What We Know For Sure: MN Editors Share Their Most Poignant Life Lessons

January 9, 2013 ‐ By




You cannot reward foolishness and expect a different outcome

This truth spans romantic relationships, friendships, and even professional partnerships. You cannot reward people for poor behavior and expect them to act any differently than they always have. A reward doesn’t have to be a monetary token, although in business relationships it typically is, but your simple presence in someone’s life and your decision to remain there despite not having your needs met is rewarding the other person. If there are no consequences to their actions, i.e. you are still actively invested in their wellbeing or paying them for services not up to your standards, there is no motivation for the other party to treat you better or rise to the occasion. After so many instances of poor treatment, the issue becomes yours and not theirs, after all, what indication would they have that they need to change if they are still reaping the same benefits as someone who is doing what they should? Not to mention, you will not be taken seriously if you only threaten to halt the rewards if things don’t change, yet you still remain in the various relationships despite the lack thereof. The only solution is to remove yourself or your investment from the situation in order to demand and receive a more positive outcome. — Brande Victorian

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