What To Do If You Hear The Dreaded Words “I Love You, But I’m Not In Love With You”

November 9, 2012  |  


From YourTango

For most of us, the dreaded words, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you,” are devastating. They chill us to the bone and we begin to fear for our relationship. Those six words bring back past memories when we loved someone deeply, but they just wanted to be friends.

If someone says it you, it may trigger the pain of a previous relationship. So, what do you do? Here are some tips I’ve found are effective:

1. Move beyond your fear to hear what he needs. When we’re afraid, all we can think about are the disasters we’re sure lie ahead.  We ruminate over increasingly dramatic and tragic occurrences: “He doesn’t think I’m attractive. He’s probably going to leave me. I’m going to be all alone the rest of my life.” Does any of this sound familiar?

Get a hold of yourself. Don’t go down that path. Instead, ask yourself “what does he need?” He may be telling you he needs to recapture his passion for life.

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  • IllyPhilly

    Who says stuff like that?

  • Ms_Sunshine9898

    Last time I heard those words from the man I had been with for four years, I packed all of my sh!t, cut off my hair and moved to Texas to became a flight attendant and start a new life. . .

  • olivia

    Sadly, too many women think if they hang around long enough the man will eventually change his mind.

    Once someone stops being (or never was) attracted to you, not much can reverse that.

  • MLS2698

    Pack yo shyt, now! That’s what you do!

  • 1Val

    Say thank you for letting me know I can do better, accept it, have no contact with ex,move on and live well.

  • I love you but I’m not in love with you, usually translate into “while I enjoy the comfort of being with someone I know, my dyck just doesn’t get hard for you like it use to.”

    Let’s be real here.

    • TRUTH IS

      LOL or I love putting my dyck in you but I love nothing else. How can you have $ex with someone you don’t like/love is beyond me!!

      • That’s another one lol. I can’t stand to be in the room with you unless you’re quiet and butt naked. LOL.

        • TRUTH IS


      • MLS2698

        I used to imagine what it was like to have a dyck. Would I stare at every woman who has a fat bootay, would it rise to almost any occasion, does it really have a mind of it’s own, would I talk to it, would I ask every woman to ” touch it, ” would I instagram it, give it a name, not want it to be smothered by a condom, pick which thigh it should rest on, ask if it likes boxers or briefs, wonder if it’s bigger than most others, blame it for being a liar, cheat and idiot………Well, you get the idea. LOL!

  • JaneDoe

    Commit to loving yourself and move the hell on… Don’t allow anyone to string you along. Whether it is a friendship or a relationship