Don’t Do It: Mistakes That Will Make Your Wedding Day A Nightmare
With so many big things to pay attention to on your wedding day, any bride is prone to letting a few details slip through the cracks, or just saying, “Whatever you think is best” when the planner asks about the 500th decision that day. But sometimes, the seemingly little things can throw a big wrench in your big day.
The cash bar
Having a full open bar, with beer, wine and various hard alcohols, can be pricey. But you probably worry offering only beer and wine won’t satisfy all guests. But don’t open up a second bar—a cash bar—where guests can pay for certain cocktails. Not only does this draw attention to the fact you were trying to save money on the drinks, when perhaps your guests wouldn’t have even noticed if there was just beer and wine, but that’s also one more person you have to pay for to man the cash bar.
It might feel disrespectful to that long, glorious gown, or perhaps too informal, or maybe you’re just a shoe fiend and can’t imagine skimping on the footwear on your biggest day. But know this: nobody notices your shoes! Usually they’re covered by the dress, but even if they’re not, all the focus is on the dress, and on you and your big smile! You know from your partying days that nothing ruins a night like needing to sit down every thirty minutes to handle your blisters, or take your shoes off altogether. Wear flats.
Keep DJ requests limited
Your DJ knows what he is doing. He knows how to carry on the flow of a wedding. He knows what kind of energy people want in their music, and at what times during the event. Allowing too many guest requests can mess up the flow of the wedding. And who knows—somebody might request a song that you can’t stand, or that even brings up bad memories for you! Make a list of “don’t play” songs for your DJ, and give him the authority to only play requests that keep with the flow of the event.
Pay for what you actually care about
What matters most to you? Having absolutely everybody there? Having impeccable food? A gorgeous setting? Pinpoint it, and budget the most for that. Be willing to go cheaper on other things, so you can afford what you really want. Don’t think about impressing people. If you want all of your friends there, but had to cut certain guests to afford the expensive yet impressive caterer, you won’t be happy on your big day. You’ll just be thinking of the people you wish were there.
Be willing to step back
Your mom/grandma/mother in law will want a say in certain things on your wedding day. Of course, stick to your guns on things that really matter to you. But too many brides refuse to bend on little things that their mother (or somebody important) wants different, and the stress caused by that fight is more upsetting than simply bending on that one detail. A few differences in opinion are inevitable when planning such a big event. Being compromising will make you happier on the big day, than having everything your way, but having angered your mom.
Schedule fittings accordingly
Once they find the dress, too many brides put the dress out of their mind and move onto other details. But know that dress shops are notorious for getting in dresses at the very last minute, which can cause you a lot of stress. No matter how much you have to do, put aside time to do your first fitting well in advance, and have the final fitting about two weeks before the wedding—no less.
Remember, the tuxes matter too!
So much emphasis is on how the bride looks, that the men’s wardrobe can be neglected! But you’ll be embarrassed if your father’s suit is misshaped, or if the ring boy’s tux is dragging. Get your men to their fittings well before the big day.
Delay the honeymoon
Movies make the wedding send away look so romantic, but don’t leave for your honeymoon the night after the wedding. Don’t even do it the next day! Weddings are exhausting in so many ways: physically from all the dancing and socializing, mentally from the months of planning, and emotionally from every touching toast and well wishes from guests. You won’t be able to enjoy the first couple of days of your honeymoon if they follow right after your wedding.
Have the bachelorette party early
If The Hangover has taught you nothing, then this point may not come through to you. But don’t have your bachelorette party the night before the wedding. And don’t allow your groom to have his bachelor party the night before, either. All that will get you is an entire wedding party that is hungover, exhausted and wishing they were in bed instead of at your wedding.
Have a coordinator
Your wedding planner (if you have one) is dealing with the caterer, the last minute decoration details, tiny tweaks to the procession. Designate a close friend or family member as the coordinator, letting people know where to go, at what time, and where to sit. Otherwise your guests will wander around aimlessly, and events could be delayed and have to be cut short.
There’s no such thing as too soon
If a question or issue comes up about your wedding, don’t think, “Oh. We still have months. We’ll deal with it later.” If you do that, what usually happens is that your friends and family end up doing all the work for you as you frantically realize you have the work of ten men to do. Remember: the only obligations any of your guests have are to get an outfit, get a gift, get to the wedding and enjoy it. Anything else they do for you is an act of kindness, not an obligation. So don’t expect them to pick up your slack.
Make no plans the day before
Things will come up. No matter how prepared you think you are, there are some issues that your brain won’t even make room for until it is finally calmed down. And that will happen the day before the wedding. It doesn’t matter how important your friend’s performance is, or birthday party or whatever. You are MIA the day before your wedding.
Consider your Bridesmaid’s budgets
This may be time to sit and think and see things you never saw before. Your bridesmaids may not all have been open about their finances over the years. Some may have been good at hiding if they were struggling. But think about them all: how often they go out for drinks, where they live (i.e. what their rent probably is), what they do for a living. Be realistic: can they all afford the dress, jewelry and shoes you want them in? Don’t take for granted that they’ll spend a bunch of money because it’s your big day. They have other things they need to spend a bunch of money on in life.
Let the pranksters know “no pranks!”
If you know that pranks will ruin the vibe of your wedding, the schedule of it, or sincerely offend certain guests, then let your prankster friends know that absolutely no pranks are allowed. Too many wedding pranks have gone drastically wrong, and even ended friendships!