Daddy’s Little (Make That Big) Girl: 10 Ways Dads Empower Their Daughters

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November 8, 2012 ‐ By Toya Sharee
"Father and daughter pf"

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Either I’m getting old or a majority of hip-hop nowadays is misogynistic garbage.  Now you know I am not the one to go blaming hip-hop for the reason some females have low self-esteem and relationship issues. In fact, you might even catch me in the club twerkin’ it myself on any given Saturday.  But there’s a time and place for gyrating in your freakum dress to songs like French Montana’s “Pop That” and Juicy J’s “Bands Will Make Her Dance.”  I just wish there were more variety for our young women to choose from besides songs that glorify having a big booty and bouncing it for some change.

Degradation and disrespect of women is nothing new, so it would be unfair of me to blame today’s hip-hop community for the massacre of the black female image.  Let’s be real, Mitt Romney of all people believes womens’ bodies should still be at the mercy of federal laws.  But even in a world where women are commonly referred to as b***hes and h*es, I was always assured that it wasn’t going down in my childhood home.  I’d like to think a big reason why I have so much respect for myself and refuse to allow my self image to be at the mercy of male judgment was because I had the good fortune of having an involved father.  By involved, I don’t just mean being there and paying bills.  I mean having a father that treated my mother with respect and schooled his daughters on life, love and everything in between.

When a young girl has no positive examples of black men in her life, she may internalize the messages she sees in the streets and on TV and use them to define her womanhood.  I mean, let’s be honest, to most young girls nowadays being called a “bad b***h” or “5-star chick” is the highest form of flattery.  I don’t want young women to feel like they have to compromise their integrity to become successful or loved.  But so often, young women receive mixed messages from men that tell them just that. Many fathers don’t realize the powerful influence they have over how their daughters feel about themselves and relate to men as they grow older.  Here are 10 ways that dads truly do make a difference:

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  • SGTDad

    Great article, but I had a real good laugh when a close female friend of mine pointed out that the model with the condom in her hand is actually an adult actress. Bet she didn’t have a strong male presence growing up…

  • 1Val

    Great article. More men should be vested in fatherhood eliminating “need” for this article.

  • Allie

    #2 is huge, my mother and father got a divorce a long time ago, so long that i had barely any memories of them even being together, but my father would go to bat for my mother any day of the week, and even though we live in different states, he is still a very active part both my brother and i’s lives

  • http://www.facebook.com/Queentobe1980 Kimberly Simmons

    Love this article… I am a daddy’s girl and if it was not for #10, then i dont know were i would be sometimes… I appreciate being my daddy’s “son” when it came to car repairs and hooking up the tv to cable because these days finding a male to help with these things almost ends in an argument because they are expecting something. Having a father in a girl’s life will truly keep her self-esteem from faltering. There are guys out there who are determined to break down a “daddy’s girl” so that she can he “his girl”…

  • http://blackonpurpose.blogspot.com/ gryph

    great article. sensible for the most part.
    more of this please!

  • bits

    I was not a daddys girl although i really wanted to be. My father was there physically every other weekend but emotionally there was definitely a disconnect. I have grown to resent my dad and that fact really has effected my personal life with men (relationships). I really don’t understand men even though I would like to. My perception of men has definitely been shaped by fragments that I have pieced together from media, men passing in and out of my life and other outside influences. therapy has been working a lot. It would be great if in general people understood the importance of addressing the fact of a womans past with her father before judging her on the decisions she makes in relationships. a lot of that stuff is subconscious.

  • Mother

    Forwarding this to my ex husband. This is right on time, and very well written.