It’s Not You, It’s Me: Subtle Signs You’re Not Ready For A Relationship

September 24th, 2012 - By Erica Renee

Source: Thinkstock.com

Relationships are not easy but they can be even more difficult when the timing is off. I’m not referring to timing as it relates to age, financial status, or even relationship status. While you definitely don’t want to fall in love with a man who is in a relationship with someone else or vice versa, there is another bad timing instance that can be just as detrimental to a relationship than the situations mentioned above. This timing I’m referring to is when you have to utter the cliché words, “It’s not you, it’s me,” and really mean it.

Just as dating a man who isn’t’ ready for a relationship almost always comes with a set of preliminary warnings that we opt to ignore, so does the situation of getting into a relationship prematurely. You can have it all together on the outside: a decent job that you don’t dread going to each day, money in your savings, a functional social life, and to top it all off, you consider yourself a poster child for “black don’t crack,” looking and feeling younger than ever; but these things have nothing to do with your readiness to be in a relationship.

So what are the preliminary signs I’m referring to? Well, these signs are sometimes blatant and other times so subtle that you don’t ignore them on purpose. Nevertheless, they usually mean one thing: you’re just not ready for a relationship.

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  • TeePInky

    What’s funny to me–no, what about if the roles were reversed?? HE, is playing the blame game. HE, hasn’t given himself time to really be a single person (Hey, I just found out). HE, asked me if it would be a problem if he remained in contact with exes…really fool? REALLY?? He ain’t ’bout this life. He should go give himself time to get over past relationships and work on self.

  • Reese

    I’m definitely still in the hiatus period. I am not ready to get out here again, I’m talking to someone he doesn’t want anything serious neither do I we’re just enjoying each other’s company. My ex took me through a whole lot of stuff I’m still angry about and I’m not trying to subject an innocent man to the anger I’m still harboring towards my ex.

  • Kells

    Haha, I can totally relate to this article. I have been seeing this guy for a few months now and he gave me the “your not trying hard enough to make us work “speech last night. Sigh. And its not that I don’t like him but I just can’t see myself trying on this one. Probably a sign that I should let this one go

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