Kim K. And I Have Something In Common: I Don’t Want To Be A Crazy Cat Lady Either!

September 27, 2012  |  


Go ahead and shade me for that headline. I needed something catchy.

There’s actually very little I have in common with Kim Kardashian. In fact, what I think is our shared fear of becoming cat ladies is probably not even a true common thread because as we discussed yesterday, ol’ girl has more men coming and going from her inner walls than a little bit, and let’s face it as long as she has that bootay on hand that’s not gonna change. Still, she’s trying to make us believe she’s a regular old Jane by telling People about her new white feline, Mercy: “I just hope I’m not turning into one of those cat ladies that’s Tweeting too many pictures of her pet!” I’m not going to lie, I secretly yelled “me too!” inside, but while Kim might be exaggerating, over this way, the cat lady struggle is real.

Here’s the thing. I had/have a mice situation. I’m not dirty. It’s a New York thing. My landlord doesn’t give a damn because, as I stated, New Yorkers feel like this type of situation is as much apart of living in the city as taking the Subway. Terminix keeps sending the same incompetent technician to my apartment, forcing me to ask him blatantly one day, ” do you think this is a game?” And frankly, I’m tired of going to bed keeping the TV, bedroom light, desk lamp, and kitchen light on all night long. Bottom line is I need a cat. But I don’t know if I’m ready.

For one thing, cat to me sounds like kid, and I know without a doubt I’m not ready for that in no kinda way. My co-workers reassured me that cats virtually take care of themselves and all I’ll have to do is empty their litter boxes on a daily basis and keep some Meow Mix and Fancy Feast on deck – oh, and make sure it doesn’t scratch my eyes out at night. My co-workers also reminded me that cats are sneaky little bastards and what you see is essentially what you get. There will be no training of the kitty. So while in my mind I might think we have an  agreement that I will feed and provide shelter fin exchange for it ripping apart any and everything it sees scurry across this floor, depending on the kitty’s personality it might be gung ho — or look at me like biznyeee please. And then I’m stuck with a cat and a mouse – neither of which I’m thrilled about.

But then there’s the bigger issue that I’m really not prepared to be a 27-year-old cat lady. That’s just what it is to me. Yes, I know it sounds silly but for some reason I feel like I’m sealing my single, no boyfriend, no husband, no kids, might end up on animal hoarders in 10 years fate by opening the gateway at this age. Like, where can I go from here? Naturally I would just have to get more and more and more cats, right? Isn’t this how it starts? Today it’s a kitten, tommorrow it’s a litter. Perhaps it’s the fact that part of me is also thinking, hmmm maybe caring for another living thing will take some of the edge off and I’ll become a kinder, more loving and patient person. But when I strip that thought down to it’s bare essence all I hear is 20-something cat lady who can’t wait to get home and cuddle up next to a pet that licks itself clean. I’m not about that life.

If you’re shaking your head at me, be real. How many people do you know with cats? I’ll wait. The truth is it’s just not the cool thing. Having a dog as a single woman – or man – is completely socially acceptable. In fact in New York, you’re almost weird if you don’t have one. But a woman of child-bearing years chilling at home stroking her kitty (the pet not the love below)? Nah son.

I’ve been mulling over this issue for a couple weeks now – the way I’d like my potential cat to mull the critters in my apartment — and I’ve actually even picked out my potential kitten thanks to a girl at work who wants me to go about this the humane way and not pick up a stray on the way home like I was thinking (kidding). The kitten I settled on is black and his name is Hakeem. That’s how I knew he was for me. But the moment I lightweight made peace with this potentially life-altering decision, I saw there’s about as much paperwork to adopt an unwanted kitten as there is a small child in China. And because Hakeem, whom I plan on nicknaming Radio Killa so he knows his purpose in life, is only two months old, I’m not allowed to purchase/adopt him unless I already have a cat or purchase/adopt another kitten so he has a playmate. See what I mean? This organization is purposely trying to turn me into a cat lady! One cat I may get a pass on. Two? I’m not doing it to myself. I don’t think.

Do any of you own cats? Did you worry about becoming a crazy cat lady? Am I tripping?

Brande Victorian is the news and operations editor for Follow her on twitter @Be_Vic.

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  • SMHgurl24

    Really i’ll never understand the crazy cat lady reference since most people I know who own cats are not even single. Even my ex boss is married 10+ yrs and last I heard still owns about 12 cats. If your worried about how others might see you if you own 1-2 cats then don’t get one, you have enough problems to worry about.

  • I want a serval cat so bad because their so beautiful but they cost 20,000 so I’ma stick to a black cat

  • Susan

    You know, you must be a major Kim Kardashian fan for you to continue to include her in some write ups on MadameNoire. You could have written this without even mentioning her name. It is amazing how black media and mainstream media seem to always to put her in their write ups As a regular reader of MadamaNoire and I like you,I am really disappointed in you Brande.

    • Rayjulian85

      Girl, relax!

  • Alexa

    Lol this article was funny. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a young woman and having a cat. Just don’t get more than 1.

  • Alexa

    Lol this article was funny. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a young woman and having a cat. Just don’t get more than 1.

  • clove8canela

    Just for the record, born & raised in nyc, and having mice in your apartment is NOT commonplace to New Yorkers. The subway? Yes. Abandoned buildings? Yes. But your living space, nah honey. Also, nobody cares if you have a pet, so it’s not “weird” if you don’t have one.

  • Lola

    It’s a living, breathing, feeling creature so if you don’t think you can handle it, don’t do it. Cats are nowhere near as complex as dogs, but they still need care so think long and hard. Pets are a responsibility no matter what kind you get. Just my two cents!

  • Kim’s cat is shockingly cute I want 1 just like that

  • Yokessm

    I have a kitty, and he is my love after his dad of course, I don’t appreciate the cat bashing on here lol, don’t make me tell my cat to come on here and meow at all of you lol
    Good article, you’re funny.

  • Na Na

    Brande if you’re scared of cats don’t start with a black one! Little Hakeem looks cray so at least you want be the only one! lol

  • Fancy

    lmao!!! this article had me rollin!!