The Best Thing About The Election — Besides Obama Winning — Is We Don’t Have To Hear From These Idiots Anymore
I had a bit of a revelation yesterday when thinking about President Obama’s re-election. Of course I’m super excited to call Barack Obama my president for another four years — and you know control my own vayjayjay without Republican oversight — put there is something equally exciting about this re-election that has nothing to do with him. We will no longer have to hear from the ignorant characters who showed their you know what’s this election season.
Between random endorsements, trying to hold the president for ransom, and making the case for legitimate rapes, by the time November 6 came around, most of us couldn’t wait for the entire electoral process to be over just so we wouldn’t have to see or hear from these fools who will now be disappearing into conservative oblivion anymore. Let’s take one last look at them shall we?
I know at least 47% of the American population should be happy about this. Republicans don’t like to keep their losers around for long. I mean has anyone seen or heard from George Bush since 2008? Sarah Palin? John McCain? The GOP doesn’t eff with people who can’t cross the finish line and since every state Mitt Romney ever had any sort of connection to voted against him in the election Tuesday, he’s pretty much the most unwanted man in America right now. That means he’ll likely retire to one of his mansions to live out his last days in seclusion, except for those 19 cousins and distant relatives he kept bringing out at every public appearance.
Paul hasn’t really been trying to be seen too much since he took that butt whopping from Joe Biden during the vice presidential debate. Like Mitt, Paul is no longer valuable to the republican party which means no one will be asking him for his opinion on anything except maybe how to be a puppet for the GOP. Fine by me.
Round of applause, baby make that…oops, sorry, I got caught up in the moment. Ratchet music aside, the silencing of Donald Trump is by far the best thing about this entire list. The Donald has been a nuisance every since the 2008 election season with his birther theories that he unfortunately brought into this election with a rather disturbing video directed at the president. And even though he’s called for recounts and marches on Washington since Barack Obama’s re-election was announced, you know it’s bad when news outlets don’t even want to report on your foolishness because they don’t want to give you anymore undeserving attention. By my watch, he’s got about 24 more hours of relevance and then it’s game over unless he’s talking about “The Apprentice.”
No more 1,300-word letters, no more Baywatch swimsuits, no more claims to be a well-paid actress. I mean what more do I need to say? Stacey Dash came, we saw, and she went within the blink of an eye. She may be the most classic example of 15 minutes of fame ever. She certainly got what she came for and now she can retreat to the land of unemployed B-list actresses where she came from.
If any woman, let alone a victim of a sexual assault, had to sit through one more of Todd Aiken’s takes on abortion and the physiological aspect of rape, all hell would have broke loose. When the Missouri representative shared his tainted thoughts on “legitimate rape” and how the female body can “shut that whole thing down,” he sealed his fate in the Senate race. We all should be thankful for that. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if the GOP put out a gag order on Todd so that he can’t further embarrass their party.
Ann won’t completely disappear because she stays coming out with a book and “The View” keeps her on their couch, but at least we won’t have to watch Ann pretend to care about black people anymore or hear anything else about high-tech lynchings. Because she’s the type of chick who needs a lot of attention, I’m sure Ann’s Twitter account will still be on and popping with all sorts of underhanded prejudice thoughts, but on the national stage, no one will be checking for her again until 2016.
Newt has technically already been swept under the rug by his party but the absence of his presence still deserves a moment of silence. No more will we have to hear his foodstamp president grandstanding or suggestions that bilingual education requirements in school be replaced with immersion in English. Newt is now an official non mother-effing factor, and the United States is a better place because of it.
I think even Clint Eastwood realized he needed to have a seat in that imaginary chair he was talking to at the Republican National Convention earlier this year. The respect and admiration many hold for the actor and director virtually diminished after he pulled that stunt at the RNC and for good reason. Everything about that “performance” seemed to prove he was clearly off his rocker. I don’t mind seeing him in front of the screen reciting lines in a movie but when it comes to political matters, I prefer he stay behind the camera from here on out.
It’s a given that Mitch should sit down given that he’s already failed his major goal of 2012: preventing President Obama’s re-election. Yes, this is the senator who told the National Journal in 2010:
“The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.”
Well, all I have to say to that is four more years. Oh yeah, and take that Mitches!
If you didn’t notice, Republicans only eff with Michael on particular occasions. They brought him out at the RNC in 2008 just to act like they had an equal counterpart to Barack Obama and then they brought him out after the re-election this year just to make his sporadic appearances seem less suspect. I actually found out the GOP puppet is a little bit smarter than he seems when on the night of the election he fully admitted that Republicans have been getting their behinds spanked and they’re going to keep getting spanked unless they don’t learn something from this loss. But given how stuck the GOP is in their ways, I wouldn’t be surprised if Michael went missing again just for going against them. Oh well, less nonsense we have to listen to.