I’ll spare you the whole “this is your civic duty” speech people tend to throw out when it comes to voting because that phrase always reminds me of those history of the judicial system videos that play at the courthouse when I’m called in for Jury Duty and no one wants to think about that daunting task right now. But what I would like people to think about today is that of all the lines you’ve ever waited on in life, from financial aid lines in college and lines outside the club to ones in the grocery store and possibly even some for food stamps ( if that’s you, you know you ought to be extra patient making sure your vote counts today), this would be the one that’s most important. So, if it takes a little time for you to get through the whole electoral process today I’m going to need you to simply smile, grin, and bear it for the cause. Mmmmkay?
This morning I woke up at my normal time to head out to my voting locale, conveniently located a block away from my house. I was pretty confident that at 7:15 am there might not be too many people in line and if there were, hey, what did I have to do that was more important this morning? Not everyone shared my mantra, and unfortunately the most vocal opposer to being silent and still was standing right behind me in line. Truth be told, I couldn’t make out much of what the woman next to me was saying between the hacking up of spit and the “ya’ll mother f***ers” and “sit yo a**es down” she would throw out every so often when she didn’t understand why the line wasn’t moving as fast as she would have liked, but it was clear from my point of view she was all turnt up with nowhere to go. Part of me wanted to ask, “mam, where else do you really have to be this morning in your brown velour sweatsuit and skully” because I was pretty confident once she fulfilled her civic duty she was headed right back to her apartment to smoke another pack. But by the time she had to bust out her inhaler because she’d worked herself up so much over a line that was actually moving pretty quickly, I realized it wasn’t even worth it.
Despite not being born with a patient bone in my body, voting is just one of those things that one, I expect will take some time to do, and two, I know is worth every minute. I don’t know what had hoodie ma so amped up this morning but coming from a person who didn’t have the best start, I needed her to chill out. See, I was literally pooped on by a pigeon as I walked to my polling location today, and I brushed it off — with the paper towel I just so happened to grab on my way out the door no less. Unfortunately, when I made it to my district line indoors, a different woman behind me pointed out that I had some white stuff in my hair and asked could she get it out for me. I then had to deny her generous offer and explain that it was bird poop in my hair and not Pink Luster’s moisturizer as she thought, and then proceeded to take her napkin and wipe the gunk out of my head shamelessly. See if I could be chill in line after that, I don’t really see what everybody else was bugging about.
I know it’s in New Yorkers’ nature to be impatient but I’m sure people across the globe are experiencing all sorts of “my time is more valuable than yours” characters at the polls who for some reason can’t fathom more than 20 people in their neighborhood wanting to exercise their democratic right just like them. Now if someone is trying to suppress your vote or give you the runaround about casting a ballot, then by all means crank up that 2 Chainz and start a riot, but if you find yourself asking why isn’t there a VIP line at the polls I’m going to need you to get yourself together and remember what this process is all about. Besides if you think like that, you’re probably not voting for the right guy anyway. Just kidding *wink, wink*
Have you come across any angry, impatient voters this morning?