Why Did He Stop Calling? Maybe Because Of One Of These Reasons
Ever date a guy and everything is going great, and then POOF! He’s gone? He stopped calling, answering your text messages…and he even “unfriended” you on Facebook. You thought you hit it off so well, yet another one bites the dust. Right when you think you might have found The One, something changes and you’re left wondering why you’re not finding the love you feel you deserve.
Men can’t love a woman that they don’t respect, just as woman can’t love a man that she doesn’t respect either. Many things go into gaining respect, and some of these things are different for men and women. For example, a woman may not respect a man who doesn’t have a job, because the man is thought to be the provider, while a woman without a job may not be a deal breaker for a man. The best way to earn respect is to respect yourself first, but if you’re still confused as to why he has suddenly lost interest, consider these reasons why a man may have lost respect for you…and therefore his interest.
1. You Had Sex Too Soon
While there is no set time frame when a man and woman should have sex, many men will tell you that if they have sex with a woman on the first date, he’ll think she has sex on the first date with men all the time…and that might cause him to lose respect for her from the beginning. This doesn’t mean that he’ll stop sleeping with her, but it may mean that he won’t commit to her.
Now don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of men who are evolved enough to know that sex on the first date doesn’t mean she’s promiscuous. Grownups do grown-up things, and if the mood hits, then why not go for it?! Many a long-term relationship has been born from first date sex. But if you find that you tend to have sex with potential new boo’s on the first date or VERY early on REGULARLY, you might want to try a 30 or 60 day rule just to see if the guy sticks around a little longer. This doesn’t mean that if you make him wait, you’ll find love – but just try it. You’ll get to know each other better and if it doesn’t work out, you will have kept the goodies to yourself.
2. You Pull Out All of Your “Tricks” Too Soon
Okay, so you’re about to have sex for the first time with your new guy and you’re ready. You break out the lingerie, the adult videos, the toys, the duct tape, the handcuffs and a whip – all so you can put it on him! But this might freak him out. While some men will appreciate a woman who can and WILL pull out all the stops for their first rendezvous, others might be creeped out thinking she’s a freak with every man she’s had sex with – and he may estimate that to be a high number given her “experience.” This isn’t fair, and probably immature – but some men want to believe that there are some things you haven’t done that he can “teach” you. If you give him everything too soon, he may think there’s nothing left worth coming back for. Leave some things to the imagination, and play to his ego a little bit. No need to show him all your tricks upfront – give him something to look forward to.
3. Childish or Immature Behavior
Some women think it’s cute to talk in a baby voice, whine or gossip, but to most men, this is simply annoying. Unless he’s Kanye West, there’s only so much of a whiny, baby voice he can take. Speak like an adult, and leave all the petty, catty gossip to your girlfriends. Men are not attracted to women who act like little girls, so if you pout, cry, or throw tantrums when you don’t get your way, don’t expect a man to stick around for very long.
4. You’re Overly Jealous or Insecure
As I stated before, in order to gain respect, you have to respect yourself – and nothing is hotter than a woman who exudes confidence. When you are secure in yourself, you rarely have time to stalk someone else. If you find that you are the jealous type in ALL of your relationships, you have a self-esteem or insecurity issue – and no man respects that. I’m not talking about your God given women’s intuition telling you something is off. I’m talking about the woman who follows her man around looking for reasons to not trust him. If you want to slap the waitress because you think she’s looking at your man too hard, you have issues – and it’s no wonder he’s suddenly lost your phone number.
5. You Fight or Have Anger Issues
Speaking of slapping waitresses, if you go H.A.M at a moment’s notice as if you were a member of the cast of Basketball Wives, then he may think you’re crazy, let alone lose respect for you. Nothing is cute about a woman who is quick to check someone who accidentally bumped her on the train or who curses her man out when he calls her back 5 minutes late. Respect is often earned through your behavior as well, so fighting, cursing and going off on people is a sign of a woman who is out of control. Take a few anger management classes and try to conduct yourself like a lady. A true woman will hold herself in a high regard, and such behavior will be beneath her…compelling others to respect her as well.
6. You Drink or Do Drugs Excessively
Along the same lines of acting out in anger, acting out by drinking or indulging in other addictive behavior is also a sign that you don’t respect yourself, and any man worth his salt wouldn’t be caught dead with a woman who is a slobbering, bumbling drunk. If you have a substance abuse problem, there is no way you can have a healthy relationship with anyone, including yourself. Get help and make choices that are for your best well-being. You cannot have the life and love you want and deserve if you are addicted to anything other than that which serves in your best interest.
7. You’re Needy or Clingy
While most men like to feel validated, there is a difference between being “needy” and needing him. Men respect women who have other things going on outside of him and are self-sufficient and can handle their business without any help from him – yet know how make him worthy at the same time. It’s a fine balance of being an intelligent, hard-working, phenomenal woman while still allowing him to pursue you. You don’t have to be up under him all the time, or be who he wants you to be in order to hold on to him. Stop calling, texting and hounding him all day and get a life. It’s okay to let him miss you sometimes.
8. You Lie or Cheat
Being an honest person is the key to gaining respect from anyone, especially when it comes to relationships. If he feels he can’t trust you, then there’s no way he can respect you. Trust is the foundation for any real relationship, and while you can love someone you don’t trust, the relationship won’t last without it. A person with integrity will not lie or misrepresent him or herself, and cheating degrades you both – so it’s best to stay out of a relationship if you are not truly ready to be honest or faithful.
9. You Complain…ALL THE TIME
Nothing is worse than a Debbie Downer. If you find that you’re always complaining – about your weight, your job, your friends, or your life in general – then believe me when I say no man (or woman) wants to be around that. It’s especially annoying when the person complaining isn’t doing anything to change their situation. If you are unhappy with your weight, join a gym or go walking and watch what you eat. If you’re unhappy with your job, then hone your skills to find a job or a career that you’re genuinely enthused about, or update your resume and start applying elsewhere. Whatever it is, instead of complaining, take control and DO SOMETHING. A person who thrives on misery will never attract love or respect, so figure out what it is that makes you happy and go after it. Change your mindset…and you can change your life.