Pipe Dreams And Missed Child Support Payments: 9 Ways To Weed Out A Boy From A Man

November 23, 2012  |  
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Often times, it can be hard for us women to tell if we’re dealing with someone who’s fully grown or someone who has a lot more growing up to do, especially if we grew up without a father or any other male figure to show us the ropes and teach us the difference between a little boy and a real man. Even women who are experienced daters sometimes find themselves battling it out with a guy who started off as their dream guy and wound up being an overgrown child. Well, question no more because these nine signs tell you everything you need to know about whether you’re dealing with a scrub versus a stand-up guy, or better yet, a man versus a boy.

Men Take Care of Responsibility

A real man does whatever he has to do to take care of his obligations. If he gets laid off work, he’ll bus tables at Mickey D’s before he sees his family go hungry. You don’t have to argue with him about bills, they’re already paid (or getting paid as we speak). No fussing about spending time with his kids, they’re already taken care of, and no worries about taking out the trash, it’s already done.
Now boys, on the other hand, will get you pregnant and leave, put up a fight about how much money he should be paying on the rent, and leave it up to you to do things that he knows damn well he should be doing for his children. If this is the case, get rid of him, he’s no good.


A Real Man Keeps His Word

When he says he’ll be there at eight to pick you up for your doctor’s appointment, you can rest assure that your man will be there to take care of you. Whatever he says, he means it and always comes through. Now if he’s constantly changing his mind and making excuses of why he can’t be there and disappoints you on the regular, then you know you’re dealing with a boy. Move on.

A Man Will Respect You

When you’re with a man, he will make you feel like you’re a queen sitting on a throne. He will never hurt you or make you feel like you have no worth. He knows that you are special and treats you as such. So anytime you’re called out your name, made to feel like trash, or have to deal with bs from “other” women, you know he doesn’t respect you. Let him go, baby boy still has a lot of growing to do.


Boys Play Games, Men Don’t

When it comes to relationships, a real man will do everything in his power to make you happy. He won’t have you thinking that you’re the only woman in his life when you’re not and he won’t tell you he loves you and wants to be with you if he doesn’t mean it. But a boy, he will keep you hanging on knowing that he really can’t see a future with you and have you thinking that you’ve stolen his heart, not because he wants to spare your feelings, but because he only cares about your body parts and what you can give him.


Boys Don’t Know How to Communicate

Ever talk to a man and anytime you’re saying something he doesn’t want to hear, he shuts down, changes the subject, or throws in negative remarks completely unrelated to the topic at hand, just to spark an argument? He’s a little boy.
Men have no problems listening and sharing their thoughts. They don’t shy away from important and meaningful conversations, no matter how uncomfortable or upsetting they can be. Open up already!


Men Know What They Want Out of Life, Boys Don’t

A mature grown man knows exactly what he wants and needs out of life and how to get it. Whether he already has it or is working towards making it happen, men have their heads on straight and their whole life mapped out. A man without goals, ambition and aspirations is not a man at all and will probably look to ride your coattails to get success.


Men Are Secure and Confident

When you step out the house looking fine, turning heads and dropping jaws, a guy who’s a man won’t trip. Why? Because he knows you belong to him and he’s secure enough to believe that how he treats you and what he provides will keep you by his side. But not just with you, in everything he does, he executes it with the mentality that he’s more than capable of getting it done. Men don’t doubt themselves and their abilities. So when you’re with a guy who throws fits when you get too many stares or constantly questions himself, beware girl, you’re dealing with an insecure little boy.

Boys Are Immature, Men Are Full Grown

It’s pretty much self-explanatory. If he acts like he’s five, doesn’t step up to the plate when he should, and you have to handle him the same way you do your newborn niece, you’re dealing with a not-fully-grown and young-minded adolescent.

A Man Would Rather Walk Away Than To Lay A Finger on You

We all go through that stage in life where we run around the schoolyard fighting with boys, slapping them up while they hold us in a headlock. But once we reach a certain age, most boys learn the importance of keeping their hands to themselves (as should grown women). No matter how much you nag, how many times you jump in his face, push, punch or pull, an authentic, thorough man is smart enough to walk away. And if he doesn’t, if he chooses to raise his hands rather than leave you be, know that this little boy has not fully grown out of his schoolboy ways and if he strikes you once, he will do it again. Therefore, it’s best to leave him alone.

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  • jillian

    let’s stop defining people with abstract concepts as if they are hardlined guidelines. Although laziness and lack of motivation truly show themselves early on any other excuse or explanation of what’s “real” should be made on a discretionary nature; bc most of this advice will end up contradicting itself sooner or later.

    • CarlaKah

      Sorry jillian but I do not agree with you. It makes me think you cut immature men some slack in the wrong way. For the ladies who hate clicking all the pages (like me) Here is a short overview.

      #1: Men take care of responsibility

      I really don;t see how that is abstract. Either someone is responsible therefore reliable, or they are not. If you choose to consider someone being in a grey area the consequences are on you. I feel that more women should keep this one as a guidelines and put irresponsible men on ignore.

      #2: A real man keeps his word

      Again how is that too abstract? Sorry if he says he will do something for me and I count on him to do it and he doesn’t… That dude is not keeping his word. Maybe he is mature about other stuff but he is not mature about keeping his word.

      # 3:


      Of course you can have quirrels and disputes where disrespectful words are said but overal… the whole thing needs to come back to respect. Whatever you consider respect to be.



      Not too abstract!





      Men Know What They Want Out of Life, Boys Don’t

      Point Blank.

      # 7:


      True that


      Boys Are Immature, Men Are Full Grown

      Very clear!
      # 9:

      A Man Would Rather Walk Away Than To Lay A Finger on You

      And a woman would too!

      • jillian

        By abstract I meant there are no universal concepts for some of these guidelines. A lot of these things are perception based. What others value as responsible, may just be a simple task of life’s necessities to me(cleaning/grooming, cooking, and working). Where that gets abstract is to what extent satisfies YOU. I’ve just reached an understanding in life, with much frustration, that you can’t expect others to fully meet your level of execution.

        A) Confidence: I’ll tie violence to this. Fear or lack of confidence begets aggression. Which leads to maturity.

        B) Maturity/Communication: Some women dont view gamers as immature. When you argue does he storm off or shut down and refuse to argue(big issues and small issues)? I’m sorry but sometimes not engaging in a confrontation is the best means. Let’s not confuse his way of ignoring instruction(bc us ladies love to supervise–super guilty) as immaturity.

        C) Games: Is it a game because the repercussion of the relationship did not end in marriage? So now the only rational explanation is you were strung along? Look not everything in life is going to favor us.

        D) Respect/Keeping Your Word: You never had a relationship or love if this questioned. you had an interaction of the loosest variety if this isnt at least a weight bearing structure. But also note that even communicating effectively(problem resolving) is a tenant(Leave Pettiness and Jealousy out of this.)

        E) Responsibility: Again what’s your tolerance level for the day to day annoyances such as trash, landscaping, and overall personal possession maintenance. Remember he/she isnt the help, but have no right to do any less than you. But when it comes to his children, job, or life observe and note it that is his business(if you’re not the biological mother, wife, or living together).

        F) Life Plan: That’s your level of discernment do you want a bum, project, or ready made partner. You can always say NO.

        Back on topic, Abstraction comes from that some of the examples are only applicable to the married–young minds on here researching wont get that. His/her lifestyle choices are their business if you want to play apart, well then, fine. Just understand what you signed up for.

        • CarlaKah

          I completely agree with the fact that women need to take responsibility for their own choices and allowances. HOWEVER. Your A-F list doesn’t clearly state why #1-#9 are all too abstract. Here is how I see it. If you truly know wht you consider all those mentioned terms to be (i.e. know what you want, need and look for). #1-#9 can be great guidelines in keeping yourself focused. And aren’t young minds the ones who might benefit from this list?

  • Plumbline

    1 Kings 2:2-3……………..

    2 Now the days of David drew near that he should die, and he charged Solomon his son, saying: 2 “I go the way of all the earth; be strong, therefore, and prove yourself a man. 3 And keep the charge of the Lord your God: to walk in His ways, to keep His statutes, His commandments, His judgments, and His testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn;

    • CarlaKah

      OMG why the verses…

  • Nikki

    I believe everyone needs a stable mother and father in their lives. However, if your kid doesn’t have one, you should have a stable mother figure or father figure. I honestly believe it makes a difference in a person.

  • moemiel

    i dont agree with #9…Why would a real woman even think punching her man is acceptable. Assault is assault. Stop telling women that its ok for them to do it n not ok for a man to retaliate. respect ppls properties ( which include their bodies)

    • CarlaKah


  • bluekissess

    You always attract what you give off. I think in order to get “the real man” women should do what’s on the list as well. You can’t except a real man to be apart of your life if you’re not responsible, don’t play games, staying loyal ect. Lets not put the blame on men. Women have to check themselves in order to get what they want.

    • True. Grown woman recognize and deal with only grown men.