Do You Really Need To Beware? 7 Dating Red Flags That Don’t Have To Be Red Flags

November 19, 2012  |  
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Once something is deemed a “red flag,” it becomes part of the Bible of love; women believe it must be considered at all times.While red flags are good to be aware of, not every person and situation is the same. There are exceptions to the rules and if you’re not open to that possibility, you might shut out a lot of good guys. These red flags don’t always have to be red flags.

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A recent breakup

You’re told to be wary of the guy that’s only a couple months single because he may not be emotionally available yet and you might just be a rebound, or left cleaning up the last woman’s mess.

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Sometimes time doesn’t matter

Go with your gut: does the guy’s head seem to be clear and does he seem to be totally mentally present with you? Does he seem happy? Stable? Is he able to speak about his ex without anger or sadness? Some people heal faster from breakups, and sometimes a man was just never that in love with someone, so letting go was easy. All you need to know is if it feels he is ready to commit again.

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He cuts the date short

You suggest going somewhere else for a drink or dessert after dinner, or taking a walk, and after what seemed like a great date, he turns your after-date date down. You’re told to beware because maybe he has a wife/girlfriend/booty call to get to. Or maybe he’s just not that into you.

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Maybe he doesn’t want to ruin the moment

Guys know the art of quitting while ahead too—of leaving you wanting more. If the date really felt like it went well, it’s possible the guy just wants to leave things at that for now. Also, many guys know if they stay too long with a woman they’re into, they might try to sleep with her. If a guy really likes you, he may be trying to control himself!

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He invites you up

He was the perfect gentleman on the date, you just had a sweet kiss goodnight in the car, and then he…invites you up??? Suddenly you’re questioning his intentions. Was all this good behavior just so he could try and get you into bed?

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He got caught up in the moment

Sometimes the chemistry is just so strong, it’s sad to end the date. If the guy wasn’t handsy or inappropriate on the date, or making sexual inuendos left and right, it’s possible he just wanted to talk to you until the wee hours of the morning. If he politely accepts your rejection of his invite, his intentions were probably pure.

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He doesn’t tell you much about himself

He is the dream man, asking you questions about yourself, taking an interest in your passions, laughing at your jokes, wanting to get to know you. But just one problem; he’s barely said a word about himself. He seems sweet, smart and funny based on his reactions to what you tell him, but you actually know nothing about the guy. You’re told to beware because maybe what you could learn about him would be upsetting.

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Men can be private

Men are much more private than women are. They usually take longer to trust people and to let people in. He could be asking you so much about yourself to gauge if you’re someone he wants to share himself with. This is something that some guys have to do before they open up. Don’t run just yet unless it seems like there is a body in his trunk, or a wedding ring hiding in his pocket.

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He takes a call

You’re told that a man who is serious about finding love turns his phone off or at least ignores his phone during a date. You’re told a guy that can’t leave his phone for a mere two hours must be a workaholic or even worse, not that into you.

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Some men are on call

The nature of some jobs require a man to be available 24/7, projects cannot move on without their green light or last minute decisions fall on their shoulders constantly. So long as a man explains this to you, and expresses his regret that he has to take a call during the date (and doesn’t sneak off into a dark corner to have that “business call”) give him a break.

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He gets a little drunk

You’re warned that if a guy drinks too much on a first date that he either lacks confidence, or has a drinking problem because he couldn’t lay off the alcohol for just a few hours.

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Anybody can get nervous or over-order

Everybody has made the mistake of ordering just one drink too many, or having their intoxication sneak up on them. Getting a little drunk may have been a complete accident. If he was drinking to gain confidence, well, can you honestly say you’ve never done that? So long as he remained appropriate, kept his hands to himself, didn’t cause a scene and get kicked out of the bar or try to drive home drunk, give the guy a second chance. And consider yourself lucky: usually a person’s true colors come out while intoxicated.

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He’s too sweet

He brought you flowers, he arranged for the most romantic table in the restaurant, he texted you twice before the date to confirm and tell you he’s excited to see you. He is playing no games, and you are a little freaked out thinking he’s desperate or clingy.

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Some men just know what they want

Not every man that actually treats you right is desperate or clingy. Go with your gut again on this one: does the guy seem unstable, unhappy and incapable of finding a woman? If not, then he might just be a great guy that really likes you.

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