If You Love Him Then You Should Put a Ring On It! Should You Pop the Question…To Your Man?

October 13th, 2012 - By Brooke Dean

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1. Have You Discussed Marriage Before?

This goes for a man or woman – make sure you’ve actually discussed marriage before you propose. The reason most people are nervous before they propose is because there is the slight chance that the other person will say “no.” Fear of rejection isn’t gender specific, so make sure the man you’re proposing to has actually expressed interest in getting married one day, and specifically…to you. If you’ve discussed the future…and he sees you in it, then chances are he’s responsive to marriage. He may have even hinted at proposing to you one day. If this is the case, you can sit around and wait for him to do it. But what fun is that? Do it yourself armed with confidence knowing he’d be a lucky man to have you as his wife…and of course he’ll say yes!

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  • Pingback: Tips For Women On Making Love | Girl Gets Ring

  • come on MN

    IF HE LIKED IT THEN HE SHOULD PUTTA RING ON IT!!!! *woah oh oh, woah oh oh OHH!!!* *sashays left…..shimmies right*..!!

  • come on MN

    MN always deletes comments with too much logic. SMH….

    • TRUTH IS

      Agreed! Quite the annoyance

  • Plumbline

    How many gals end up just living with a guy for sometimes years, hoping and hoping he will make the commitment……then one day, he just moves on…….at least ask them earlier on gals, what their plans are, at least for yourself……..so you aren’t left hangin, older, and dumped……

  • Nope

    Men wanting multiple partners is a part of ‘tradition’, but I never hear women advocating for this side of ‘tradition’. Someone’s getting picked, just not you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins

    hey,does anyone notice that this gendered thinking gets thrown out the window when it’s two women or two men in a relationship? saying,”hey,as a woman,you shouldn’t be the approacher.” seems,rightfully,silly when the one being approached is a woman as well. basically,i think that people acting or being told to act,in a certain way, because of their gender, is restrictive and unnecessary.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JAI4SRENU2A5WKRTELXXYJPDSI Kayla

    You should know by now at least for a lot of women gender roles are only ok, unless she directly benefits from it….. If she isn’t comfortable, or it favors men then it’s not ok.

    • Nope

      Basically. A la carte independence and convenient rights.

  • DoinMe

    Absolutely not! I don’t know why women are trying to switch roles with men. Proposing and aggressively pursuing a man is a recipe for getting dogged and it has nothing to do with tradition, but more to do with biology. Men and women are wired differently and seek mates differently. I don’t care what era we are in, there are some things that will never, ever change, and mating is one of them.

    • Nope

      Since you mentioned biology and tradition, I’m sure you don’t mind a man’s biological urge to seek and have sex with multiple women, right?

      • Drew Smith

        “Touché”

  • L-Boogie

    Stay single.

  • glad-b

    no, I think that if he has not proposed and you have discussed that you wanna get married…its a sign…if he is to lead your household, he needs to propose.

    • glad-b

      Remember when Charlotte in (Sex in the city) tells Carrie she thinks she proposed to herself! That is awkward..and taking the initiative too far! It is very important for a woman to communicate her intentions, goals etc to her man …but it is up to him to act/react on the basis of what she has told him.

  • Rena

    I’m old school and when the day comes and I’m in a relationship i think he should ask me. Plus how you stated some women dream of the day they are being proposed too. That dream would never be if i proposed. Great read as always!

    • Nope

      So are you “old school” with everything regarding male and female interactions, or just when it’s convenient for you?

      • sheena

        I wish you were old school and didn’t have the internet. You said you were married on another article. Does your wife work all day while you sit home on the computer and antagonize women on this site?

  • Nope

    My question for women who think it’s beneath them (in reality you’re just terrified) to approach a man….. how well has that been working out for you in terms of long term relationships, or better yet, and actual marriage??

    • Taylor

      Good Point! Women don’t approach men because they are scared of the pain of rejection, but the funny thing is how white women have no problem approaching men.

      • Kendra255

        Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.” It did not say she who finds a husband.

        • Nope

          1) The bible says a whole lot of things, most of which contradicts itself at some point.
          2) Do you follow or agree with the guideline of the bible, including ALL of the ones about the traditional roles of women and wives….?

          • Miss Anonymous

            Well what about the women who arent christians like those who follow Islam and Judaism?

          • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JAI4SRENU2A5WKRTELXXYJPDSI Kayla

            No

    • Adrina

      It’s been working out for me very well. But I see what you’re saying. Women should be a little more open to it. It’s all in how you approach a man to. But that rejection is real lol, and I’ve even been rejected before, but hey life goes on.

    • Miss Anonymous

      Well I told my boyfriend that I will propose to him but this also will happen too: I
      will be the head of the household (since I will be bringing home the bacon), I will join the army and he can be my military spouse, He will watch the kids (dont get me started on post daycare centers and their prices!!! lol), Stay at home, cook, clean, Support my military career, He can go to school when I get off of work at 5 pm, I will give him biweekly allotments from my check and have my bath and food cooked when I get home. He told me “HELL NO JUST TAKE MY MANHOOD WHY DON’T YOU” and said he will propose when the time is right because he wants it to be special, have meaning and to show me how much he cares. Also he has been proposed to twice by his ex’s and he canceled both because they cheated.

      Ps Blame my dad for making me think of being the head if im making the most money

      • Nope

        Exceptions don’t make a rule. Like I’ve said on here time and time again, for women any time = every time, and that’s just not very logical.

    • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

      Just fine. My husband asked me and it was quite romantic actually. And it isn’t ‘beneath’ me, I was just never attracted to that type of men who would even allow me to propose to him.

  • Native Gear

    Some women really need to start reading the signs men give them. Women speak with words, men speak with actions.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins

      such sexist bullcrap. honest PEOPLE speak with their words and actions.

    • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

      AMEN!! If within a year he hasn’t even casually mentioned marriage to you. Or if he says he doesn’t believe you need a paper yadda, yadda, yadda, RUN! Don’t waste your youth and time on someone who is with you out of his convenience.

  • Native Gear

    When will women understand that if you have to wait that long for a ring, the man doesn’t want to marry you!!! It’s not rocket science! That’s why when couples break up after long engagements, the man finds a new woman who he ends up wifing in a year. Some women aren’t marriage material period! Some guys keep many of you waiting around that long because he simply doesn’t know how to break it off with you. Men aren’t good when it comes to communication so that’s part of the reason why it could take them a year to tell you that they’re no longer interested. Stop being dumb ladies and stop being desperate!

  • me

    i would never. i will never make a move on a guy, will never propose, will never convince him to love me, stay faithful to me or be there for me. he has to want to. the best i can do is respect myself and only let those who respect me stay long in my life.
    i dont want to be reminded when he cheats “dont forget I did not propose to you, you did”

    • PhD_Chick

      ALL. OF. THIS. I 100% agree with everything you stated!

    • http://twitter.com/bagaybon Bagay Bon

      I don’t want to be reminded when a lady cheat on me too. Can’t a men say the same thing too?

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