Pipe Dreams And Missed Child Support Payments: 9 Ways To Weed Out A Boy From A Man

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November 23, 2012 ‐ By Cecily Michelle

 

"Immature Man"

Often times, it can be hard for us women to tell if we’re dealing with someone who’s fully grown or someone who has a lot more growing up to do, especially if we grew up without a father or any other male figure to show us the ropes and teach us the difference between a little boy and a real man. Even women who are experienced daters sometimes find themselves battling it out with a guy who started off as their dream guy and wound up being an overgrown child. Well, question no more because these nine signs tell you everything you need to know about whether you’re dealing with a scrub versus a stand-up guy, or better yet, a man versus a boy.

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  • http://twitter.com/JaniceJade1 Janice Jade

    i talk about topics like this and much more in my ebook Straight No Chaser. its only $2.99. available on Amazon! download it on your Kindle! and figure out how to get what you want out of your relationships!

  • jillian

    let’s stop defining people with abstract concepts as if they are hardlined guidelines. Although laziness and lack of motivation truly show themselves early on any other excuse or explanation of what’s “real” should be made on a discretionary nature; bc most of this advice will end up contradicting itself sooner or later.

    • CarlaKah

      Sorry jillian but I do not agree with you. It makes me think you cut immature men some slack in the wrong way. For the ladies who hate clicking all the pages (like me) Here is a short overview.

      #1: Men take care of responsibility

      I really don;t see how that is abstract. Either someone is responsible therefore reliable, or they are not. If you choose to consider someone being in a grey area the consequences are on you. I feel that more women should keep this one as a guidelines and put irresponsible men on ignore.

      #2: A real man keeps his word

      Again how is that too abstract? Sorry if he says he will do something for me and I count on him to do it and he doesn’t… That dude is not keeping his word. Maybe he is mature about other stuff but he is not mature about keeping his word.

      # 3:

      A MAN WILL RESPECT YOU

      Of course you can have quirrels and disputes where disrespectful words are said but overal… the whole thing needs to come back to respect. Whatever you consider respect to be.

      #4:

      BOYS PLAY GAMES, MEN DON’T

      Not too abstract!

      #5:

      BOYS DON’T KNOW HOW TO COMMUNICATE

      Right?

      #6:

      Men Know What They Want Out of Life, Boys Don’t

      Point Blank.

      # 7:

      MEN ARE SECURE AND CONFIDENT

      True that

      #8:

      Boys Are Immature, Men Are Full Grown

      Very clear!
      # 9:

      A Man Would Rather Walk Away Than To Lay A Finger on You

      And a woman would too!

      • jillian

        By abstract I meant there are no universal concepts for some of these guidelines. A lot of these things are perception based. What others value as responsible, may just be a simple task of life’s necessities to me(cleaning/grooming, cooking, and working). Where that gets abstract is to what extent satisfies YOU. I’ve just reached an understanding in life, with much frustration, that you can’t expect others to fully meet your level of execution.

        A) Confidence: I’ll tie violence to this. Fear or lack of confidence begets aggression. Which leads to maturity.

        B) Maturity/Communication: Some women dont view gamers as immature. When you argue does he storm off or shut down and refuse to argue(big issues and small issues)? I’m sorry but sometimes not engaging in a confrontation is the best means. Let’s not confuse his way of ignoring instruction(bc us ladies love to supervise–super guilty) as immaturity.

        C) Games: Is it a game because the repercussion of the relationship did not end in marriage? So now the only rational explanation is you were strung along? Look not everything in life is going to favor us.

        D) Respect/Keeping Your Word: You never had a relationship or love if this questioned. you had an interaction of the loosest variety if this isnt at least a weight bearing structure. But also note that even communicating effectively(problem resolving) is a tenant(Leave Pettiness and Jealousy out of this.)

        E) Responsibility: Again what’s your tolerance level for the day to day annoyances such as trash, landscaping, and overall personal possession maintenance. Remember he/she isnt the help, but have no right to do any less than you. But when it comes to his children, job, or life observe and note it that is his business(if you’re not the biological mother, wife, or living together).

        F) Life Plan: That’s your level of discernment do you want a bum, project, or ready made partner. You can always say NO.

        Back on topic, Abstraction comes from that some of the examples are only applicable to the married–young minds on here researching wont get that. His/her lifestyle choices are their business if you want to play apart, well then, fine. Just understand what you signed up for.

        • CarlaKah

          I completely agree with the fact that women need to take responsibility for their own choices and allowances. HOWEVER. Your A-F list doesn’t clearly state why #1-#9 are all too abstract. Here is how I see it. If you truly know wht you consider all those mentioned terms to be (i.e. know what you want, need and look for). #1-#9 can be great guidelines in keeping yourself focused. And aren’t young minds the ones who might benefit from this list?

  • Plumbline

    1 Kings 2:2-3……………..

    2 Now the days of David drew near that he should die, and he charged Solomon his son, saying: 2 “I go the way of all the earth; be strong, therefore, and prove yourself a man. 3 And keep the charge of the Lord your God: to walk in His ways, to keep His statutes, His commandments, His judgments, and His testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn;

    • CarlaKah

      OMG why the verses…

  • Nikki

    I believe everyone needs a stable mother and father in their lives. However, if your kid doesn’t have one, you should have a stable mother figure or father figure. I honestly believe it makes a difference in a person.

  • moemiel

    i dont agree with #9…Why would a real woman even think punching her man is acceptable. Assault is assault. Stop telling women that its ok for them to do it n not ok for a man to retaliate. respect ppls properties ( which include their bodies)

    • CarlaKah

      Truth

  • bluekissess

    You always attract what you give off. I think in order to get “the real man” women should do what’s on the list as well. You can’t except a real man to be apart of your life if you’re not responsible, don’t play games, staying loyal ect. Lets not put the blame on men. Women have to check themselves in order to get what they want.

    • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

      True. Grown woman recognize and deal with only grown men.

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