The End of the Road: Why I Finally Broke Up With Facebook

22 Comments
September 21, 2012 ‐ By Lauren Carter
Woman upset at computer

Thinkstock

After months of intermittent grumbling about app requests, lame status updates and the unwelcome advent of Timeline, I finally broke up with Facebook.

I posted a goodbye message to my friends, said I may or may not return and deactivated my account. Then I proudly announced the breakup on Twitter to a round of internet cheers.

Granted, this separation period is probably more of a break than a break-up, but either way, it’s a much-needed breather for my online social life.

I originally joined Facebook as a MySpace enthusiast who came to the “dark side” only to stalk a crush. Once I accepted that MySpace had turned into a virtual ghost town, I embraced Facebook and found that it was a convenient way to catch up with friends, family and long lost fifth-grade BFFs.

For a while, sometime in between the roll out of the News Feed and the dreaded timeline, sometime before you could “like” every single thing on the site, Facebook was fun. I’d post pictures of weekend excursions, write status updates about weird dates and let friends know about extra tickets I had to whatever concerts I was reviewing that week. I re-connected with people I hadn’t seen or heard from in years and chatted until the wee hours of the morning. I stalked more crushes.

But at some point, Facebook turned into an avalanche of fluff, filler and borderline spam.  Now, most of my “friends” are people I’ve never met or barely know and most of my interactions involve untagging myself in self-promotional notes, blocking apps and games, ignoring wall posts from artists telling me to “click here!” and declining event invites to internet mixtape releases – no, not release parties, just releases.

Even updates from family and actual friends have become increasingly mundane or misleading, as if we’ve run out of ways to be genuinely engaging. Most of the time I’m reading about someone frying eggs or walking up the stairs, or I’m subjected to self-absorbed rants about wild levels of success in every possible aspect of life, only to meet up with these people in person, congratulate them on their achievements and then listen in surprise as they deconstruct the myths and facades they’ve perpetuated on Facebook.

I know I’m guilty of it too, of showing my “friends” something closer to what I want them to see than what actually is. It’s the nature of the site, and social media in and of itself, that we try to recreate ourselves online, filtering out what we deem as undesirable and focusing on appearance at the expense of authenticity.

More from Styleblazer

More from Mommynoire

MadameNoire Video

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • Cakester

    I cannot stand the announcement of leaving facebook! If facebook is that important that you need to announce that you’re leaving, then bye boo! It’s only as serious as you need it to be… I call all those announcements publicity stunts… you control how you use facebook, and who you’re friends with…

  • Lilly

    I have never been on Facebook. I have witnessed the drama it creates for other people and I decided( along with my husband) that I would steer clear and so far I have not regretted the decision.

  • Pingback: Why I Broke Up With Facebook (via Madame Noire) | Lauren Carter()

  • Bxbabygirl

    I was on FB for a couple years, then decided to deactivate. With nearly 200 ‘friends’ & family @ the time, the updates were mostly drama or brags. I found that I didn’t like the culture of FB. I prefer interacting in person or via phone with people who actually give a damn about me and vice versa. The pics were nice to see (sometimes) and to hear of graduations, and business accomplishments. But I could do w/o the play-by-play of someone’s day or the “that b*tch know who I’m talking to…” drama. Only the ones who have my contact info are the ones who I still keep in touch with. As an outgoing, normally functioning woman, I did just fine making friends until FB was born. I trust I will continue just fine without it.

  • eestoomuch

    contemplating such a move…..maybe keep it and just lay low…

  • Tracey

    I think I am one of the few people in their early thirties who never got on FB. I don’t even think it’s that serious. I know it cuts down on drama in life. I’ve heard of way too much drama started on FB. If we can’t keep in touch without FB then I guess it wasn’t meant to be.

    • Lilly

      Wow! I am 30 and when I tell people I have never had a Facebook page they usually are surprised. Nice to know I am not the only one.

  • okokok

    I just don’t think its the serious. Just activate it or deactivate it. No announcement needed. Get on as much as you need to. Facebook can be a fun time filler at times, and then there’s the days that you have nothing but bored people looking for attention.

    • http://twitter.com/TyjuanaWilson Tyjuana W.

      Thank you!

  • NONEYA

    Im seriuosly considering also deleting my page but for different reasons: NOTHING ON FB IS PRIVATE ANYMORE!! Everytime you like or comment on a picture, status or page EVERY one of your “FRIENDS” see it!! I miss the goldens days of FB when I could write on someones wall and nobody seen it unless they went to that page! Everytime you do something on FB everyone sees it! OAN: Facebook is nothing but a popularity contest

    • realtalk

      true! facebook has gotten messy lol! Especially when you see something like someone’s comments on a “Freaks After Dark” group page going down your newsfeed!

  • http://twitter.com/TyjuanaWilson Tyjuana W.

    I say good riddance. If FB is affecting your life to the point where you must announce your departure, you shouldn’t be on there to begin with.

    You folks with the announcements and extra crap are the ones bringing FB down, so peace out.

  • noneed4it

    Been off facebook for three and a half years and counting. i don’t know anybody who can go longer than three hours without checking their fb page… kinda pathetic.

    • MLS2698

      She broke up with one jerk to be with another…….. almost sounds like a man.

    • chrystal greene

      OMG! you are so right! I deleted my account 3 years ago as well and do not miss it at all! All my friends are all stressed having fights with their SOs over FB postings, etc. Who needs the headache!

  • dbatt001

    i deactivated about 3 months ago. Feel great! Probably cuz I have no life.

  • realadulttalk

    That’s how I feel about twitter. FB for me is about my fam and friends…I have no interest in the twitters and instagrams. Twitter was cool years ago…now its over-run with annoying children and celebs all looking for attention. I’ll pass. And I never got the point of instagram…yeah let me share a whole bunch of photos with people I don’t know and hope for the best (what?!?!)

    • agreed

      so true! I don’t get the instragram hype at all!

  • Tgif

    Good read, and yes, I did this last year.

  • Sweetie

    I go on Facebook like once or twice a week, but I must say that twitter is way more entertaining and fun then Facebook. I love it because u can actually just follow the people u want to hear from. I just keep my Facebook around to keep in contact with family and old friends.

  • Pivyque

    I keep in touch with old classmates and coworkers that I know I will never call. I don’t add people that I don’t know though.

  • KJ23

    AMEN!!!!! I got rid of my Facebook page a few months ago and I honestly don’t miss it!!