What Lies Beneath: Are Women Afraid To Be Single?

October 17th, 2012 - By madamenoire
Single lady

Source: Shutterstock

From YourTango

“Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.” —Anonymous

As a relationship coach, I talk to a lot of single women. It’s pretty rare to find one who wants to be in a relationship, isn’t in one and is perfectly relaxed about it. There is usually some fear lurking under the surface.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that single women are living in fear; most are not. They have busy, happy lives just like coupled people. But when many of these successful, self-assured, independent single women let their guard down, most of them admit that they are afraid that maybe they will never meet “him.”

Many are afraid that their ship has sailed, they let “the one” get away or that the older and more established they get, it will only become harder to find someone who fits into their life. I get it because I was there too.

I met my now husband when I was just shy of 27 and although I was perfectly happy on my own at the time, I had my moments of doubt. Part of me wanted to “just meet him already” so that I could breathe a little easier. I thought that once I met him and it was clear that we were headed toward marriage, there would be one less thing to worry about, one less way my life might not go according to my plans.

Read more at YourTango

 

Tags:

, , , , ,
More from StyleBlazer
More from MommyNoire

Comment Disclaimer

Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN

  • Torontochick

    I am happier in a relationship and i don’t make any apologies for it.

  • bluekissess

    I’m not afraid of being single. I’m just tired of being single

  • Nope

    Before you (lie) reply, keep in mind that cuffin season is upon us. You know how you women get around that time of year….

    • Nikki

      Huh?

    • dang

      I hear that phrase all of the time.. can you enlighten me on what “cuffin season” is? And do men not get the same way?

  • me

    i am 21, never dated and love the single life

    • NiceNasty

      Same here, but I’m a year older then you. But don’t get me wrong I would like to be in a relationship, I jus get kinda scared/nervous to take the step. Anywho, being single is a good thing because it allows you to be comfortable and learn about you so when that time comes your more then ready to that that dive.

  • dang

    I love being single. But Im not the type that craves attention, or needs to be up under somebody. When I’m alone I’m a happier/ more peaceful person. I find it refreshing that I can come home from work and pass out and not 15 voicemails and 20 angry texts because I didn’t answer or call.( or be accused if cheating..smh) I’m gonna be honest and say relationships are more work than i I’m willing to put in. Its tiring having to worry about someone else’s feelings. I believe marriage is something people choose to do if that’s what the feel and I happen to be a woman that doesn’t have the desire to get married. :o )

    • dang( f auto correct)

      Excuse the typos…. i hate auto correct

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/NMJYFT6OYFTITFMJ2WJVBV2FAA Rehana

    After that I’ve learned to appreciate the autonomy and freedom of being
    single. I definitely will think before I get into a serious relationship
    again.I
    am beautiful woman and I love good man…..inter racial romance is my dream… so I
    joined —blackwhitePlanet.С0M—–it’s where to- connect with
    beautiful and excellent people! All a man needs is to get the impression that you aren’t paying them any
    mind and they have an inert need to “conquer” that which seems to be
    unattainable.

  • Nikki

    Every now again, I think of how nice it would be to have someone to go to bed with each night, wipe my tears when I’m sad, reassure me when I’m nervous, etc. But then again, I don’t think it will be the end of the world if I don’t find my soulmate.

    • me

      “wipe my tears when I’m sad”

      it is not guaranteed. in some cases, he might just be the cause of those tears lol

      • TRUTH IS

        TRUTH

  • sabrina

    I’m actually more fearful of being in a relationship than being single.

    • JaneDoe

      Girl me too. I just gave him the what are we doing conversation. Now that I noticed he is making he necessary steps to getting the ring.. Its really scaring the ish out of me. We are going from dating for 6 yrs to marraige.. I’ve always been able to be selective now I won’t have that choice. Scary thought

    • NiceNasty

      Co-sign 100%

  • wow

    The challenge. Women in relationships are no longer “trying” to be noticed so they are’t putting themselves out there to garner attention from men and I think they pick up on that. All a man needs is to get the impression that you aren’t paying them any mind and they have an inert need to “conquer” that which seems to be unattainable.

    • wow

      Oops I commented on the wrong article.

    • L-Boogie

      Reverse psychology…really?

  • L-Boogie

    No, all women are not afraid to be alone. Some welcome it.

    • sabrina

      lmaooooooo!!! after i finished reading the article, i came looking for you cuz i knew you would comment! im surprised you didn’t say stay single though haha

  • itsme

    I don’t care to be in a relationship, I was single for 3 years at one point, was in a relationship for 2 years after that, now I’ve been single for about 10 months

  • Nope

    No, women are afraid of being without attention.

    • Adrina

      Is it wrong to want attention and be loved by someone? or do you mean negative attention?

    • JaneDoe

      Lies

  • Reese

    Being single has never frightened me. I was in a 2 year relationship up until last year and after we parted ways I felt like I had come up for air after being held under water. After that I’ve learned to appreciate the autonomy and freedom of being single. I definitely will think before I get into a serious relationship again.

  • Ahoo

    I agree with the article. I can relate. I hope to get to the point where I don’t give it much thought

  • Kayo Halana Malie

    Not this woman. In fact, I don’t even care about relationships or dating.