Monogamy With Bisexual Brothas: Could You Date A Man Who Has Dated A Man?

October 25, 2012  |  


Anyone who knows me knows I am an absolute lover of gay culture ( I think they call it a “f*g hag,” but I’m not fond of the F-word), right down to my fondness for Lady Gaga, a fierce arched eyebrow and the nude beaches of Fire Island.  I love my ladies, but the truth is, gay guys have more fun and do they do it with impeccable flair.  I’ve attracted gay men in my bestie circle for as long as I can remember.  And while I like to think of myself as the most liberal rainbow flag flying ally I can imagine, I can’t help but still be confused by the concept of bisexuality.

I guess it’s because my experiences with my closest friends coming out have always been preceded by a prelude of bisexuality which I guess in a sense made me believe that bisexuality was some kind of bridge to all out homosexuality as opposed to a sexual preference in itself.  It was almost as if claiming bisexuality somehow made being gay easier to digest for others.  I can understand being sexually attracted to both sexes because sex can be as carnal or as completely physical as someone wants it to be.  Not everyone wants to always be catcher, sometimes you want to see what all of the positions on the baseball team feel like.

But pursuing a monogamous relationship on the other hand takes some level of commitment to a certain place on the field.  Worrying about my man getting excited every time something with soft skin and estrogen walks in the room is one thing, but to know that at any given moment he could get butterflies for the bouncer or the cocktail waitress, I have a hard time wrapping my head around that. What strangers choose to do in their bedroom is their own business, but what’s going on below the belt with my boyfriend is something I want the CarFax on, whether it’s a part of his past or his present.  And with me feeling like bisexuality is just the entrance ramp men take to the gay highway, dating a man with a bisexual past would make me feel like maybe a relationship with me is a last ditch attempt to truly make love work with a woman.

I’m well aware that there are all types of gay men, but we can’t deny that there are some stereotypes that gay men can’t seem to shake.  And as much as I love sipping lattes and shopping for skinny jeans with my gay guy pals, it might make me look at my boyfriend a little funny if he were to be bi.  I’m well aware that being attracted to other men doesn’t instantly make you a man-purse wearing, vogueing, card-carrying member of the LGBTQ culture and lifestyle, but there would be something about my guy possibly lusting after another dude that would bruise my attraction to all things alpha-male about him.

What bothers me even more is that this would be a completely different article if I were a heterosexual man writing about bisexual women. In fact, it might even be a top ten list titled, “Your Girlfriend’s Bi?  Here’s Ten Reasons Why You’re a Lucky Guy.”  In society’s eyes there is secretly something more hot and attractive about two women going at it as opposed to two men. Personally, I think that is the craziest double standard ever, but even so, the truth is that I’m not attracted to gay men.  I’ll shop with them in a heartbeat, but I hate feeling like I’ll be labeled “homophobic” because I don’t want to sleep with them.

When Gavin Rossdale confirmed rumors that flew about his former teen fling with a cross-dressing pop-star named Marilyn, I couldn’t help but wonder how Gwen Stefani felt.  Was she ashamed?  Did she question her own attractiveness?  Did she feel like their relationship was built on a lie?  Even much drooled actor Tom Hardy confessed to having flings with men in the past. But surprisingly, many women don’t share my same sentiment. In a YourTango article titled, “48% of You Would Date a Bisexual Man” readers revealed that bisexuality wasn’t a huge deal breaker when it came to dating a man. “Everyone falls somewhere on The Kinsey Scale (0 “exclusively heterosexual” to 10 “exclusively homosexual”), so I basically assume that most of us have either experimented or at least fantasized about it,” says Rachel, a 34-year-old writer.  Other readers expressed that adolescent experimentation or an isolated incident of bisexuality was acceptable, but an out-and-out declaration of bisexuality might leave them too distracted by the idea of their partner having a variety of options to actually be able to invest in a relationship.  The issue is that when it comes to monogamy, you’re kind of forced to choose unless you want have a plural marriage, so inevitably I would think that you would have to be attracted to one sex more than the other. If that’s the case, is that truly the line between heterosexuality and homosexuality?

I must say that bi-sexuality is a completely different beast that I still have a hard time understanding.  I understand the possibility of being sexually attracted to both sexes and even maintaining sexual relationships with both genders, but what happens when it comes to pursuing a real monogamous relationship? Maybe I need to get out more, but I still can’t help feeling that bisexuality is a red flag of a sexual preference with a little less variety.

Could you date a man who was admittedly bisexual? 

Toya Sharee is a community health educator and   parenting education coordinator who has a passion for helping young women  build  their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual  health. She  also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about  everything from  beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter  @TheTrueTSharee or visit  her blog Bullets and Blessings .


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  • bubblegoth

    I saw this when I was trying to come to terms with my
    bisexuality. In a weird way it helped. I’ve learned to accept that people will
    judge, even allys and members of the lgbt community. Based on all of this I’ll
    lose a lot of dates but I’m gonna be honest about my biness. I saw the damage
    lying does after my aunts divorce (other story).

  • ClaimYourVoice

    Wow. Well, thanks for writing this. I can see that you were still working this out when you wrote it. Its a good thing that youre at least “thinking” it through.

    I just wanted to point out that sexual preference and sexual orientation are two different things. A person can find themselves attracted to multiple genders but prefer one over another in relationship. The fact that they have a preference doesnt change their orientation.

    Also, many bisexual men are, in fact, monogamous. They simply choose to confine their sexual activities to one partner, much the same as a str8 or gay person does. Just because a person is bisexual, doesnt mean they “must” have sex with or act on their attractions to someone of another gender.

    Yes, you’re correct that, in some cases, gay men adopt the bisexual label on the way to embracing their homosexuality. On the other hand, that does not mean the many many bisexuals who identify for life are any less real because of what gay men do.

    It sounds like much of your issues are tied to your social conditioning about what male masculinity is supposed to look like. That is a very different issue than having issue with bisexuality. Being tied to a one dimensional model of masculinity that disallows men to be who they are will impact any and all relationships you have with men, period, not just bisexual men but heterosexual men and gay men as well. You’re apparent buy-in to the stereotypical caricature of what gay men have to offer is simply an extension of that conditioned expectation for masculinity.

    To your credit, you recognize your double standard and are questioning it. Good luck with resolving it, because the resolution is going to be a factor in your relationship with all men down the road.

  • Ember

    Straight guys aren’t attracted to every woman. Gay guys aren’t attracted to every man. Likewise, being bi does not turn a guy into a frothing fountain of mindless lust who will sleep with anything with a pulse. A bi guy can fall in love and have a monogamous relationship with someone of either sex. It doesn’t mean he needs both at the same time, it just means he is able to be attracted to either. Plus, bi isn’t necessarily 50/50 attraction, it can be mostly straight or mostly gay.
    Do you sleep with everyone you’re attracted to? Or do you just appreciate that they’re good-looking?
    Look at it this way: he had the chance to choose from a whole lot of people, but he chose you. How special must that mean he thinks you are?

  • if I myself were bi- I probably wouldnt have a problem I would understand him, but no my straight self would not date a man who is attracted to men

  • i even wonder about a man who wants to have anal sex with a woman.

  • Janeben

    Many men have told me that “bisexual” men are really just gay men. I’ll take their word for it. So, no I wouldn’t date such a man. There’s nothing in it for me. They’re out to sell me a dream and nothing more.

  • Tishy

    For me personally, it would depend on a number of factors. Life is not black and white, neither is sexuality.

  • get real

    Let white daddy become a “former” gay or is bisexual, you would work with him, pray about it and fight to the end huh ladies? Lol.

  • 305MovesLikeDagger

    lol I would not date a woman that has KNOWINGLY dated a guy that was bisexual.

  • Ai

    HELL NO.

  • PosterGirl

    Please. My husband and I are both bi, and that was one of the first things we discussed. I’m not worried about him leaving me any more than he has to worry about me leaving him.I have no problem with him being attracted men–we can watch a fine brother walk by and laugh at the fact that we have the same reaction. As for being on the down low, he’s seen enough examples of that to realize that honesty is the best policy.

    • LordHaveMercy

      How pathetic. You both really need Jesus

      • Sheena

        Lmfao!!!! They need God!

    • Is It 5:00 Yet?

      That is quite disturbing.

  • IllyPhilly

    Yes I’ve dated men who have dated men. “Straight” men will lie about s3xual partners, STD’s, and the same things people are afraid gay men give to the public. Open-minded is open-minded. I don’t see the stigma that bi-men receive but not bi-women. Isn’t the “hellfire” the same for both??

    • Jayde

      Exactly. And bi women do also receive stigma, but it’s a different stigma. Not necessarily worse or better. Bisexual women are said to be lying to get attention, promiscuous, actually straight trying to impress a guy, or going through a phase. Bisexual men are (although you can just check this thread, plenty of examples) also considered promiscuous, prone to stds, cheaters, gay men pretending to be straight or simply greedy.

      I find it interesting how, if you say you’re a bisexual girl people assume you’re straight (i.e. attracted to men) and if you say you’re a bisexual guy people assume you’re gay (i.e. attracted to men), funny no? XD

      • IllyPhilly

        I agree. I think people focus too much on this subject and not something important like the state of the public school system.

  • conscious

    Its fine and dandy for people to defend certain groups of people. But, yet in their form of defense they are spewing out phrases or names that maybe seem harmful in return. Hyprocrite i think is the word. I become sick and tired of how people want you to be politically correct and beyond for the sake of hurting one’s feelings. But turnaround and call you a homophobe, when no one is bashing homosexuals or bisexuals. Or you cannot use the word “preference, lifestyle, etc.” What most of us are saying is to each their own, different strokes for different folks.. i think u get the idea. We know you are an “expert” on the LGBT community. But To try and make everyone out to be a villian because they are not open to dating a Bisexual man is just false. Its a turnoff for me. plain and simple.

    • Jayde

      Are people very offended by being called homophobes? It’s not an insult.

      The people on this thread are not “villains” they are being close-minded and judgmental. That is harmful. I am not being “PC and beyond”, I am protecting those close to me who would be hurt by these comments. You forget why we have PCness, it’s to stop hurting people. Not to annoy people who “just want to express themselves” or something.

      I am entirely for different strokes for different people. In fact I have left a few replies alone since they have no expressed truly homophobic sentiments but simply “I don’t find men who are attracted to men attractive”. BUT I do have a problem with those stereotyping bisexual men and judging them by their sexualities.

      We are all more than our sexualities. So yes, that is why I am defending bisexuality – So far I have been told it does not exist, that bisexual men are gay in disguise, those are the people I am against. That is all.

      • Na Na

        It is not being harmful to disagree with someones opinion…..even if it is regarding gay people.

  • Nicci

    Sure would. But he would have to let me watch!!! #judgeme

    • Na Na

      Ha Ha Ha!! I guess you can’t win for loosing. If you won’t date a bisexual men, people give you thumbs down. If you will date a bisexual man people give you thumbs down.

  • editorn

    I will date any man whom I love, care for and respect and that does the same for me regardless of sexual orientation. Because at the end of the day preference doesn’t matter.

  • Jayde

    In this thread and article: Homophobia, biphobia, stereotypes and general discrimination.

    How about this? Hell yes, yes I would date a man I love, care for, and respect regardless of being bisexual. Stop getting into relationships with men you can’t trust and start building relationships on communication, trust and love. Paranoia, and jealousy are a recipe for absolute destruction.


    • GeekMommaRants

      Huh? Boys who like boys are not boys who like girls. How do you trust a guy who can meet someone and be intimate 5 minutes later. Gay men can do this! They need no name and conversation, nothing just drop and go. Really?

      • Jayde

        Ah spoken like a person who knows so many gay people! Oh no wait. Boys who like boys and who like girls are bisexual. Unless you were confused. Not gay and just trying out the ladies. Not gay and trying to cheat you. Bi (= two), sexual (= refers to attraction).

        Also gay men can do this? So can straight men. And straight women. And gay women. And bisexual men. And bisexual women. Actually, let me simplify = people have sex. Sometimes five minutes after meeting someone. Sometimes 5 years. It’s not got anything to do with sexuality.

        How do you trust a guy though? All of you who have to check if he’s checking out a waitress? Or that girl in the street? Or that girl at a party? How can you trust them? How are bisexual men different? If a man’s gonna cheat it has nothing to do with sexuality. If he isn’t, that doesn’t have anything to do with it either.

        • GeekMommaRants

          Actually, I have a lot of gay friends. Therefore, I’m very familiar with terms as “Committed Relationship” i.e. all men cheat. so theres no problem with gay men.

          Jayde, I think the goal here is two people on the same page. This would require being in the same book.

          • Jayde

            I think my comment here got deleted? Or lost somewhere in the interwebs.

            Allow me summarise: Not all men cheat.

            Oh that was simply. (Oh and that “all men cheat” is sexism based on the notion that all men are the same, and boys will be boys and cheat. But no, sorry if you’ve been cheated on, not all men do.)

            • GeekMommaRants

              Jayde, I have two dear friends who have partners for over 25 years. Their relationship is an open relationship with rules. This is what I mean.

              • Jayde

                Two dear male friends I take it? (Sorry if I assume wrongly but based on the conversation…) And they’ve been together 25 years and haven’t cheated? So… You conclude all men cheat? I’m confused again.

                • GeekMommaRants

                  Jayde, these wonderful friends have an OPEN relationship and yes, for 25 years.

                  • Jayde

                    OPEN does *not* mean cheating.

                    OPEN does *not* mean not committed.

                    Cheating means cheating. Cheating means there is a problem in a relationship, open relationships are a very important solution to those problems, if you’re want to.

                    Open relationships are a different level of trust, commitment and loyalty in a relationship. And believe me, cheating in an open relationship with rules is far, far worse than cheating in a closed relationship.

                    (For the record, if you personally cannot do an open relationship, that isn’t a problem, that is fine and your opinion.)

          • Jayde

            Oh! And can you clarify your page/book comment? I’m confused about what you mean.

            • GeekMommaRants

              Jayde, what I’m trying to say is some women date with the goal of marriage and children. That’s being in the same book and on the same page.

              • Jayde

                All women? Every woman in the world dates for marriage and children?

                And bisexual men never date for marriage and children?

                • GeekMommaRants

                  Reread below:

                  Jayde, what I’m trying to say is SOME WOMEN date with the goal of marriage and children. That’s being in the same book and on the same page.

                  • Jayde

                    Okay, and this may come as a shock to you, but I’m sorry, I misread what you wrote and I was wrong.

                    I realise admitting an error is rare in internet debates.

                    • GeekMommaRants

                      No worries Jayde! We’re having a spirited conversation. Thanks for your kindness and respect.

      • editorn

        How can you trust a guy who can meet a woman and be intimate 5 minutes later? You think that situation would happen in just a bisexual relationship? You can get cheated on whether you’re gay, straight or bi, to has nothing to do with preference. Why do you think bisexual men have no impulse control?

        • GeekMommaRants

          Can we just go back to Huxtable land? That’s all I want.

          • editorn

            We were never in Huxtable land, we just liked to pretend we were , lol

            • GeekMommaRants

              LOL– you are correct of course. What I meant was a relationship between to straight people. My point is NOT a religious, NO! Just a point of familiarity. This new option is not a familiar option.

      • conscious

        are u serious! how do u know that every gay or bi man can be intimate with someone they met just 5 mins ago. In fact there a straight men who do this. what do u think prostitution is, or even parties that are geared towards hedonism. that whole comment is laughable.

    • JaneDoe

      Go on and put ur life in danger.. Not cosigning this b.s. People should have standards that others should meet in life and not condone b.s. If that up there is urs more power. Wrap it up

      • Jayde

        My standards include good grammar. Oh and not lying and cheating and passing STDs around, those are kinda important too of course. ^^

        Put my life in danger? You are forgetting one, big, major thing – by judging bisexual men and men who have sex with men in general as wrong, and disgusting, and untrustworthy. Would you like me to drag up some statistics on suicide rates against LGBTQ members? Or how about statistics on how many LGBTQ members are killed by biphobic and homophobic people? NOW I am not suggesting you are actively condoning such violence – but you are. Sorry.

        So please. I will decide how in danger my life is, not you. And YOU need to think about how many peoples’ lives have been in danger from homophobes listening to idiots like you?

        • JaneDoe

          I’m not in school and this is a blog. Get ur head out ur azz. Your trying to justify slackness… Sorry I don’t bye it. But if thats your cup of tea. Enjoy it

          • JaneDoe

            *buy*. And another thing I love all people. Their choices might not be the same as mines but I don’t have to agree with them either

            • Jayde

              Okay question – are you saying here that you don’t agree with a woman who happens to be dating a bisexual man? Not a woman who went out of her way to date when, but she just fell in love with him and he with her and he happens to be bisexual. That’s her choice.

              Does that mean you.. disagree with that? Or were you talking about other choices? Just genuinely curious now tbh.

    • punkinhead

      Not a homophobe. Plenty of friends of mine are gay.Just because I am not romantically attracted to a bi or gay man does not mean I’m a homophobe. The man that I see myself with can’t be a man that likes other men. PERIOD. For me its not about competing with men & women its the fact that he would be attracted to another man. Cool for a friend, not for my man.

      • Jayde

        “Plenty of my friends are gay” – Is the one of the first excuses a homophobe has. I’m not saying you should be actively searching a bisexual boyfriend. But you are discriminating against a person just because they happen to have a certain preference.

        If a person said to you, “I am not racist, plenty of my friends are black, just because I’m not romantically attracted to a black man doesn’t mean I’m a racist” – What exactly would you think?

        • punkinhead

          I wouldn’t think they are racist, its their preference. I wouldnt care if a white person didnt want to date a black person as long as their reason isn’t because they are ” lazy, dumb, thugs, ghetto etc…” you know, all of those stereotypes. If they just dont want to date a black person thats fine. I dont want a bi man because I dont want my man to like other men. A bi man likes other men, thats not a stereotype thats a fact.

          • Janeben

            I couldn’t have said it better myself punkinhead. Jayde clearly can’t handle opinions which differ from hers. Even worse is that she’s clearly holding a minority viewpoint and doesn’t see fit to question why that may be. There’s none so blind as those who won’t see….

    • conscious

      Im not a homophobe, but i do not see anything mascaline about a guy taking it up the rear. So it turns me off. I agree with the fact that if u trust someone and communicate that will make a relationship flourish. But at the end of the day, in the back of my mind I know that he was a booty bandit lol. im sorry i could resist.

      • Jayde

        You really don’t understand bisexuality, do you? Firstly, bisexual man doesn’t not automatically equal “likes anal sex”, it just doesn’t. Secondly, even if a man does have sex, why is he automatically the bottom?

        That’s a lot of assumptions. Go research bisexuality a bit more before contributing.

        • Jayde

          I meant that, by the phrasing, you seemed to be assuming all bisexual men were bottoms and feminised by being bisexual. Which is entirely, completely untrue. Really though, being attracted to men doesn’t make a guy a woman! As much as I would never assume a woman was more masculine because she’s bisexual.

          It seems.. Odd to me that you would joke about it like that if you’re bisexual…

          (And yes, bisexuality in its simplicity is just being attracted to both sexes – so where does booty bandit and feminine qualities come into it? It has nothing to do with it… :-/)

          • conscious

            No hun I said hetero with feminine qualities because believe me they do exist. please reread the comment then respond..smh

            • Jayde

              “i do not see anything mascaline about a guy taking it up the rear.”
              Also implied in “I do not *even* like the idea of hetero men with feminine qualities” – That’s what I was referring to.

          • isis1319

            @jayde is the only person who doesn’t see how close minded she is

        • fighter&lover

          To both jayde and conscious…as a gay man that has had experience in this area, I find that many Bi men suffer from “disassociation.” They separate their “two worlds” of men/ women in their mind, but it causes them enormous stress and anxiety. They are always terrified of disclosure, and it prevents a certain level of emotional intimacy. It is also impacted by one’s culture. There is no such thing as a “masculine” gay stereotype in the latino & black communities. I dated a latin/black “bi” man who came out to all his friends, both male and female, except the one woman that he used as a “beard”. (he only wanted to use her car…!) Even though I cared deeply for him, I felt it unfair and cowardly and ended the relationship. He was devastated, cried for weeks, and then went back into the closet with the woman that he formerly used to hide from. He now lives trapped in a hell that I do not wish on my worst enemy, if I had one. Unfair and tragic to all concerned.

    • Jayde

      I’m sorry. Allow me to be more specific. I guess since I know a lot more about the LGTBQ community than you do, I can help clarify.

      “Internalized homophobia refers to negative stereotypes, beliefs, stigma, and prejudice about homosexuality” – Which is what I would consider the first paragraph of this article.

      Next, “a lot of actual gay folks don’t believe in it” – THAT is biphobia. And just because they’re gay doesn’t mean they are automatically exempt from discrimination.

      And hell. No. I WILL NOT stand by “don’t condemn folk that don’t believe in bisexuality”! Bisexuality exists.

      • OSHH

        Funny thing is you don’t know me to know who I know and it is very presumptious and ignorant of you to even make that aSSumption, I do happen to know and have known plenty of chirrens chile, and the vast majority do not believe bisexuailty exists……. simply because there is always a *preference* on their parts also and it is usually for the same sex. I tell you what though there seems to be no shortage of dudes who will sleep with both males and women, so knock yourself out!

    • Kelsey

      Bravo.. She is going hard for her own preference. Thats good for her but not everyone has to agree with it. And not everyone is a homophobe because we don’t

      • Jayde

        Please stop saying preference as if bisexual men are a fetish of some kind. This article is upsetting because it portrays sleeping with bisexual men as a preference or fetish, as if you’re taking a risk by doing so… A guy is a guy whether he’s straight or bi. It doesn’t make a difference.

    • SMHgurl24

      Agreed with you up til you said homophobes.. Yea I think many of these people are living a delusional life if they think all the people they’ve had relationships with were 100% straight but that doesn’t make them homophobes because they can’t picture their loved one (or ex) eyeing up the same sex. Some have standards in what they expect and everyone should respect that. Your absolutely right in saying that people should stop getting into relationships when they don’t trust their partner but as you know, many people are hard headed ;)..

  • Jessica

    No I would not. When you date someone, you have to worry about other women at times. I consider myself a strong 8/9 on a scale of 1-10. By nature, women compete with other women when it comes to men. Just how it is. No matter how secure or confident you feel, there is always that twinge of . . . .”Oh she’s pretty. I wonder what he’ll think of her when she walks by.” So you wait . . . and look ; ) Now . . . I don’t want to add to those parameters, and put men in that “wonder if/walk by” catogory. That’s too much for my brain. Not because it’s a man but because I don’t want to complete with them. Honestly I can’t compete with them. They have something that I don’t. That I could never have. Being real – I couldn’t stick it to him if that’s what he wants. So it is what it is. No I would not. I only want to compete with other women, and that’s it!

    • JaneDoe

      Thats a whole lot of work that your talking about lol… But I feel you. Can you imagine that? Ewwwwww

      • Jessica

        lol -I need to keep it simple and predictable.

    • conscious

      U r right to some extent. But this didnt come into OUR nature until coming into contact with Europeans. But thats another story. Its suppose to be a mans nature to compete and court us. Thats why we go through this BS. Then u add gay and bi men to the mix which turns it into a complete catastrophe.

  • ANTMilf

    Two words: HEEEEELLLLLLL NO!

    But it’s also sad that you have men who marry bisexual women and leaves me scratching my head.

  • Kelsey

    I had a good girl friend of mines a few yrs ago who tried to hook me up with her best friend. Turns out this best friend was a former homosexual who turned his life around but so what.. It changed me and homegirl’s relationship from then on bc I couldn’t believe the audacity of her to bring that to me as if it was ok. I don’t believe in reformed sexual preferences. I was disgusted.

  • Happening

    Short answer? Absolutely not no

  • OSHH

    I would caution all ladies to be aware, to really be aware, trust your intuition, and ask a dude upfront and very early on about his orientation, just to guage his whole reaction to the question, because alot of these dudes are not forthcoming with this type of info because they know it’s not something most women would want to deal with hence they lie/hide/cower/pretend/pose/front etc.
    The purpose of asking is to gauge his reaction, because I doubt you’re going to get an honest answer from a DL dude, My thing is if you gay you gay but don;t involve innocent people in your masquerade which is beyond cruel, selfish, and cowardly not mention its emotionally and mentally abusive to do that to women as wll as putting her whole health in danger.

  • Trisha_B

    Oh no. I couldn’t do it. If he’s bi that means he has strong feelings for men, probably more than women. I would feel i’m just a front and he’s gonna be messing w/ men on the side. We could be bestie’s tho lol

  • Na Na

    OH HELL NO! Period.

  • punkinhead

    HELL NO!!!!! maybe if we were the last two people on earth and the survival of the human race depended on us but other than that…. naw son.

  • Ladiebull 2020

    It was just comfirmed to me that the guy I had been seeing off and on for the past year is bi. I wasnt mad but had he told me the truth in the first place, we never would have been together. He just told me that he was with a guy last week because he didnt have a girl around! So no, I can never be with some who will sleep with whoever happens to be around at the time.

    • Jessica

      He’s lame. I dated a guy like that once. He wasn’t bi, but the concept of cheating was the same. I wanted to go out with my girlfriends one week-end. Since I wasn’t there, he met someone. So he blamed it on me since I went out with my friends. Like a dog in heat. People like that don’t need to be in a relationship. They just need to be hoe’s and drop their pants for whoever comes by. Their reasoning is selfish and has not logic behind it.

  • OSHH

    NO I would not knowingly date a bisexual male.

  • sabrina


  • Alexa

    -_____- I’ll keep this concise, hell no.

    • Na Na

      I am really interested to see a post of the opinions of the people who keep thumbing down these comments. Please share why you are interested in sleeping with a bisexual man?

      • JaneDoe

        Girl, scroll down.. Lol

        • Na Na

          Lol giiirrrl! I just did! But I’m still confused, outside of being labeled homophobic they give no reasons as to why this lifestyle is attractive to them.

          • JaneDoe

            Hot air… What she talking about I am still not understanding nor do I care to understand. It kinda comical bc she’s still not saying anything lol

            • JaneDoe

              *What she is* and *its* before the grammer police gets at me

              • Jayde

                You’re not understanding? Okay, how can I help clarify? I’m sorry if I’m not making myself clear.

                (And I’m glad I’m kinda comical, because you’re kinda comical too when you correct your grammar to something still wrong. XD (I’m not the grammar police, I don’t particularly care ^^))

          • Jayde

            LIFESTYLE? Oh god it’s worse than I thought.

            Sexuality is not a lifestyle! You’re telling a man that because he likes men then he is untrustworthy! That he is unmasculine, that he with cheat on you with a man, that he is gross! YOU are saying that to people for doing nothing except wanting to love someone! It’s not “attractive” it’s that I appreciate that all men have emotions and desires.

            All these comments saying how bisexual men are actually just gay and pretending to be straight by dating women. That’s so awful and upsetting. That’s why it’s homophobic and biphobic. That’s why I’m commenting.

            I want people to think about the hurtful things they’re saying and stop making assumptions about people. A bisexual man won’t cheat on you because he’s attracted to men, but because of the man he is.

            Lifestyle… Dear god. That’s awful… ):

            • Na Na

              Oh @Jayde dear how I was rocking with you until you started referring to me as YOU in all caps. First I have never said any of the above. MY questions was to people who indulge, what is the fascination, why do you find it acceptable? I am asking because i would like to know, and I would like to assume.
              Maybe your comment is just in general but since its @Na Na I have to assume you are speaking directly to me.

              • Na Na

                *And I would NOT like to assume…is what my comment should say.

          • editorn

            I don’t actively seek out bisexual men, nor do i know of any other person who does. It’s that if the person who I happen to be interested in at the time is bisexual, I don’t care. I’m attracted to the man, not his sexual preference.

            • Sure, his sexual preference isn’t of issue… WHEN YOU’RE CRUSHIN’ ON HIM!!! But, when you begin a sexual relationship, his sexual orientation sure as hell better matter to you.

              • editorn

                No, it wont. The worst thing a bisexual man can do to me is cheat, the same thing a straight man can do. There is no difference.

                • It’s all fun and games until you become an HIV statistic…

                  • Help Us

                    Drew smith … HIV and AIDS is not a “gay” or “bi” disease. It can be transmitted by a cheating “straight” male just as much as it can be transmitted by a cheating “bi” male. That was a very disrespectful and narrow minded comment.

    • pfft