Why Do We Act As Though You’re “Bringing Down” Other Black People If You Have An Opinion On Their Work?

September 28th, 2012 - By Victoria Uwumarogie

Want to know what a real “hater” looks like? They’re the ones who go out of their way to go on every post about Beyoncé and say, “Who cares???” If you hadn’t realized it yet, you clearly care just a little bit when you take time to comment. They’re the ones who like to pretend like certain people can do nothing right, and every song or album or movie they drop is a complete fail. They can’t acknowledge the awesome moments without lacing their backhanded compliment with shade. Often, they work so hard to go against what the majority likes, that they relish in being “anti.”

But when did we get these “I-hate-24/7-as-a-job” folks confused with individuals who just happen to have an opinion about black folks that you don’t agree with?

“You weren’t feeling Red Tails? How can you not like a movie with a cast full of black men depicting black history??? Keep your negative opinion to yourself. Let’s stop trying to tear our people down and give folks some credit!”

Yeah, it can get that deep.

I’ve noticed this for a while, but it has really started to catch my attention in the past few weeks. An author for the site did a piece on why she was a big fan of Tyler Perry’s plays, but felt they didn’t translate well when put on-screen. As someone who has to keep her eye on our social media pages, I noticed that a lot of people had a lot to say about that story. Some commented and claimed to be more partial to his plays, others said they loved the movies more, and some said they just loved both–they were ridin’ for their man Tyler. That’s all fine and dandy, because a healthy discussion is what we strive for around these parts.

However, I also noticed a few people who felt that the author saying she liked his plays and wasn’t a fan of his movies was an attempt to bring “our people down.” One even wrote it in caps lock in case your vision was less than stellar (thanks for that…). And then I noticed this week that when we posted the new Rihanna song, “Diamonds,” some people liked it, some people didn’t, and for those who didn’t, a commenter questioned why people were so negative and that we needed to be trying to uplift her as she’s a global star. She’s made it folks! A black woman all the way from the Caribbean is doing big things, so I guess you can only say you like her work, her style and her conduct, or you could be confused as someone hoping for her downfall.

I’m all for uplifting our people, but does that mean we have to accept some things of poor quality with a smile and give the thumbs up just because the entertainer/author/artist that gave it to us is black? I can’t have a simple opinion about what didn’t work for me without it being deemed as an opportunity to hold my brothers and sistas down? C’mon now…

Once again, I’m all for uplifting the people, but when the people want me to spend my money to see their movies, buy their albums, or watch their shows, I have every right to speak my opinion if something isn’t working for me. There’s no need to get nasty with it of course, as that would be an example of trying to tear black folks down: “This dog lookin’ b***h looks stupid as hell!!!!” But when you’re stating an opinion you believe to be an honest one, and not a malicious one, and NOT to get kicks or be controversial, I just never understand when other people get their panties in a bunch. Especially when you’re not the person being critiqued. Take my statement with a grain of salt if it doesn’t float your boat, but there’s no need to question my support of black people as a black person because of a simple opinion.

I love my people (really, I do), but just because someone is black and I occasionally like their work doesn’t mean I have to keep my mouth shut or pretend something is a classic when it’s absolutely not. Don’t give me crap and tell me it’s gold and expect me to just go along with it. It’s great to know when an opinion isn’t one that needs to be voiced, but if somebody asks my opinion on a movie/song/book by a talented black person and I just so happen not to like it, I can’t promise you I’ll hold my tongue, but I can promise I’ll be tactful with it. Well, for the most part at least…

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  • Bella

    Sometimes, being a contrarian is what gets some people through the day. They feel it’s their right to hate and poo-poo anything that might be valid of praise. Sooner or later, that negative mentality will eat them up and they’ll have to choose whether to change or be more miserable.

  • Yokessm

    Well said, i think that a lot of times when people don’t have a proper rebuttal, they go ratchet, what grown and educated person calls someone a hater, for having a well though out opinion? i just ignore them. the whole stans movement makes me wanna move to an island.

  • pfft

    I feel the same way when I say although I am a life long voting Dem, I am obligated to like everything about Obama simply because he’s half black. Um..no. I don’t think so. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and that even includes peoples whose opinions we don’ agree with and no it’s not always jealousy, or “hating”.

  • Mel

    I just wanna be able to say ” I don’t think Tyler Perry is a very talented storyteller or actor” without being told I am assassinating my race. Or be reminded of how many people he has ‘given’ jobs. I mean, I could give some jobs to a few people, while also doing some real destructive ish on the side, does that make it all right? Then why, in TPs case, is that argument constantly used?

  • Hello_Kitty81

    Just because someone types “who cares” doesn’t mean they’re hating on her, they’re just tired of hearing about her like me! I do the same with Kim K, Nicki Minaj, reality heauxs and male rappers, I don’t hate, I was raised not to hate anyone, just tired of hearing and seeing them and I don’t want to hear “click on another site or change the channel”, you see them on magazine covers when you go to stores, but you can’t take them off the rack unless you pay for them and them burn ‘em, LBVS!

    • Just saying!!

      Yea…I must admit that there was a point in time where i was obsessed with Bey. But honestly…I hear about it so much now that everything she does irks me lmao. It’s not that I hate her though…but everything is so strategic and insincere. People get tired of that after a while…Haterade or no haterade!! (But going on every post to say “who cares” is a force though…but sometimes it does need to be said even though the authors never take a hint) lol

    • Just saying!!

      Yea…I must admit that there was a point in time where i was obsessed with Bey. But honestly…I hear about it so much now that everything she does irks me lmao. It’s not that I hate her though…but everything is so strategic and insincere (“look at me look at me!”) People get tired of that after a while…Haterade or no haterade!! (But going on every post to say “who cares” is a force though…but sometimes it does need to be said even though the authors never take a hint) lol

    • Just saying!!

      Yea…I must admit that there was a point in time where i was obsessed with Bey. But honestly…I hear about it so much now that everything she does irks me lmao. It’s not that I hate her though…but everything is so strategic and insincere (“look at me look at me!”) People get tired of that after a while…Haterade or no haterade!! (But going on every post to say “who cares” is a force though…but sometimes it does need to be said even though the authors never take a hint) lol

  • TRUTH IS

    Only shallow ppl will take offense to an opinion/criticism….esp when it’s about celebrities they dont know

  • kierah

    I hear you. Why should we champion mediocrity just to have something to celebrate? I think it’s wonderful that we finally have enough material to evaluate that we can afford look at something with a critical eye.
    When my mom was a kid, Black people would gather around neighbor’s TV sets when someone Black was on TV. It could have been Nat King Cole or Amos N Andy or Little Stevie Wonder. Black people were thirsty for images of themselves and they had to applaud whatever was on. Now I can turn off whatever dumbness BET is showing and check out BBC’s Luther for my taste of Idris Elba. Variety is the spice of life!

  • Kate

    “Want to know what a real “hater” looks like? They’re the ones who go out
    of their way to go on every post about Beyoncé and say, “Who cares??? ”

    I think it all depends. I hardly ever write “who cares”, but sometimes it is like who cares. When you have to scroll past 10 Kim Kardashian post to get to real reads…you do feel the need to run and say “enough is enough who cares”. Rihanna and Chris ( Chrianna) is another one. It’s like who cares ? Not to mention if that’s your opinion/comment and that’s all you have for the day…what’s wrong with that ?

    • Kate

      Another
      problem I have with this is the same one who go out of their way to
      lift up their fav Beyonce, Kim, Rihanna whoever the case may be are
      always the first ones to run into Ciara, Keri Hilson, Jenifer
      Hudson….and do the very thing they hate when it comes to their faves.
      My questions is so who’s at fault ? or who’s the real Debbie Downer because i’m thinking all of thee above on different days. When it comes to your fav you can’t
      give a ” crabs in a barrel speech” and run in the next thread and trash
      Keri Hilson. Take the comments with a grain of salt. Everyone has their
      favs and their least favs. Now there are some I flat out don’t like, but
      I comment at my discretion, and do my best to make true statements
      weather you like it or not.

      Also I don’t feel the need to run in every
      page to make the same repetitive comments. I try to speak on the subject
      or the question posed at the end of the article, or comment based on
      the comments. Still if you don’t like a person and just have to run in
      every thread switching screen names whatever whatever to get your point
      across o well. Common sense will tell you who’s bitter, who just like to
      talk noise,and those who have valid opinions… we all are welcomed in
      the world of the web right. I don’t write to please others and I don’t
      expect others to write to please me. Where is the fun in that ? It’s up
      to you to know and make your place accordingly in the blog world. It’s
      personally up to you to know the message you want to send, or how is it
      is you want to come across. Me personally i’m not a kisser upper and
      that’s always been my stance in the blog world ! Now I can evolve myself
      around that to be my best self, or figure out a way to go about it in a
      respectable manner, but to be a flat out kissy poo poo has never been
      my purpose here.

    • Africanpride

      The word, “hater” is so overused and people have distorted meaning to the word. If you are tired of hearing or seeing the same story on a particular person, the least you can say is, who freaking cares, it’s not hating. Anyway, blacks folks LACK CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. Most of the time, the criticism is done in a rude, disrespectful, using profanity, laughing at you, unserious kind of way. Another problem is, black folks have this weird entitlement, that even when given suggestions that will be of a great help, rolling of eyes, whispering and calling you a “hater” is what it’s been done. I volunteered at a youth camp, and the rules of what is acceptable and unacceptable was laid out, they call you a hater especially the black youths. Black folks hate instruction and correction, they automatically say, don’t tell me what to do, I’m grown. So, you have youths who do it, the sad part is many so called adults do it, which explains where these youths got it from. Until, people learn to do constructive criticism, keep your mouth shut or keep it positive.

  • me

    beyonce stans must read this

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Uc-Oh/1371160615 Uc Oh

      And hopefully Beyonce haters will read & digest it as well.

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