“Intense Passion Isn’t Sustainable” and Other Reasons To Stop Searching For Your Soulmate

October 19th, 2012 - By MN Editor

 

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From YourTango

I’ve never been a big fan of this notion of soulmates, and after reading an article about a 2010 study on marriedcouples who thought they were soulmates, my suspicions have been sadly confirmed. According to this social research conducted by Marist College in Poughkeepsie, New York, “soulmate” couples are at a higher risk for divorce (150 percent versus other couples) and subsequently disenchantment.

Two-thirds of Americans believe in the romantic magic of soulmates. Yet, if these couples are destined to be together inrelationships that are “meant to be,” why did their marriages fail so devastatingly? As a dating coach for women over 40 with ten years of experience under my belt, I have my own theories on what causes these disastrous circumstances.’

Here are five essential reasons why I recommend you stop searching for your soulmate right now:

1. Intense passion is not sustainable. The social research study shows that couples who consider themselves to be soulmates came together in a whirlwind of excitement and passion. Their happiness stems from intense physical chemistry that is most often impossible to sustain because this type of attraction tends to fade with time.

Read the rest at YourTango

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  • Chrissy J

    A soulmate is someone who truly cares about your “soul” NOT just short term Passion or lust.
    Unconditional love=soulmate

  • Miss D

    People tend to get wrapped up in romance and airs that people put on in social media. From what I’ve seen with my friends, those who talk about having a soulmate or being in deep, passionate love 24/7 are the ones fighting and making up every other day. Romance novels and chick flicks are fiction, so a stable relationship isn’t going to sound like something out of a movie.

  • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

    I believe I married my soulmate. We are bestfriends before we are anything and I think that is the most important aspect of our marriage. We actually enjoy being around each other and hanging out. He gets me. Yes the passion and attraction is off the chain but it was built on a platform of mutual respect and friendship.

  • L-Boogie

    I believe their is such a thing as a soulmate. However, passion or uncontrolled passion is dangerous. For example, a crime of passion…not good.

    • Nope

      I don’t buy the soulmate talk. IMO it’s kind of arrogant and self serving to believe that out of the over 6 billion people on the planet, roughly half and half, across the seven seas that someone was made just for little old me or you. Relationships are really just about timing more than anything.

      • L-Boogie

        Okay.

    • L-Boogie

      …there…

    • Miss Anonymous

      Wait, a crime of passion depends like the man who caught the man in the act of raping his child. He killed him there on the spot and that is a crime of passion.

  • Hi

    So what are the people that are still married and have been married for over 50 years considered?

    • maggie

      A stable couple.

    • L-Boogie

      Committed.

      • SamantaLove

        People that believe in the value of their vows to one another. They have morals.

  • JaneDoe

    I run from the notion of soulmate too.. Its really too deep and I don’t believe especially in these times that it really exist. I believe that two individuals can have a deep connection but that connection can dwindle over time.. Then what? Is that person still considered to be your soulmate?

  • Reese

    I have never been fond of the idea of a soulmate. I have met guys who I could describe as a kindred sprit but definitely not a soulmate.