Fall Into Your Feelings: How Autumn Will Affect Your Love Life
You may think your feelings, thoughts and romantic choices are all under your control. But, for better or worse, human decisions are subject to hormones, the environment and even the change of seasons (some say the full moon, but there’s no proof yet). See how the dip in temperature may affect everything from your moods to your love life.
You might date for the wrong reasons
The fall and winter seasons can feel lonely. While your social needs used to be satisfied with all the summer barbecues, or the people outdoors, now you need a new source for regular human interaction. It’s no wonder everybody wants to cuddle up next to the fire when it gets cold. They want not only physical but emotional warmth. For this reason, you’re more prone to dating somebody just for the sake of having somebody and not being lonely in a lonely season. So, be careful who you lead on or get involved with—ask yourself, “Would I have dated them in the summer?”
It’s a better time for true love
This is a very superficial observation but men are visual creatures so it’s worth noting: women look cute in beanies and scarfs—cute, not hot. And that’s how men read them. Men don’t fall in love with women in short summer dresses. They lust after them. But they don’t imagine bringing them home to mom. When the temperature drops, women are forced to cover up. And that gives less opportunity for them to just be seen as sexual objects. So the man that approaches you in the coffee shop when you’re wearing your argyle sweater and boots probably has better intentions than the one that approached you on the beach when you were in your bikini.
You may not meet anyone at all
If you suffer from seasonal depression, you might lose the will to go out and socialize. When you already feel down, you think you won’t be able to lift yourself up so you just stay in with a movie. But force yourself to go out! Depression is a vicious cycle and the more you indulge it, the greater it gets. But you’ll be amazed at how much your mood will turn around if you force yourself to doll yourself up, go out and flirt with just one guy.
You could become cynical
What do people do when it’s cold out? Stay in and watch movies. And what sorts of movies? If you’re a female, probably a decent amount of romance movies! Romance movies are filled with unrealistic turns of events, and painfully gorgeous men that fall in love with plane Jane’s just because she was cute while sipping her latte. Enough of these movies will undoubtedly give you unrealistic expectations for love, and the more times someone doesn’t fall in love with you in a coffee shop, the more bitter you become about love. Do yourself a favor and watch horror films.
There will be more coffee dates
Coffee dates, hot chocolate dates, fondue dates…anything warm and comforting in the cold weather. In the summer, most dates were drink dates. You either waited for the sun to go down, at which point coffee made no sense so you had drinks, or if you were out during the day you were craving frozen margaritas or cold beers. So, fall dates are more sober dates. And without alcohol, you won’t get all that false but enjoyable alcohol-induced chemistry you were feeling all summer. Why do you think summer flings are so easy to come by? Chemistry will be harder to come by in the fall but just look at it this way: if you do feel chemistry, you know (sort of) it’s real.
It’s a good time to online date
People are back at their computers! Their weekends are no longer filled with days at the beach or barbecues, and they’ve used up all their vacation days aka they’re back at their desks and looking for ways to pass the time until 5 o’ clock. People are back at their computers, and for all the reasons listed already, are looking for love.
Your self-esteem may go down
You don’t need to have a bikini body anymore, your happy chemicals are down due to the weather and food is comforting! So, you indulge in the office snacks a little more. Or you pick up a daily Caramel, white chocolate, calorie-loaded warm Starbucks beverage. But once the bikini body goes, even if you can cover it up in sweaters, so does your self-esteem! As far as your diet and work out regimen go, pretend it is still summer. If you feel good about your body, that confidence will show, even if your skin isn’t.
You’ll get to know your partner better
If you are in a relationship, once the weather cools down don’t be surprised if your partner suggests a little trip to the snow. And while the snow is beautiful and romantic, it’s also filled with frustrating half hours spent putting chains on tires, cars that need to be shoveled out in the mornings and two hour lines for ski lifts. Being in the snow is a lot of work and will show you your partner’s patience and ability to find the fun even in frustrating situations.
You can gage the sweethearts
It’s about to be the holiday season. The good guys will get you a small gift, even if you have only been together for a little while. The good guys, that are ready to share their life with somebody, will also invite you along to all the holiday parties they are invited too. The ones not quite ready to be in a relationship will pretend it’s not the holidays at all.
Your families will play a role
If you’re in a relationship, the holidays are a stressful time. You have two families but only one Thanksgiving. Does your partner make an effort to be at some of your family events? Does he invite you to his? The holidays are a great time to gage how serious a guy is about you.
Go to holiday parties!
It’s a great place to meet guys you wouldn’t otherwise meet. Think about it: during the year you can really only meet men at work, at bars or online. But usually the best matches are those with mutual friends or interests. And at holiday parties, your friends will often invite all of their friends, not just segregated groups. You could meet a cute guy that a common friend has been hiding away all year.
It’s a great time for introspection…or is it?
People love to journal when the weather cools down. Blame it on all of Jane Austen’s characters that loved the activity and somehow lived in perpetual grey skies. Journaling can help you understand your past relationships more, but be careful because it can also make you dwell on the past and indulge in self pity.
You’ll know who really makes you happy
Most people wake up significantly more depressed when the weather is overcast. Everybody is tolerable on a beautiful, sunny day but when the weather is funky, only those that truly make you happy can bring you out of your funk. Pay attention. Who do you really look forward to seeing when you wake up with the fall blues?
You see who’s a family man
The guys into apple picking, days at the pumpkin patch and planning Halloween costumes, those are the family men. Fall is a great time to plan family-friendly activities. The men that aren’t quite ready to settle down will stick to their pubs during the fall. But the family-ready guy will love a good picnic at a pumpkin patch.
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