Let Him Down Gently: 14 Tips For Breaking Up and Breaking Free

October 10, 2012  |  

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No one wants to be the one to call it quits on a relationship but sometimes it’s inevitable. When it comes to breaking up, there are definite wrong and right ways to do it. Here are 14 tips for a breakup that won’t turn hateful, spiteful, or difficult.

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Don’t be cliche.

No one wants to hear the “it’s not you, it’s me” line. Keep the cliches out of the breakup.

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Be honest.

When breaking up with a guy, you want to be honest. Don’t sugarcoat anything. This way, there are no questions or doubts as to why the relationship ended. Closure is critical.

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Do it in person.

Ending a relationship through Facebook, a text message, or some other method is just wrong. Be the bigger person and do it in person.

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Don’t draw it out.

If you’re truly honestly wanting to break up with your boyfriend, don’t prolong it. Get it done and over with ASAP.

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Have a real reason.

You don’t want to end your relationship without having good reason. If you don’t really have a good reason, it may be better to rethink your decision before setting it in stone.

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Keep your ears open.

If your ex has something to say, definitely listen, but if it turns into a yelling or arguing match, know when it’s the right time to walk away.

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Explain what went wrong.

Aside from sugarcoating things, you want to explain what went wrong in the relationship and why you came to the decision that breaking up is the best option.

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Be certain.

There’s nothing worse than breaking up with someone, regretting your decision, and trying to get back together. Know that this is what you want 100%.

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Determine a possible future.

Though you don’t have to date your ex-boyfriend in the future, let him know if you want to be friends or if you don’t want to speak at all ever again.

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Choose a private spot.

You don’t want to break up with your boyfriend in the middle of a restaurant or at the mall. Meet somewhere quiet and private.

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Keep the message clear.

If a guy is really into you, don’t be surprised if he shows some sadness. At the same time, don’t let his emotional response sway or change your decision.

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Don’t mention someone new.

While meeting a new beau is certain, one, you shouldn’t have a new guy lined up so soon after breaking up, and two, it’s never a good thing to tell your ex he’s been replaced. Keep it to yourself.

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Don’t over criticize.

Both people make mistakes in a relationship and the breakup moment isn’t a time to criticize or blame. State the facts and move on.

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  • Oh Well

    Great Article! When you break up with someone, you really do let go of a part of your heart. However, reading helpful books like WHEN THE FROG YOU KISSED ISN’T A PRINCE by Grace George will make you say “oh well, next!”

  • Nope

    “Both people make mistakes in a relationship”

    Not according to any woman I’ve ever heard talk about a relationship that didn’t work out.

  • harlemqueen

    Don’t be naive, doing it in person may be dangerous!

  • L-Boogie

    Stay single.

  • Sheena

    Good article! I just broke up with mines 3 weeks ago and I stuck to some similar guidelines and so far so good. We’re even maintaining a normal friendship……so far. Hope it doesn’t change.

    • Just saying!!

      Me too! But we try not to talk too much because that can be painful…