Does Father Know Best? Why You Should Consult Your Dad For The Best Love Advice

November 7, 2012  |  
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Men may seem like they don’t want to communicate, and that they definitely don’t want to communicate about relationships, but there is one guy that would be happy to chime in on your love life—your dad! Dads aren’t solicited enough for love advice, when they can be a wealth of knowledge. Here’s why:

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He has no agenda

As opposed to a male friend or coworker, who may hope to sleep with you one day, or abide by some “male code” by not fully disclosing everything to you, your father has no agenda when explaining the mind of a man to you. Okay, he has one agenda: to make sure his little girl is happy. But is that so bad?

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He understands the women in your family

Every family is unique and as the saying goes, “Craziness doesn’t run in the family—it gallops.” Whether you like it or not, you have a lot of the same insecurities, beliefs, values and issues as your mother does. And your father knows all about them and because of that, he probably knows a lot about you. He knows what makes the women in your family tick.

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His testosterone levels are down

Your dad isn’t out there hustling anymore to be famous, or be the most successful man in his business, or be the hottest guy. He’s reached the age when testosterone levels drop, and that makes his head more clear than any hormone-raged man your age! Men past a certain age really know what’s important in life, and in a partner. Their vision is no longer clouded by the need to prove they are an alpha male.

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He knows what makes wife material

Your dad knows what a man looks for when seeking a wife. He knows because he sought one out himself once! He probably has a clearer perspective than your mother does on what you’re doing to drive the good ones away, and attract them.

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He’s already been every guy

He’s been the super selfish workaholic trying to climb the corporate ladder, he has been the finding-himself adventurer, unable to settle down, he’s been the player, he’s been the romantic. Your dad has already been all the characters that inevitably every man must be on his path to becoming a balanced, well-adjusted and knowledgeable individual. He can spot what phase a man your age is in from a mile away, and tell you if he’s in a phase that can handle a serious relationship.

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He knows your standards

You may not realize it, but absolutely everything about the way you were raised affects the way you see, well, absolutely everything. Your father knows you wouldn’t be happy with a certain lifestyle, or with a man in a certain profession, or even in a certain socio-economic class. You’re his little girl, and he has you hardwired to demand certain standards. Instead of you sampling every wrong guy out there, and every lifestyle via different men, you could just have your dad tell you when it will and won’t work.

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He knows what it means to sacrifice

Your dad has children. His life has not been about himself for a long time. He is the ultimate authority on what it means to sacrifice, what it means to plan every day with the needs and desires of other people in mind, and what it means to consider someone else’s wellbeing with every decision he makes. If anybody can spot out a guy that has learned to be a giver, it’s your dad.

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He doesn’t buy any BS

Because he’s given it all himself. Your dad knows every single lie and excuse in the book. He’s years ahead of anyone you date on the art of sneaking one past a woman. While your mother may still not have figured out all the lies your father tells, your dad can see right through anything you tell him about a guy you’re seeing.

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He doesn’t want you to settle

Your mom might push an agenda of dating a safe man, a successful man, a dad-material man. And while those things are important, your mom might be jaded by all of her memories of dating the “bad boys.” In other words, your mom is thinking, “Just please don’t date a dead beat.” But your dad is looking beyond that. That a guy you date can take care of you is a given—your dad wouldn’t give a guy the time of day if he couldn’t provide for you. And because his vision is so clear on that matter, he can pay attention to other things like: does the guy make you laugh? Make you smile? Give you cute surprises?

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He’s looking for his replacement

Remember, all a father wants in a man for his little girl is somebody that will take his job and do it well. Nobody cares about your health, your happiness and your quality of life like your father does. If a man can meet your father’s standards, you’re set for life.

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He can tell you in a way you’ll understand

Your dad has spent his whole life finding ways to explain things to you! He knows how to get you to listen, he knows what your best method of learning is, he knows how to put things in a way that you’ll want to digest. Your dad may not be fluent in the language of love, but he is fluent in the language of you.

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He won’t sugar coat it

Family tells you like it is. Your dad isn’t going to skirt around it if you’re being an idiot with your love life. He isn’t going to find a nice way to tell you that clearly a guy is cheating on you. And that’s good, because sugar coating only makes you think things are less serious than they actually are. Your dad doesn’t want you to spend another second living a lie, or not being aware of the facts.

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He had to impress your mom’s parents

You usually grow up to set the same standards for your children, as your parents did for you. In other words, the same things that impressed your mom’s mom will probably impress your mom. If you’re trying to get her to like your guy, just ask your dad how he impressed your grandparents. He is an expert in that area.

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He doesn’t want the details

And neither should you. You may have a long, drawn out story detailing exactly why and how a man you’re dating is failing to make you happy. Women love those details, and often use them as an excuse to analyze things, and give the man another chance. Your dad doesn’t want the details. He only needs to know one thing: is his little girl happy? And he can see that answer in the first sentence of your ten-minute story about your unsatisfactory boyfriend. He can help you see it, too.

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  • Kisses

    I used to think I couldn’t talk to my dad about men, even though we’re super close. Then I realized I had a habit of picking the wrong ones lol. I’m fortunate enough to have a dad who not only listened, but gave advice that nobody else could, because they don’t know me like he does! And trust and believe, pops has told me some stuff about myself that I needed to hear!

  • Nikki

    I know that not everyone has both parents in their life, but I think it makes a difference whether or not you have a mother-figure or father-figure in your life. A father (father-figure) is the first man a girl falls in love with.

    • Tamz

      I agree, my dad wasn’t very active in my life growing up but I have my uncles and now that my mother has remarried, I have my stepdad that I love dearly.

  • tesbestlife

    I agree that fathers are one of the best sources for relationship advice. However, I think that in order for women to actually give weight to what our fathers are saying, we must first know the truth. Fathers should not only dispense advice, but tell their daughters the truth about their past or present experience so that we–women–can connect with them as human beings, not just as dad, and understand that they know where we are coming from when we go to them for advice or guidance about our relationship issues. This is actually a part of the subject matter I explore in my book, Sweet Surrender: When Having That One Thing Means Letting of Everything. It’s also important for fathers not only to give advice but to actually BE the man that they would want their daughters to attract when they get involved in romantic relationships.

  • gmarie

    Must be nice.

  • Diva

    So true! I was in a relationship for about two years and I had all the signs in the world that it was not going to work. But like a lot of us do, I held on hoping things would get better. Well they didn’t and it wasn’t until my father sat me down and said “Baby, it’s not going to work”, that I got the point. It’s was like a weight lifted off my shoulder and right then and there I knew it was time to stop wasting time and move on. I had been praying for an answer and those words were all I needed to hear.

  • Crystal

    Wow!! I just had a convo about dating and relationships with my Dad on Monday night. He was truly a wealth of knowledge with very straight forward advice on dating. The ultimate takeaway from his advice: “Matters of the heart must always be resolved (especially past the age of 25).”

  • 1Val

    Nice article but too many pages to click on.