You Know You Want To Play House! A Busy Girl’s Guide To Being The (Pseudo) Domestic Girlfriend
Sure, your man is supportive of your time-consuming career, your active social life and the Pilates class you attend religiously. Your guy doesn’t ask you to play house, but you kind of want to! Here’s how to be a pseudo-domestic girlfriend, even with a busy life.
You know the sleep tug-a-war game: you want to catch up, but he wants to rest. He finally wants your attention, and you’re passing out. Men and women tend to have different sleep schedules. Guys need to unwind after work and space out for a couple of hours, but later in the evening you’ll notice they want to talk, cuddle, have sex etc. at which point, you’re ready for bed. When he is unwinding, get a nap! That way you’ll have energy later in the evening when he wants to spend time with you. If you want to actually have a relationship, it can’t be every man for himself with the sleep schedule.
Pack everything the night before
One of the greatest benefits of being in a relationship is waking up to love, comfort and maybe some morning sex. But you don’t get that if you’re rushing from the moment you wake up! Prepare as much as you can the night before—packing lunch, packing the briefcase, laying out the clothes—so you can have a little extra bed time in the morning. Some cuddling or sex can boost your happy hormones and make you more productive at work.
Wake up earlier
One of the most frequent, and tension-inducing fights that happen between couples that live (or almost live) together is fighting over the bathroom. You’re both cranky because you just woke up, and an argument over who used all the hot water can escalate quickly, putting you in a bad mood at work. Just wake up a little earlier. That way, again, when your man wakes up, you are less stressed and can enjoy the morning with him.
Invest in a crock-pot
And a one-pot cookbook. Your man doesn’t need a gourmet meal to feel impressed. Just a nutritious meal that was made with care will make him feel loved. Sometimes a simple, filling meal is better than an elaborate one.
Do all the grocery shopping in one day
Don’t grocery shop like a Parisian, stopping at the store every single evening for a different meal. The Parisians aren’t nearly as busy as we are! Put twenty minutes aside to plan the menu for the week on Sunday evening, and make a grocery list to go with it. Do all your shopping Sunday or Monday evening, so you can go straight home after work the rest of the week and steal an extra hour with your man.
Get him to cook with you
Usually when couples finally sit down to eat, they just want to totally relax. And that usually involves the TV. Ask your guy to help with some easy prep work. People’s minds tend to work better while their hands are working too, so your best catch up time might happen while making dinner together than actually eating it.
Find your favorite takeout spots
Figure out the takeout spots that are affordable, leave plenty of leftovers, that both you and your guy like. Keep their menus on hand for nights when life gets out of control.
Keep snack foods around
Women tend to grocery shop with meals in mind, men pay attention more to single items: like I like this item by itself, as it is. Men also tend to snack more in between meals so be sure to keep ready-to-eat snack foods around. Otherwise, you may find a mess in the kitchen when a bag of chips would have satisfied him.
Make the events that matter most
You may have a strict philosophy on letting one another do the things that are important for your own individual happiness—sticking to your own hobbies, social groups, classes and so on. As independent as you both are, make a point of going with one another to things that really matter to the other person. It’s too easy to think that just because you live together or sleep next to each other, you can slack off on being a part of the other things in one another’s lives.
Have friends over
Get used to hosting. Going out with friends means spending money, yelling over all the noise, being interrupted by servers and dealing with traffic. All in all, it can feel like one more thing you have to do during the week instead of a relaxing escape. Make it easy on your guy: invite his favorite couple friends over, but make it casual with the TV on, finger foods and beer. Your guy won’t feel like he has to “turn it on” but he still gets to be around his buddies.
Don’t keep score
Help each other out whenever you can. If you see a bunch of dishes your guy left out, you know he’s in a rush and you’re not doing anything, just pick the dishes up! Don’t worry about which person did dishes last. If you promote the idea that you help each other however you can, he will probably follow suit.
Outsource if you can
Treat yourself just once a month to a professional cleaning service. Some charge as little as $25 an hour and they will get to crevices you never could. They’ll leave the place three times as spick and span as you or your partner could on your own, making arguments over the messy home fewer and further between.
Have lazy weekend mornings
If you’re feeling guilty about just putting cereal and milk out in the morning, make one (or both) mornings of the weekend big breakfast mornings. Keep the bacon, the hash browns, the pancake mix and everything else you don’t indulge in on the weeks around for the weekend. You’ll get a little extra time together before you get into your weekend activities, plus you’ll bond over being a little “bad” together with the big, greasy breakfast.
Don’t forget to be romantic
Between all the routines you have set for your week, don’t forget to implement the element of surprise. Have a bubble bath waiting for your man after work, wake up early to do the big breakfast on a weekday, stay up late watching your favorite movies together, even if it means you’re sleepy at work one day. Don’t run a tight ship all the time, or your relationship will start to feel more like that of co-workers.