What A Mighty Good Man: 9 Things You Can Do To Keep Him Where He’s At

November 12, 2012  |  

"Woman Holding Man's Face"

I’m sure you’ve all heard the old adage that “a good man is hard to find.” And with the way our men are being swallowed by the prison system and dropping like flies, I couldn’t agree more. So when you do come across a good one, the smart thing to do is to put those clanks on ‘em—lock him down and make it so he doesn’t want to be set free. How? Check out these nine tips that will make him feel appreciated and will help you keep your old man by your side.

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Take Care of Home
To some of you, it may sound 1950-ish, but making sure everything is in order around your home is one of the key elements to keeping a good man. Nothing screams wife material more than a woman who feeds her man when he’s hungry, can pay a few bills (if necessary), takes care of the kids—if you have any—and keeps the house tidy (even if you don’t live together, keeping your own apartment clean will show him that you have the ability to maintain a home).
A good man should walk through his door and feel comfortable and at ease. So it’s your job to provide that for him, that is, if you want to keep him.

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Let Him Be the Boss
We all know that behind closed doors, women run ish. But don’t ever make him feel like he’s less than a man, especially in public. That’s a big no-no. Follow his lead, let him call the shots, but once you get back home, well, you know what’s up.

Be Supportive
Men pride themselves on their accomplishments, money, and their ability to provide. So anything that correlates to the three, you better believe he holds it dear. Whether it’s dreams of building his own auto shop, or getting a promotion at the job, make sure that you encourage him to do his best, assist him in attaining his goals, and support him in everything he chooses to do.

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Be a Lady in the Streets, But a Freak in the Sheets
No sane man wants a woman who gets loud, wild and crazy every time they’re in a public setting, but when locks are turned and doors close, that’s a different story. If you want to keep your man, know when it’s time to have some class and when it’s time to break the chains and let loose.

"Man watching TV pf"

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Give Him Space
Every once in a while, he may want to spend the night out with his boys or invest in a little alone time without any interruptions or distractions. Respect that. Just like us, men like to be by themselves sometimes. Don’t take it personally. Give him his space and when he’s ready, he’ll come right back. Besides, it’s a great opportunity for you to do all the things you want that he might not be into. Kick it with the girls, catch up on your shows–just chill.

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Take Care of Yourself
Always make sure your nails are done, hair is on point and that you’re dressed to kill. Hit up the gym if you want to lose a few pounds, even if your body is already tight and in tip-top shape. Remember, we live in a world where women outnumber our male counterparts, so you should never give your man a reason to be embarrassed about showing you off or taking you out. Of course, there will come a time in your relationship where you will comfortably look how you look in front of him, even if that means you’re rocking rollers and sweats. But we all know that nothing is sexier than a woman who holds her man down, and looks good doing it.

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Try Not to Nag, At Least Not Too Much
I know it’s hard ladies, but if and when he messes up—especially if it’s something small—don’t go on and on and on and on and on and…on. Make your point and let it go. Otherwise, your motor-mouth can lead to frequent late nights at the job and ample opportunity for vultures—lonely, desperate women—to swoop down on your man.

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Be Spontaneous
After you’ve been with someone for a while, things can become routine, and well, pretty darn boring. So it’s nice to throw a few curve balls in there every so often. You know, switch it up, keep things spicy. Whether it’s trying something new in the bedroom or planning a surprise dinner on a fancy yacht, or doing something you don’t necessarily like but know he loves, make sure you maintain his interest by keeping him on his toes.

Have Your Ish Together
Only insecure men go after women with no morals, goals, ambition or confidence. But if you’ve hooked a real one, I’m sure he’d prefer you to have your life on track so that he can avoid unnecessary headaches and drama.
Before you can be happy with someone else, you first have to get your life in order and be happy with yourself. Real talk.

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  • LivingLife

    The main point that needs to be reiterated here is HE HAS TO ALREADY BE A GOOD MAN!!! You can’t go trying to apply these steps in hopes that you can turn him into a good man.

  • ACM

    Wow, I got the second “thing” and had to stop. I see exactly where this is going. I have no time to clean up after you, you’re a grown man. No one is the “boss” of me, but me…no need to keep reading.

  • MrTalented.com

    Wow. Impressive. Mrs. Michelle.

  • amazing_man

    Thank you for what you wrote! I’m no longer in a long distance relationship with a younger lady i fell deeply in love with! She’s 35 and I’m 48. I’m a Good Man!!! I treated this woman as my Queen and i find out she has been texting this married guy she “use to see” about the things (sexual) they use to do… But she says I’m this Amazing Man!? “How does that fit??? We were compatible in so many ways. She tells me she can’t see me not being in her life… “I’m suppose to believe that?” I do miss what we had or what i thought we had. Her loss and my broken heart!

    • She wasn’t that into you. Bottom line LD relationships are hard enough you gotta have a powerful connection. All that other noise she’s spoutin to the side, she just wasn’t diggin you the way you were digging her. Or she needs constant attention from several men to keep her self esteem up.

  • yaya

    This article makes it seem like there is a never ending battle/competition with other women who will want ur man.If you are dealing with a good man he won’t ever make you feel insecure about losing him to another person, because it’s not just you but also HIM in the relationship! He will be actively participating in the relationship, and he will show you that you are the most important woman to him.

    Some women are with WORTHLESS men who NO ONE of quality is checking for him and these women should not be doing all this stuff, but she settles and in the process becomes unsettled emotionally.A lot of the times the woman is upgrading this man in more ways then one, keeping him healthy, motivating him to move forward in his career, giving him regular sex, and more.Ladies if you are not ENJOYING doing certain things for your partner and they start to feel like a checklist of things to do and a waste of energy, it could be because you possibly don’t love him ; use that energy for your own sanity and happiness.

    • This is what I tell my single friends who see a man’s “potential” and try to forge the type of man she wants out of a lump of clay. I say if you have to do his resume, buy, and iron his clothes, hunt down the job for him, look into the college/trade school for him, work on his credit, co-sign for his car, and pray he gets his drinking under control. You pretty much are one running his life, and two you are raising him as though he was your child. How healthy is that?

      Furthermore, say said man does get his ish together starts making decent money etc. You know what he’s going to do? Not kiss your feet and praise the ground you walk on he’s going to think to himself “well damn if I pulled her while I ain’t had ish who can I pull now that I got myself together?” so he dumps/cheats on the woman who held him down for Miss New Booty who had standards and wouldn’t have given his crusty azz the time of day before you shined him up. But they ain’t hearing me though.

  • No name, just real

    Remain true, remain supportive, remain loyal and he will remain good to you.

  • Kiyoko Kayo Hisoka

    Is this 2012 or 1930?

    How many articles do you think you can find on a male centric site that advises men on how to ‘keep’ a woman?

    • Nope

      But don’t a lot of women claim to be ‘traditionalist’? Well, here’s the other side of that convenient claim.

      • Kiyoko Kayo Hisoka

        I wouldn’t know.

  • 1Val

    It would be great to read What A Mighty Good Woman: 9 Things He Can Do To Keep Her Where She’s At.

    • Nope

      ………………………….But there’s mostly women on this site…………………………….

      • 1Val

        Exactly!!! The site should feature more women’s empowerment instead of victim and ladies in waiting for a man to validate them articles. Men especially black men need to be more focus on how they can attract and sustain healthy relationships with black women and that will never happen if black men are always the star in love affairs.

        • Nope

          I’ll say what I always say to my frustrated Black female friends: ‘Good Black men are out there and some of them are married, just not to you.’

          • 1Val

            Obviously, you and I are not friends. If we were friends then you would have known that I am neither frustrated or single. lol.

          • Twine

            So do you disagree with the points made in this article? If a “good” man is so rare but a woman eventually establishes a relationship with one, why isn’t it acceptable to give her advice on how to maintain the relationship? Responses like this tend to come across as if the man is always to blame (hence, requires more advice) & women can do no wrong.

            • Nope

              ” Responses like this tend to come across as if the man is always to blame (hence, requires more advice) & women can do no wrong.”

              IMO, that’s how most women think of themselves. My whole point of even responding to this article and the person above is that most women already think they’re incredibly awesome, so if an article was “What A Mighty Good Woman: 9 Things He Can Do To Keep Her Where She’s At”, that would’ve already been right in line with that mentality and nothing new.

              Most women have a victimization mentality post relationship, either legitimate emotional or physical abuse, or just made up such as the guy failed to realize how incredible awesome she was.

              • Twine

                Actually, Nope, I meant to respond to 1Val, but hit your link instead (insert sh1+ eating grin here)! I wish to point out that you wrote “Most women”, which means you aren’t generalizing, but I get the feeling that someone will get defensive about your response! Let’s watch…