There’s Just Something About R. Kelly: Can We Hate The Sin, And Not The Sinner?

October 2nd, 2012 - By Charing Ball

There is something about R. Kelly.

Sure, there is the whole sex tape that allegedly shows R. Kelly engaging in sex with an underage girl, thing, which landed him in Chicago court for 14 counts of child pornography, unlawfully videotaping the acts, and producing child pornography. Not to mention, the drama made him the subject of the infamous “Piss on You” skit by Dave Chapelle. And then there was the non-payment of taxes to the tune of $5.8 million dollars. Do you know how many schools districts and garbage men that could fund?

Not to mention his cheesy explanation (not that we needed one so why even bother) as to why he divorced his wife: The Notebook, the love story starring Ryan Gosling. Said Kellz in his new memoirs entitled Soulacoaster: The Diary of Me:

“As the film credits started to roll, I couldn’t move. I burst into tears. People walking past me patted me on the back, trying to console me. ‘The Notebook’ was beautiful, and I was crying because its hero and heroine had died together,” the 45-year-old writes in the memoir. “But I was also crying because I remembered a Valentine’s Day — when a helicopter dropped a rainfall of roses — that had come and gone … My marriage had died. And there was nothing I could do to bring it back.”

Buahahahaha…. Somebody needs to snatch Kellz’s Netflix account before he gets “inspired” by any more touching romances. Also, I’m sure his ex-wife, who has claimed domestic violence and adultery during their marriage might have something different to say about why they parted, and about his interpretation of The Notebook.  So you see, there are plenty of reasons to dislike R. Kelly. Even a bunch of dudes calling themselves, Black Men Against the Exploitation of Black Women, have started a petition to rid and protect the community of R. Kelly once and for all.

However, there is something about R. Kelly that keeps him on top. What could that thing be? Oh yeah, he makes great music.

And I mean really damn good music. For instance, last week, I saw R. Kelly’s new video for “Feelin’ Single” for the first time and I have to say that the song and the video are both off the chain. The song is just straight-up soul. Who else but Kellz could make a song about cheating on his cheating girlfriend sound so damn smooth? It’s got that old-school Michael Jackson “Rock with You” vibe to it, where you just want to slide back in your rolling chair from the desk and get up and do a two-step around the office. But you can’t, because you are at work. So instead you head bop and hum it while you are waiting at the Xerox machine for your copies. Oh yeah, I’ve been there.  And did I mention that there is a very hot salute to Broadway in the middle of the video? *Squeal* I thought I was the only one who occasionally sings R&B and even hip-hop songs using a Broadway voice? Oh, you say I am? Okay I can live with that.

At any rate, R. Kelly has a strange way of making the most harden anti-Kellz critic into fans again. I know, I have gone off once or twice, or a few times, about the black communities undying support of him – even applauding after his acquittal of those child pornography charges. But best believe songs like “Happy People,” “Step In the Name Of Love” and a lot of his older stuff still gets regular rotation on my mp3 player (for those who don’t know: an mp3 player is for those who can’t afford the cost or the restrictive nature of an iPod). How is that possible?

Well, it was Mohandas Gandhi who once wrote in his autobiography that is was our duty to, “hate the sin and not the sinner.” It is coincidental that this message comes from him, considering that Gandhi, most revered for his non-violence approach to civil rights and freedom across the world, was also really bigoted to people of darker skin. But those character flaws are not how we choose to remember our heroes and artistic geniuses. Instead, we immortalized Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, James Brown and yes, R. Kelly too, even as their personal misgivings at times overshadowed their talent. Some of us even go as far as to make excuses for their transgressions.  How many times have we heard someone say, “Well, yeah the girl was too young, but you can’t blame R. Kelly for that. I mean, where were her parents? Surely this girl is no amateur.”

In her book Deals With the Devil and Other Reasons to Riot, Pearl Cleage speaks candidly about her inability to forgive Mile Davis, who had allegedly beat up Cicely Tyson among other women.  She writes, “So the question is: How can they hit us and still be our heroes? And the question is: How can they hit us and still be our leaders? Our husbands? Our Lovers? Our geniuses? Our friends? And the answer is…they can’t. Can They?”

Truth is that they can’t. No matter how well they dance or sing or rap or can blow into a trumpet. And it is hard to acknowledge one aspect of someone without it bleeding into the way you feel about them in their totality. While I’m not advocating we hate them and burn their records like Cleage suggest we do, we should be aware that the love for some of our favorites is complex. And more importantly, be able to say, yes, R. Kelly is very talented and on the verge of musical genius–but he is sort of a douchebag too.

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  • HI

    Why is this an issue if he was not found guilty? Elvis married a child and no one is talking about it . People lie about their age everyday. We have to stop judging some much and pray more for each other!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins

    AMEN.

  • chanela

    and this is why pedophilia and rape continuously get swept under the rug in the black community. “but he’s talented!!!”. just like the boy who beat up his girlfriend,so many people (including the girl) defending him simply cause he plays football. SMH

  • bkabbagej

    He has never apologized for his behavior in either situations (Aaliyah or that poor child in that video). Yes, that young lady may have performed as an adult but HE WAS a grown man and I don’t care how she may have behaved, for whatever reason, until he admits his behavior and seeks help, I can’t forgive the sin nor the sinner. If that child had been your 15 yr. old daughter that he married or used in a sex video, your niece or maybe a family friend’s daughter that had issues and ran away, would you bop your head and enjoy his music. His money saved him from jail and his fame and talent keeps people preoccupied regarding his character. God judges our heart and only HE can judge R. Kelly but God gives me choices and I choose not to support a person with his tendencies because people with his problem never stop being attracted to children.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins

      thank you for having morals. this man is a childrapist,sexual deviant. no normal man wants to,let alone “have sex with”(@#$!%,please! it’s called rape!) children. who knows how many children he has abused and continues to abuse.

  • kierah

    The more I learn about most people (entertainers especially) the less I like them. Never sit in the front row of a puppet show. You’ll only see the strings.

  • Jenn

    I was on my way to work this morning and 3 of my saved stations was playing R. Kelly (ATL stations) and I said he is back (if he ever left). I am a fan of his music and try to keep it separate from his personal life but I might be bias bc I’ve always been a fan…

    • You’re a FEMALE?

      You’re disgusting. Or maybe YOU lost your virginity as a child to a man who coulda gone to school with your father too. Just like one of them characters on the Boondocks cartoon. Go check your friends out on you tube.

  • hollyw

    First things first: author, you really need to learn how to spell Ghandi’s first name =|

    Oh, I can def forget him (and have), but forgive..? Girl, please. I’m a child therapist for children in the foster care, so I’m pretty strict on viewing these actions; however, I can say I started feeling uneasy about Kellz way before the scandals, as a young one listening to his music……and does NO ONE remember that he dated and secretly married Aaliyah when she was 15?!? 15, for crying out loud! “Age is DEF more than a number”, and he never publicly apologized or has said he has a problem.

    I was never really a fan of his music, so it’s understandably easy for me to judge his character; however, I’ve been equally as harsh with artists I did like. Sorry, I could care less about the majority of celebrity living, but pedophilia breaks the mold, and the reactions our community often has to these men, (*ahem* channeling Chris Brown) is disturbing, to say the least. Boo and bye on this one…

    • Charing Ball

      Actually Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi is the correct spelling of his name. Don’t believe me, Google it.

      • hollyw

        Point taken.

  • Meyaka

    And had he urinated on me, I would have beat him down with one if his long capes he be wearing.

  • Meyaka

    I like his music, but I can’t support him past buying a cd, or two. I understands everyone makes mistakes and need to be forgiven. I’m not mad at him at all, I just rather keep listening to the music and just leave him as a person alone.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins

      a mistake is something done accidentally. a choice is something done intentionally.

      • Meyaka

        Right, I guess I’m trying to be fair to him, what i really wanna say if F him, Chris brown, bobby brown and all the other women abusers, but I guess that’s too harsh …

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins

          harsh? not at all.

    • YoureGrossToo

      Would you buy an album by a man who seduced, urinated, and videotaped YOUR 13
      y/o daughter? Or would you have been the purchaser of the minor female’s lingerie?

      • Meyaka

        No I would not , I see your point.

  • Na Na

    Yeah, I personally cannot separate R. Kelly and his music. Every time his songs come on I politely change the tune. I’m just not interested.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins

      thank you for having morals. this man is a childrapist,sexual deviant. no normal man wants to,let alone “have sex with”(@#$!%,please! it’s called rape!) children.

  • Reese

    Some of the best musicians have the darkest demons.

    • Kells

      Some of the most talented people have deep rooted issues. Goes back to the bible days. I for one can’t help but to two step to his jamz. He makes hot music

    • chanela

      it doesn’t make it right for people to ignore it

      • Reese

        I’m definitely not saying R, Kelly is or was right. I’m just stating that many talented people have some terrible problems in their personal life. I definitely do not condone what R. Kelly did.

    • Must not have kids

      Myself included. However, seducing, urinating upon, and video-taping someone’s minor-aged daughter in these acts is some sick $#!T. Did anyone see the Boondocks cartoon interpretation of how most pathetic group-thinking black americans still support this baby raper—-just because he’s really talented. Not cool. If a female major celebrity seduced, urinated upon, then video-taped someone’s minor aged SON—-this site would crash from all the outraged comments and feedback. It’s bad enough this country is known for its double standards, but when black females are advocating and promoting them….it makes me glad I have enough sense to make sure my own kids are well-protected and turn out to be NOTHING like so many of these Ignorantes makin folks mistake Me for Them!!!!

  • IllyPhilly

    His latest music makes me wanna pee on him.