Ways Men Think About Love, And Why Women Should Follow Suit

October 30, 2012  |  
"happy black couple pf"

We might call men self-centered, insensitive and narcissistic at times, but it’s those exact traits that can make their lives so much less complicated than the empathetic, constantly analytical female. Here are a few ways it would benefit women to think more like men.

black woman socializing pf

Plenty of fish in the sea

If a woman rejects a man, the man sees it as part of the game and moves on to hit on more women. It’s all a numbers game to men and they know they’ll have to take some ego hits before finding someone. Women can feel so defeated after one interaction gone wrong, that they give up on meeting guys altogether for that night. But nobody was ever successful that wasn’t willing to take risks, over and over again. And that includes in love.

"black man woman date pf"

Now I get to play the field!

When a man breaks up with his girlfriend, part of him is sad. But most men, while they are sad, are simultaneously very excited for the prospect of getting out there again and meeting/dating/sleeping with new people. Women tend to wallow for longer, and deny themselves the pleasure of being excited to play the field. But it would make breakups much easier if they’d look at it as men do!

"Unhappy couple on the couch pf"

 

“Nothing is wrong,” means nothing is wrong

Even though, something usually is wrong when a woman says, “Nothing is wrong,” to the pleasure of most men, they actually believe that nothing is wrong. Women could benefit from believing the same when a man says, “Nothing is wrong” because (and lucky us) men actually mean it! They don’t fear saying what’s bothering them like most women do. If something were wrong, they’d just say it. So stop racking your brain trying to “figure him out” when he says nothing is wrong, and just move on with your day.

 

"Couple arguing pf"

She doesn’t make me happy, so I’m out

Women often reprimand men for being this way, but they are very concerned with their own happiness. But, women could take a page out of their book on this one because they can be too forgiving/understanding/compromising. If a man doesn’t make us happy, we often make excuses for him and try to understand where he is coming from. And this often leaves us in an unsatisfying relationship for years. Meanwhile most men see it simply as, “If she isn’t making me happy, there’s no reason for me to be with her.” And, when it comes down to it, they’re right.

"black couple on a date pf"

Does she impress me?

They can come off as jerks, but a lot of men approach dates with the, “Let’s see if she can impress me” mentality. Meanwhile, a lot of women approach dates highly insecure, and wanting to be the ones making the impression, rather than being impressed. This can leave them wondering the entire time, “Does he think I’m funny? Attractive? Smart?” and they forget to ask, “What a minute…do I think he is funny? Attractive? Smart?” and can be trying to impress a man that, if they’d stopped and focused, they would have realized they didn’t even like.

"Group of guys drinking beer pf"

What my friends think does matter

Women can be so stubborn when in love. We will ignore advice and warnings from our closest of friends that have always had our backs and know us through and through. Think of all the women you know that have boyfriends that none of their friends like? There are probably a few. Men, however, care greatly what their friends think of their girlfriends. In fact, they’ll often leave a girl if their friends insist she’s no good for them. Women could avoid a lot of heartbreak and unsatisfying relationships if they’d listen to their friends as much as men do.

"happy black couple pf"

I want to see her, so I’ll see her

Men go after what they want. If a guy is into you, he asks to see you. And if he wants to see you the very next day again, he asks to do so. Women have a lot of strange ideas like, “If I see him two days in a row he’ll get tired of me” or “If I text him back too soon he’ll lose interest in me.” But when it comes down to it, you don’t want to be with a guy that gets scared off by something as insignificant as a quick text reply. If he does, he wasn’t into you to begin with. When a man likes a woman, he goes at it with full force. He wants to find out quickly where this thing can go. Instead of playing games, women would benefit from doing the same. We’d find out sooner if a man didn’t like us. Or we could be happier sooner, if he does.

Couple in bed

She’s just not in the mood

Society tells us that men are such sex fiends that something must be wrong with us when they reject our advances. But, men are humans too! They get stressed/tired/in their or heads/feel unattractive sometimes. When a woman says, “I’m not in the mood tonight,” rarely does the man take it personally. So many fights and insecurities could be avoided if women would see things that way when turned down by their men.

"Couple eating breakfast pf"

If I don’t like her, I’ll keep it casual

Women often feel the need to make everything with a guy something. If sleeping with a guy casually, they eventually feel like they need to keep him posted on their weekend plans, go out to dinner with him, and take things in the direction of a relationship, even if they didn’t feel head over heels for the guy. Men are much better at keeping their boundaries when they want to keep things casual. If women could do that, they’d avoid confusing feelings and unnecessary “breakups.”

"Wedding pf"

I know I’ll get married

You can hear a totally single guy say with confidence, “I want fill in the blank food at my wedding” or “I’ll take my wife to vacation at fill in the blank.” Men that have no girlfriend and no prospects truly believe they will get married. And you know what? They probably will. Meanwhile, women feel ashamed or sad to talk about their hypothetical weddings if they’re single. The concept just makes them depressed when they have no prospects. But that type of negativity is exactly what keeps some women single forever. Think like a man: know you will be married one day, and you probably will.

"black couple arguing"

She wasn’t very nice to that server…

A man gets very turned off if his date is rude or anti-social towards other people, even if she is a total sweetheart to him. Yet somehow, a woman can often overlook how a man treats other people, so long as he treats her well. How many women do you know with boyfriends that are complete jerks to most of the world? Probably quite a few. But eventually that person’s overall negativity seeps into the relationship. Women would benefit from caring early on how a man treats everyone, not just them.

"Couple playing video games pf"

I’m not myself around her, so I’m out

Perhaps it’s because of the time crunch women feel they’re under to meet a man, that they’re more willing to change who they are to do so. There are a lot of female “relationship chameleons” that get totally into tennis/the opera/scream music if that’s what their partner is into. But, in the end, nobody is happy if they cannot be themselves. Men tend to stick by their character more and are very aware if they’re unable to be themselves around a woman, and end it. Women would save themselves a lot of time and trouble if they’d hold themselves to the same standard, of only dating people they can be themselves around.

"Awkward first date pf"

No chemistry means no chemistry

A man goes on a date with a woman and if he doesn’t feel physically drawn to her, he doesn’t want a second date. A woman goes on a date with a man, and even if that chemistry isn’t there, if he is “good on paper” (nice, successful, comes from a good family etc.) she will accept the second date. But usually your body tells you if a person is right for you and if that initial chemistry wasn’t there, it never will be. Be like a man and go with your gut.

"Couple watching TV pf"

If nothing feels wrong, nothing is wrong

At a certain point, every new relationship calms down. That euphoria and infatuation wares off, and you just exist in harmony together. You’re still happy to be around each other, but you’re not ecstatic beyond the point of functioning. Men see this as a good thing. Women see this as a “problem” and often panic when they hit this phase, looking for problems to “fix.” Take a cue from the men: if nothing feels wrong, nothing is wrong.

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  • TS

    Women do this too, all the time, especially as they get older. Some younger women are like this. I know I am. My philosophy, if it works, it works. I’ll give my all. All relationships aren’t meant to last forever or wasn’t meant to be. Peace! It’s about how you value yourself and your self-esteem.

  • Anna2323

    I really disagree with #3- women may wallow in it initially more but it’s a healthy grieving process. I’ve see men try the play the field right after an LTR and it blows up in their faces months later when it finally hits them and by then the woman has already moved on for good.

  • 1Val

    Women should be primarily concerned with getting their needs met in love affairs. Everything else is immaterial.

  • Pingback: Ladies: To Think Like A Man Or Not? Ways Men Think About Love…Follow Suit? [Sex! Love! & Heartache Chronicles!] | Z 107.9()

  • JustSayin

    What is this list? It sounds random.

  • Kiyoko Kayo Hisoka

    This article gives men too much credit.

  • Na Na

    Surprisingly I actually like and agree with what’s on the list. Good job!