Don’t Hurt ‘Em! 9 Ways To Let ‘Em Down Easy

November 9, 2012  |  

Getting hit on is something most people experience – in the grocery store (usually when you look broke, busted and disgusted buying a can of beans), in the club by someone’s creepy uncle, in the church parking lot. The fact is if you have a pulse and someone likes what they see, you will likely get the moves put on you. But there is no guarantee you’ll want that attention, and there is an art to finagling yourself out of being boxed in by interested parties. Here are 8 convenient excuses to let down that Stevie-J doppelganger doing the Birdman hand rub at the sight of your booty.

I’m Taken

This really is a tried-and-true way to get out of having to deal with smarmy come-ons.  Even if you don’t have a boo, just make one up and mention his name as often as possible. It’s like a repellant. After a while whoever is trying to holla will get the point and back off.

Feign sickness 

Nobody wants to holla at a sick girl, right? If you look like you’re about to blow chunks people will clear the way. Just be sure not to pick a sickness that you wouldn’t want to get in real life (don’t want to jinx yourself with bad karma). So pretend to be dizzy/nauseous/itchy, and make a beeline for the door ASAP!

 

Fake an appointment 

This one is great for when you’re in a rush. When a creepy guy wants to press up on you, just point to your watch and act profusely sorry that you have to go. Because ‘sorry, I’m late judging that competitive sew-in weaving contest’ is a legit obligation. No really.

Pretend You Don’t Hear Him

This one is particularly effective when you’re wearing headphones. When he’s cat calling you down the street, start doing a little jig like you’re feeling the current track. Thing is, if homeboy decides to tap you on the shoulder, it’s pretty much over.

You’re not my type

This can range from ‘I’m not into men who wear bowties’ to ‘I’m playing for the other team’ to ‘I only date men taller than 5’5.”  Believability in this lie is key, so flex your acting skills and ham it up so they won’t suspect that you secretly wish their homeboy had hit on you instead.

 

 

Play Crazy

Now some guys like crazy girls, so this one may be hit or miss. First, scratch your neck like Tyrone Biggums. Then, look around stealthily and say “I think Longshanks is comin’ fuh me”. Then ask to borrow money. That should send whoever is trying to get next to you running for the hills. And if that doesn’t work, try the proven Fresh Prince method.

 

Be A Holy Roller

Nothing dries up catcalls more than a spiritual sermon on the joys of celibacy. Invite the person angling for your number to church, bible study, Sunday School, VBS, and choir practice. Also, you may want to get your pastor on speed dial and tell him you’ve met your soul mate and then put the guy on the line. That certainly has a way of evaporating interest from anyone wanting to get next to your ‘heavenly body.’

No Habla English

Pretending not to speak the language of your suitor only works if you know how to speak a second language and if they haven’t caught you speaking before hand.  If they speak the language you’re faking it could be awkward though, so if you’re caught in your fib you might just have to say “I’ve gotta run to the bathroom” and just never come back.

No.

This has to be one of the most direct, most effectively (and honestly most humane) ways to put down the Romeo breathing down your neck at the bar. Being straight up allows you to make a clean break without having to do a bunch of ducking and dodging. And that really is enough.

Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • ask them for money. all you’ll see is the smoke from their shoes. lol

  • Cakester

    None of this stuff is going to work in the hood! Ignoring them, saying no, you’re not my type… 90% of these will either get you cursed out or followed! I used to put my hands over my mouth, then when they would ask what’s wrong, I’d say, “I forgot to put in my teeth!” That used to work, nowadays, they’ll take you snagatooth and all!

    • Kiyoko Kayo Hisoka

      Aggressive behavior from Black men doesn’t only happen in the hood. Hell, even when I was in Vegas a man said to me, “You can speak!” and his woman friend said, “She doesn’t have to speak to you!” Mind you, this man spoke to me as we crossed the street with at least a hundred other people and with drivers who will lay down on their horn if people don’t move out of the crosswalk fast enough.

  • Kiyoko Kayo Hisoka

    There is no easy way. You just have to straight up ignore them.

  • ANTMilf

    Even when I told guys that I’m engaged to my fiance, they still trying to get my number, so I put on my Beats headphones and blast music from my Galaxy 3 S so I can fully ignore him.

  • gmarie

    There is no easy way. You have to be direct with men.

    • Kiyoko Kayo Hisoka

      But even then men think that they can convince a woman to like them or they convince themselves that the woman is lying to them about not being interested.

  • JaneDoe

    “Its not you it’s me.. I am just not ready to be in a relationship”.. Then slowly but surely stop returning his text/calls.. Works for me