You Know You Want To Play House! A Busy Girl’s Guide To Being The (Pseudo) Domestic Girlfriend

November 16, 2012  |  
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Sure, your man is supportive of your time-consuming career, your active social life and the Pilates class you attend religiously. Your guy doesn’t ask you to play house, but you kind of want to! Here’s how to be a pseudo-domestic girlfriend, even with a busy life.

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Nap

You know the sleep tug-a-war game: you want to catch up, but he wants to rest. He finally wants your attention, and you’re passing out. Men and women tend to have different sleep schedules. Guys need to unwind after work and space out for a couple of hours, but later in the evening you’ll notice they want to talk, cuddle, have sex etc. at which point, you’re ready for bed. When he is unwinding, get a nap! That way you’ll have energy later in the evening when he wants to spend time with you. If you want to actually have a relationship, it can’t be every man for himself with the sleep schedule.

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Pack everything the night before

One of the greatest benefits of being in a relationship is waking up to love, comfort and maybe some morning sex. But you don’t get that if you’re rushing from the moment you wake up! Prepare as much as you can the night before—packing lunch, packing the briefcase, laying out the clothes—so you can have a little extra bed time in the morning. Some cuddling or sex can boost your happy hormones and make you more productive at work.

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Wake up earlier

One of the most frequent, and tension-inducing fights that happen between couples that live (or almost live) together is fighting over the bathroom. You’re both cranky because you just woke up, and an argument over who used all the hot water can escalate quickly, putting you in a bad mood at work. Just wake up a little earlier. That way, again, when your man wakes up, you are less stressed and can enjoy the morning with him.

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Invest in a crock-pot

And a one-pot cookbook. Your man doesn’t need a gourmet meal to feel impressed. Just a nutritious meal that was made with care will make him feel loved. Sometimes a simple, filling meal is better than an elaborate one.

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Do all the grocery shopping in one day

Don’t grocery shop like a Parisian, stopping at the store every single evening for a different meal. The Parisians aren’t nearly as busy as we are! Put twenty minutes aside to plan the menu for the week on Sunday evening, and make a grocery list to go with it. Do all your shopping Sunday or Monday evening, so you can go straight home after work the rest of the week and steal an extra hour with your man.

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Get him to cook with you

Usually when couples finally sit down to eat, they just want to totally relax. And that usually involves the TV. Ask your guy to help with some easy prep work. People’s minds tend to work better while their hands are working too, so your best catch up time might happen while making dinner together than actually eating it.

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Find your favorite takeout spots

Figure out the takeout spots that are affordable, leave plenty of leftovers, that both you and your guy like. Keep their menus on hand for nights when life gets out of control.

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Keep snack foods around

Women tend to grocery shop with meals in mind, men pay attention more to single items: like I like this item by itself, as it is. Men also tend to snack more in between meals so be sure to keep ready-to-eat snack foods around. Otherwise, you may find a mess in the kitchen when a bag of chips would have satisfied him.

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Make the events that matter most

You may have a strict philosophy on letting one another do the things that are important for your own individual happiness—sticking to your own hobbies, social groups, classes and so on. As independent as you both are, make a point of going with one another to things that really matter to the other person. It’s too easy to think that just because you live together or sleep next to each other, you can slack off on being a part of the other things in one another’s lives.

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Have friends over

Get used to hosting. Going out with friends means spending money, yelling over all the noise, being interrupted by servers and dealing with traffic. All in all, it can feel like one more thing you have to do during the week instead of a relaxing escape. Make it easy on your guy: invite his favorite couple friends over, but make it casual with the TV on, finger foods and beer. Your guy won’t feel like he has to “turn it on” but he still gets to be around his buddies.

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Don’t keep score

Help each other out whenever you can. If you see a bunch of dishes your guy left out, you know he’s in a rush and you’re not doing anything, just pick the dishes up! Don’t worry about which person did dishes last. If you promote the idea that you help each other however you can, he will probably follow suit.

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Outsource if you can

Treat yourself just once a month to a professional cleaning service. Some charge as little as $25 an hour and they will get to crevices you never could. They’ll leave the place three times as spick and span as you or your partner could on your own, making arguments over the messy home fewer and further between.

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Have lazy weekend mornings

If you’re feeling guilty about just putting cereal and milk out in the morning, make one (or both) mornings of the weekend big breakfast mornings. Keep the bacon, the hash browns, the pancake mix and everything else you don’t indulge in on the weeks around for the weekend. You’ll get a little extra time together before you get into your weekend activities, plus you’ll bond over being a little “bad” together with the big, greasy breakfast.

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Don’t forget to be romantic

Between all the routines you have set for your week, don’t forget to implement the element of surprise. Have a bubble bath waiting for your man after work, wake up early to do the big breakfast on a weekday, stay up late watching your favorite movies together, even if it means you’re sleepy at work one day. Don’t run a tight ship all the time, or your relationship will start to feel more like that of co-workers.

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  • Charles

    It is odd that so many women reject so quickly the very role they struggled for us to respect. It’s hard to respect the role they abandoned.

  • playing house is a waste of time. just like the term “wifey” is just to shut you up for awhile. thinking you going to get the ring but you are just a live in maid. i talk about all of this and more in my new ebook on Amazon titled Straight No Chaser. check it out!

  • MIYO K.

    No, I do not want to play house.

    • anonymous

      exactly

  • ANTMilf

    Why don’t you people at MN get like a slideshow for your lists of things? I mean 15 clicks from one page to another?!? *in my sweet brown voice* AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!

    • anonymous

      i COMPLETELY agree with this comment.

  • C’mon son

    No thank you. You can keep this; all 15 clicks of it. You play the pseudo-domestic girlfriend role, you’ll get taken for granted and end up in a pseudo relationship.

    • MLS2698

      Yup, who wants to click for that? Those pseudo chicks will be the first to complain when a man moves on to the next fake relationship for someone to wash his sh*t stained boxers.

  • deadwrong4this1

    What the heck kind of article is this??? Who in the hell wants to do all this ish and be some man’s girlfriend??? This is the type of ish you do for your husband!!! Sounds like you’re trying force the a man to see your “wife/motherly skills.” If anyone takes this mess serious they will continue to be a “domestic girlfriend!!!”