Don’t Be a Sucka! 9 Ways Women Use Men

56 Comments
November 13, 2012 ‐ By Brooke Dean

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While some men don’t want to settle down and claim a girlfriend, most men don’t need any “girl…friends” either. After all, what man wants to just “hang out” with a beautiful woman? That’s what his boys are for. It’s totally possible for men and women to be platonic friends, but that’s not normally how it starts.

The man is attracted to a woman, he asks her out, and they spend time together. But then somewhere along the line, said man falls into the dreaded “friend zone” – and he has no idea how he got there. He’s not sure if she’s playing hard to get, or if he’s been hoodwinked – and while he’s trying to figure it all out, the woman knows exactly what she’s doing. If you’re not sure if you’re being played for a fool, here are some signs that she just might be using you. (And indications you’re a low-key user.)

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  • AfroGoddess

    I’m guessin the writer is either an independent (single) woman, or marries to a pu$$y

    • AfroGoddess

      *married

      • IMJSANYUmad

        y cuz she aint tryna milk brothas like your ratchet self

    • The FunkyFunky Child

      So if I dont do everything for the woman Im a punk? But If I acquiesce to everything Im a punk too? I give up.

  • Kath

    There’s this one guy, no make that about three guys/friends who are pining after me, but just does not get that we will never get to that zone. So while I do ask for favors, its always on the basis that we are friends – they could have easily ask those favors of me as well. But I know that secretly they’re all hoping to get somewhere, and that’s just sneaky and borderline disgusting in my opinion. They’ll probably get it when I call to say, you know am getting married (to my type i.e.) and you’re invited.

    • BEING HONEST

      Kath. Just tell the guys they will never get you. There is no chance in hell of ever being with you. Watch how all three guys will leave you alone. But if you play dumb to their efforts, Your just as guilty as them trying to get you. In other words your lack of honesty is “borderline disgusting in my opinion.”

      • AfroGoddess

        No guy ever listens when u tell him no. Many men think they’re big willy – or jesus – they think they’ll talk, perform a few miracles and you’ll bein to like them. Sometimes I hav to breakdown and yell at a guy to get him to stop comin at me

      • Kath

        I won’t tell them crap, I owe them absolutely nothing. You honestly believe they’re unaware of this fact? They’re very much aware, but its merely selfish desires on their part that have them believing something will eventually happen. My initial comment stands. It will become VERY CLEAR when am walking down the isle with Mr. None of the three.

        • The FunkyFunky Child

          “I owe them absolutely nothing.”

          Jeez. Woman are just ruthless sometimes. As a young man all I’m taking away from this is I ought to stay with my girlfriend regardless Because This is what else is out there, I don’t wanna see it. If you think they’re really your friend and they do favors for you don’t you owe them something?? Can’t you just be a kind person and stop making them waste there money and time? Why is that so much to ask? I don’t understand. Let them go.

    • http://twitter.com/JohnnyACE562 GRAND MASTER SEN$Ei {{-_-}}™

      Yeah, because a guy wanting to be with you is disgusting.

      Perhaps you prefer women? {{-_-}}

    • IMJSANYUmad

      typical mut

  • SweetMay

    Simping ain’t easy…

  • Kaori

    Yes, I wouldn’t turn down the chance of friendship unless I knew it would not work out.

    • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

      Not the friendship. I’m talking about keeping someone who you know wants more in the friend zone so that you could take advantage of their romantic interest in you in order to gain money, gifts, and favors. You KNOW you don’t want to be with them in that capacity and you KNOW the only reason they are agreeing to be your “friend” is to one day have a shot with you.

      • Kaori

        I guess it is just different for me because I don’t accept money, gifts, and favors from people, especially from people where my feelings are not mutual. It is only the fault of the person who chooses to stick around and let themselves be used.

        • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

          Well then this story doesn’t apply to you at all.

          • Kaori

            I don’t use men, but I have experienced men trying to do nice things for me in order to lead to more than being friends.

            • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

              And had you allowed them you would have been using them.

              • Kath

                No fool, she’d have merely been accepting his gifts.

                • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

                  NO FOOL!!! You don’t take gifts from someone who is giving it to you in the hopes of taking the relationship further than YOU want. That makes you a sh*tty human being and probably a broke hoodrat.

                  Keep it classy

  • ChigozieNdubuisiUzoma

    thank you!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Muthapukkin-Tinney/100001244269956 Anthony Muthapukkin Tinney

    Being a “gentleman” is sista-speak for “chump”.She dosen`t see b/m as humans,she see them is big dumb animals to use and abuse when he dosen`t OBEY her.(not all b/w).

    • AfroGoddess

      No, that’s what the article wants you to think. And that’s why women are bashing this article. Be a gentleman brother, we appreciate…

  • NYC man1245

    More guys know this then women think and that’s why there are so many single men and women out there. I’m wondering why the women who commented are so salty about this article

    • AfroGoddess

      I think women get ruffled up coz these re things we expect from every man. Protector provider. The hero. It is dangerous to have men believe this is women “using’ them. Men in America have gotten less and less masculine – this can’t be good for them, esp. Black men

      • The FunkyFunky Child

        Why do you expect this? Women literally make me so sick sometimes. You want everything on demand. You want me to pay if I don’t then there’s an awkward undertone. You want me to speak up for you. You want me to tell me how beautiful you agree. You want me to make all the decisions for you as long as you approve of them. You want me to want to have sex with you but if I try and you say no I should be okay with it. But on the RARE moon Im tired or don’t get aroused enough. Its a huge problem.! Please I want an explanation. Im a twenty year old black man with a job, a car, Im in an elite school, I’m an athlete. But I don’t get why I have to do everything for girls. It’s like they wanna make a relationship where i have to use her (for sex and ego) and she has to use me (for anything). I would rather be more equal 55-45 but so many woman have this perverse desire for a 80-20 power relationship that negates them of agency and and affects the male psyche negative. This is what I have to look forward to for the rest of my dating life?

  • ChigozieNdubuisiUzoma

    this artile is for those women who know that the so called friend is attracted to them and choose to exploit that situation

    • Jasmine

      Exactly. If you’re not one of these women, why get offended by the article? Not EVERY SINGLE ARTICLE on this site will pertain to EVERY SINGLE WOMAN out there, so only read the ones that pertain to YOU and keep it moving with the rest. Some women need to get a grip and not take everything so damn personal.

      • L-Boogie

        True. But for some women when you get accused of this and cannot vent. So…yeah.

      • AfroGoddess

        I think women get ruffled up coz these re things we expect from every man. Protector provider. The hero. It is dangerous to have men believe this is women “using’ them. Men in America have gotten less and less masculine – this can’t be good for them, esp. Black men

        • IMJSANYUmad

          you are a simple mut… dont expect nothin like this cuz we aint ya boy… then a man ask you to do something like shut up and get in the kitchen and you actin up… you know nothin about what it is to deal wit you hateful money grubbing glorified holes… *calm voice* we good righ

    • Kath

      I will request favors from Men who: (1) knows I have absolutely no interest in them but still holds on to the hope that someday we’ll get together, and so have no problem doing these favors. (2) are genuine men, who can be and who are friends, without expecting something in return. I mean, all the above I would have done for a friend male/female, granted am in a position to do so. No. 1, makes me sick, but I’ll continue to ‘use’ him anyway. The fact that you like me when it’s obvious the feeling isn’t not mutual, is your problem, not mine. These are selfish men, who only have the desire to have you, by the hook or the crook, regardless of how you feel.

      • IMJSANYUmad

        u a a no shame type smut bucket… u a slimey lil snake

  • kALY

    Why is it woman bashing? Sorry that every article isn’t about kissing the behind of a woman.I
    am beautiful woman and I love good man…..inter racial romance is my dream… so I
    joined —blackwhitePlanet.С0M—–it’s where to- connect with beautiful and excellent people! Any man who complains about the ‘friend zone’ must not value friendship with women and think that they are owed more than what a woman is willing to give.

  • S.W.

    Girl you done told our secrets lol! Kidding! Did you interview dudes to write this article or this is from observation of how you seen some guys get carried? Good read!

  • DUMBBEACHPLEASE

    FELLAS IF YOU LISTEN TO THESE COCKBLOCKING, BALLERBLOCKING LAMES YOU WILL END UP WITH A LOW CLASS CHIC OR EVEN WORSE ONE OF THEIR SWEATY, HAIRY, EXTRA UGLY @$$ES. STOP BALLERBLOCKING AND JUMP OFF A CLIFF!

  • DUMBBEACHPLEASE

    I SERIOUSLY DOUBT THAT A WOMAN WROTE THIS. THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A THIRSTY LOW CLASS DUDE WITH NO CLUE HOW TO TREAT WOMEN. UGH AND I CAN GUESS THE VARIETY. HA HA HA THE SAD PART IS SOME WOMEN’S STANDARDS ARE SO LOW THAT THEY AGREE WITH THE THIRSTBALLS!

    • Dee

      Every article on this site is written from a fake know it all. They swear they are dropping knowledge but they are far from it.

      • Jasmine

        It’s funny how when there are articles on this site that are about “10 ways to spot a deadbeat” or an article that puts men in a bad light, no one is saying a “fake” person wrote it. Women want all articles to paint them in a positive light when the truth is, not all humans are perfect and it’s okay to spotlight that every once in a while so that we can take a real, honest look at ourselves.

        If this article doesn’t pertain to you because you don’t use men, then keep it moving. I find it funny that all these so called independent, I never do anything wrong, perfect women read a site like this anyway. If you’re so perfect, why even bother reading sites that offer ANY information – because you should know it all already! Maybe it’s helpful to someone else, and if it’s not helpful to you, go read something else!

        • http://twitter.com/JohnnyACE562 GRAND MASTER SEN$Ei {{-_-}}™

          Thank you. {{-_-}}

    • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

      Can we agree that there are SOME women who use men? Okay great, so pointing out 9 ways that SOME women use men = thirstball? I don’t get it. Do you oppose articles warning women about SOME men who just want the cookie?

  • DUMBBEACHPLEASE

    30 AND 40 YEAR OLD MEN WHO MUST SLEEP WITH EVERY WOMAN THEY MEET. DESPERATE AND PATHETIC IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT. YOU’LL LIKELY GET TOSSED OUT ONCE SHE SLEEPS WITH YOU ANYWAY. HA HA HA

  • Nope

    Excluding #9, a lot of women get/expect all of this from men, yet cry ‘whoa is me :( ‘ when a man wants to have sex with them. Women rarely come up empty handed when interacting with men because at the least they got some attention and possibly a few meals or errands out of it, even if they’re not his woman (outside of her own head).

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tiffanie-MadameGigglez-Thomas/665285721 Tiffanie MadameGigglez Thomas

    Why is this woman bashing article on here? This is a website that uplifts women, not beat them down for ways that we entice a man by using our femininity.

    • anony

      hello!!!! thank you!! i was thinking the same thing… its called “madamenoire”… get a clue writers!

    • R

      Why is it woman bashing? Sorry that every article isn’t about kissing the behind of a woman.

    • http://twitter.com/JohnnyACE562 GRAND MASTER SEN$Ei {{-_-}}™

      I guess it’s only sexist when men do it. {{-_-}}

    • AfroGoddess

      True. I’m guessing the writer in one of those independent, single women … or married to an effeminate man…

  • Miyo K.

    1. A man who can’t ‘just’ hang out with a beautiful woman obviously doesn’t see women for more than their physical appearance.

    2. Any man who complains about the ‘friend zone’ must not value friendship with women and think that they are owed more than what a woman is willing to give.

    • ChigozieNdubuisiUzoma

      thats not true lol u sure are the user type

      • Miyo K.

        It is true. You just don’t agree. And no, I am not the ‘user type’. There wasn’t even any information in my comment for you to glean anything about my personality.

        • ChigozieNdubuisiUzoma

          its all good at the end of the day a guy is only friends with a female he knows he can never date. its either she is ugly or he is just not attracted to her period

          • MIYO K.

            What kind of female?

    • Irritated

      Yeah she sounds like a gold digger Kim Kardashian bird brain.

    • L-Boogie

      You make so much sense.

    • Kath

      Thank you Kealii.