MLS2698

          Everyone knows that a smile is the international sign for everything being OK. Should I show this to everyone? Absolutely not! I’m glad you understand. Miyo K, I’m starting to think that the women who want to hit the ” man lottery ” are more likely to show all of their teeth like a race horse, at all times. SMH

          • Miyo K.

            They aren’t getting it, MLS2698.

      • Ms_Sunshine9898

        I don’t look at it as a command more so than I look at it as a suggestion. “Put a smile on your face, it’ll make the world a better place.” I think y’all are just taking it a little too far and making it more serious than it has to be . . .

        • http://twitter.com/docbndgrl9113 Keesha (Киша)

          I absolutely agree with you. Many of the people are taking this way too far. Like I said in another comment, you can either smile or ignore him. Why get angry or snarl at him? What good would that do?

          • MIYO K.

            A woman doesn’t have to either smile or ignore him. She can do whatever she sees fit.

    • Miyo K.

      MEN TELLING WOMEN TO SMILE IS A FORM OF SEXISM! Men DON’T go around telling other men to smile! Heck, men will make sure to even avoid eye contact with other men, but will go out of their way to stare down a woman. Being ‘nice’ would be to make someone laugh, not command them to arrange their facial expressions and feel emotions that they do not so that the other person can feel good about themselves!

      • get real

        Oh now I see your just a crazy blk miliant feminist. Psycho. Its 2012 and your still walking around like its 1960’s feminist movement.

        • Miyo K.

          Womp! Womp! Womp! You are right, it is 2012 and women have the RIGHT TO NOT SMILE AT RANDOM MEN IN PUBLIC!

        • GeekMommaRants

          Crazy black militant feminist are EVERYWHERE!!!

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Silvia-Squirre/100001367282439 Silvia Squirre

          Yeah, right. Get yourself a Stepford wife, they smile all the time, no matter what.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins

        i love your comments.

        • Alohilani

          Lol, you do? Most people here hate them.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins

            i’m not like most people. :p

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins

        i’m following you because i find your views to be similar to mine.

    • IllyPhilly

      I’m with you. I was reading some of these comments and LOL. “I ain’t smiling cuz that ni66a ain’t payin’ my bills.” damn, is it that serious??

    • KJ23

      I smile a lot, and a year or two ago I wouldn’t have understood this article, until someone very close to me was murdered and I was rushing away from my job to go identify his body with his family and a guy told me to smile. I felt like uppercutting this sucker. I understand that people want to be nice, but when you’re dealing with something serious or a tragedy, sometimes if a person look like they have something going on, just leave them alone.

      • notyouagain

        I agree with you on the emergency part and sorry that happened to you. Please don’t let it keep you down and keep smiling no matter what. That helped ease some of my pain when my parents died. People kept asking me how are you still smiling and i would say no matter what this world does to me, no one can take my smile away and i meant that.
        But when i was younger people men and women would tell me to smile…even my mother…i said some of the same things these women are saying now….its my face i will do what want or my fave i would look crazy like the joker always smiling. Oh but one day i caught my face as i was walking past the mirror and everyone was right…it wasn’t that i wasn’t smiling i had a straight up frown on my face with the danger on brow furrows and all. Every since that day i keep a pleasant look on my face not unless something is really wrong. Ladies this is where the angry black woman complex comes from. If it doesn’t pertain to you move on and if it does correct it or don’t but not every man that tells you to smile is trying to holler. And please don’t follow this stupid advice that will set us back in the workplace family and so on

      • Ladybug94

        Amen. Well said.

      • Ms_Sunshine9898

        The sad part is, men aren’t telling you women to do something out right vulgar. They only say smile, and of course some women go apesh!t at the mere suggestion! While your situation is unique, we’re discussing cases on a general basis, and while that may not have been the best thing to say at that moment, just keep in mind, someone telling you to smile is only trying to be cheerful, not read your whole life story in a simple glance. . . .

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins

      why is it ok for a complete,male(always the case with me) stranger to tell me to smile? i think that it’s rude and presumptuous. i prefer,”hello? how are you?” that shows courtesy and respect. and,a rule o’ thumb about flirting:if a woman shows no interest in you,don’t flirt with her.

    • RLM

      Because it is a “feminist” issue. There’s nothing nice about it; it’s offensive on many levels. Do you think these same men go around telling other MEN to smile? Of course not. Why do you think that is, Li’l Miss Sunshine?

      • Ms_Sunshine9898

        Ummmm . . How about you let it go now? It’s not that serious and if you prefer to think about it way more deep than is after I stated and restated my opinion, then you have some issues with not only having the last word but also with attempt at humor from strangers. . . #stilltalkingaboutitweekslater #psychomuch . .

  • ANTMilf

    Guys telling me to smile makes me have a meaner look on my face because that s**t is irritating! These guys don’t know why she has a mad look on her face, could be she’s tired, she’s angry at her man or other people, she got fired, someone in her family died tragically, stop wasting your time telling us to smile to please your a$$ and go worry about more important things in the world like the economy and gang violence! They only person makes me smile is my daughter!

    • get real

      Plz. What a bunch of excuses. 9x out of 10 you got out of bed mad with a scowl on your face. Just mad at the world all day everyday. As soon as someone stereotype you, you wanna scream “stop stereotyping blk women”. D.L Hughley said something like this in that article that MN had posted and y’all ate him alive, only to prove him right 2 weeks later.

      • ANTMilf

        Excuse me sweetie, I’m going out work, walking my daughter to school, and going to school, I’m not gonna smile to make strangers happy, just taking care of my child and getting my rent and bills paid! I only smile for pictures, my daughter, my fiance, my friends and family members or when I find something funny on the streets, that’s when I smile, I’m not gonna because some dude want my phone number! And as for attitudes, just because a woman don’t smile don’t mean she has an attitude problem. People need to leave others alone and mind their business!

        • get real

          Y’all are really beating this “men say smile because they want my number” drum to death. I’ve told a few women to smile and I didn’t want to know their name let alone her number. Just tired of y’all walking around looking like Tim Mcveigh in the face ready to bomb a building. You crazy angry blk woman.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Muthapukkin-Tinney/100001244269956 Anthony Muthapukkin Tinney

            You know your beating your head against a wall here.Listen,this is a site designed for BLACK WOMEN.So the blk man`s opinion dose`nt count for sh*t.So expessing your opinion ad infinum will only make your head hurt.Say what gotta say,then keep ti movin`,you`ll maintain your sanity better that way,i know.

            • MIYO K.

              A MAN’S OPINION DOESN’T ‘COUNT’ WHEN HE THINKS HE KNOWS BETTER ABOUT A WOMAN’S EXPERIENCE THAN SHE DOES OR ARGUES THAT WOMEN DO WHAT HE WANTS.

              • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Muthapukkin-Tinney/100001244269956 Anthony Muthapukkin Tinney

                Here`s one thing i a MAN do want,and that`s not to correspond with YOU,in case you miss that point the last time i said it.

                • Alohilani

                  But you responded anyway.

                  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Muthapukkin-Tinney/100001244269956 Anthony Muthapukkin Tinney

                    Yes,and that matters to you because?……

                • Alohilani

                  And who cares what you want, a man want!

                  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Muthapukkin-Tinney/100001244269956 Anthony Muthapukkin Tinney

                    So what your saying is blk women are the only one`s who`s rights are to be respected?

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Silvia-Squirre/100001367282439 Silvia Squirre

            Hah! I knew it. Our boy is a “smile commander”!

            • MIYO K.

              I knew it too. That is why he is so defensive about women saying they don’t like being told to smile.

      • GeekMommaRants

        Ya know, that serious expression is thinking about the code I’m writing or all the tasks I have to complete that day. Strangers should have no (non-emergency) expectation of engagement.

      • Alexandria

        Stop talking as if you know what people are going through. You have no idea. You just assume that the woman is angry for no reason. have you ever stopped to think their is a valid reason behind it? NO, you did not. Because like D.L. hughley you are a misogynist and uneducated fool who thinks the world should revolve around you and your feelings. And you keep throwing up the “angry black woman” stereotype which I don’t mind. I’m black, a woman and angry that people like you exist. And I have every right to feel that way.But if If I used you as an example that all black men think women exist for the sole purpose of pleasing them, would you be offended? If so why? How many men do you tell to smile? DO you think if you told a man to do so, he would do it?

  • d

    ahhhh I thought I was the only one! that is soo annoying, just let me live!

  • DMayaT

    Truthfully – we don’t smile regularly. There are so many ‘mean-mugged looks’ (a term told to me by MEN that they use) – many women are either pre-judged in their demeanor/mood because of it. (Seriously – I’m tired of being considered an angry black woman…) Further, as my husband put it, “..And then women wonder why they’re single? An angry look is not very approachable on any level; Would any woman approach an angry-looking man to strike up a conversation?”

    Sadly, I get strange looks if I AM smiling, or folks think I’m crazy, daft, or up to something. I know I am not cute when I have an angry/sour/upset face – I appreciate someone telling me to smile, it indicates that I must not be showing my best face. (And if it is a pickup line, so what? Smile, thank them for the reminder and keep it moving!)

    • Miyo K.

      A woman can keep it moving without smiling or thanking the stranger. No one is obligated to interact with people who they do not want to, especially if that interaction makes her feel uncomfortable. Your husband is just spouting more patriarchal, sexist BS when he says, “…And then women wonder why they’re single?”

  • Melissa

    In all seriousness I thought I was the only one. What was also going thru my mind as I was clicking thru was that she didn’t mention when we here the “why u look so mean” that has got to be the most irritating thing a an can say to me. But my pet peeve hands down is staring. Damn speak say hello, hi or whatever don’t just stare. I look down at myself like what the hell is wrong, and want to say or u ok. Speak I don’t bite

    • Melissa

      Oops she did mention the why u look so mean comment

  • Nisha

    Fortunately I don’t get that stupid crap anymore.

  • ieshapatterson

    i’ts rare when people tell me to smile,but when they do,i cross my eyes and make a stupid face,and say in a high pitch voice “how’s that for a smile??”.you know what they say,ask a stupid question,you get a stupid answer.

  • sabrina

    …the fake smile is my signature move lol

  • Miyo K.

    I was called ‘evil’ a few weeks ago when I gave a hard stare to a guy who told me to smile when I walked by the kiosk he was standing at in the mall. Him calling me evil only added to my annoyance because that day I was harassed like crazy by BM. I walked back to where he was and let him know that he doesn’t get to tell me to smile.

    Another time I told a man, “Don’t tell me what to do!” after he commanded me to smile. You know this fool had the nerve to be upset!

    Most times I just ignore men telling me to smile or men who say anything to me on the street that is not appropriate. Sometimes I’ll even go as far as to ask the guy if he says the same thing to other guys.

    • get real

      Wow. You better not ever question men when they say a lot of blk women are crazy. Your prime example.

      • Miyo K.

        Oh please! Random Black men commanding me to smile and me not complying or standing up for myself makes me ‘crazy’? LOL. Get out of here with that mess!

        • get real

          “Command” you? Its not an order Sgt. Slaughter. Stay mean and mad at the world. You crazy blk agry woman. Doesn’t bother me one bit.

          • Miyo K.

            Yes, it most certainly is an order, but what would you know? You aren’t a woman!
            Your ‘crazy black, angry woman’ rhetoric doesn’t bother me one bit either. Save it for someone who doesn’t know any better.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Silvia-Squirre/100001367282439 Silvia Squirre

            You sound like an angry black man. Maybe you should smile more.

          • ohemma afia

            most of the time when i dont smile it is because im usually lost in my thoughts with work, school, family etc.although i cant speak for all women i think that is the consensus…most of the time i usually just ignore men who tell me to smile and keep it moving…. my question to u is when did not smiling equate to angry black women… this is a genuine question… im trying to understand this angry black phenomenon

  • Miss D

    The next time a guy tells me to smile, I’m going to cross my eyes and show all my teeth. The reaction would be hilarious. Leave him thinking “Ummm maybe that’s why she don’t smile”…LOL.

  • FromUR2UB

    Evidently, this same idiot gets around. Sometimes, you might only be squinting against the sun, other times you might be grieving! How dare he presume that nothing could be so serious in a stranger’s lfe. I agree; just start a conversation by saying hello, because trying to be cute or clever at the wrong time might get your head bitten off.

    • dbatt001

      ahh i love it!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins

      lol!

No thanks