The Grass Is Greener Syndrome: How I’m Jealous Of My Single Friends

September 19, 2012  |  


In honor of National Singles Week, I’d like to throw this out there: Being unattached has some serious perks. My friends and I are all in our early 20s, so we’re at varying relationship stages. Some are engaged, some (like myself) are in long-term relationships, some are playing the field and others are living (and loving) the single life.

And man, sometimes I just get jealous of the single ones.

I haven’t been paired up for too long; my boyfriend and I are learning new things about one another every day. And though I’m very happy in my relationship (thank you very much!) I was plenty happy when I was single, too, and there are many things I miss. Here’s a list that should aptly be titled “My boyfriend might break up with me after reading this.”

1. Flirting. Or, more specifically, flirting without shame or regret.

2. The chase. The biggest chase that will happen in a relationship is likely when your boyfriend steals the remote during an ABC Family screening of The Notebook.

3. The remote control. Speaking of the remote. Honey, I love you, but I don’t want to watch footballall of the time.

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  • IllyPhilly

    To each it’s on.

  • As another poster said, if you envy your single friends that much, then be single. Otherwise, understand that there are pros and cons to every relationship situation.

  • jazzy girl

    If you envy your single friends, join them in being single. It’s very simple; you’re not tied to him. Why must we complain about every-damn-thing. I can’t with these professional complainers.
    One minute: I can’t find a man. The next: I’m jealous of my friends without a man. I mean, which is it? This further confirms the saying: women are never satisfied.

  • Just Peachy!

    I am on the fence with this one. I am just getting out of my long term union and I can say there are benefits to both. Having that special someone that you can go home to at the end of the day to share everything with, the good, bad & the ugly. On the flip side side there is all that freedom of doing just YOU for a change! Without any hassle or questions. You really get a chance to get into yourself . I love that part too.

    • kierah

      The right partner acknowledges that you can just do YOU sometimes.

      • mac

        THANK YOU. I was waiting for someone to say this. If you feel like you’re missing out on life or whatnot, you’re going about your relationship the wrong way. The problem is a lot of women make their life revolve around the relationship, when it should merely complement their life.
        In a healthy relationship, both should be able to “do them” as much as they want without it even a question.

  • DidSheReallyGoThere

    I knew when I read the title that she was buggin. First of all, as an UNMARRIED woman, she’s violating no verdicts to Flirt (it’s fun!), Be Chased (hey…if the co-worker wants to buy lunch, why not?), or watch what her *GROWN* pa-tootie wants to watch on a television (she may have/probably purchased herself and/or pays the electric bill for). It makes me stroke my bare 4th left finger with reverent joy, when I see ‘fiances’ like her (playing Wife with NO Officiality)…married females whose husbands are about as faithful as Judas was to Jesus (y’all know we ALL know about a Situation where the who dang TOWN darn near knows the ‘husband’ is a cheatin hound-dog with no shame! admit it!) I have found that the more I embrace my self-efficiency and focus on developing a relationship with ME—the more men wanna know what size ring I wear (on the 4th left finger, of course!) 😉

    • DidSheReallyGoThere

      oops. typo. meant to say “whole” dang town….

    • MLS2698

      LOL @Judas! I agree with GUEST for right now.

    • Miss Anonymous

      Yes!!!! Dont forget the long term fiance’s who are engaged for 3-7 years and the guy keeps pushing the wedding date back or says “we need more time together before we make such a big decision”. Yall have had some kids and live together for years, baby yall arent getting married and fyi when he says he need a “break” it means he wants to be able to have sex with someone else and it wont count as cheating.

  • Adrina

    You are in your early 20s, so yeah you may feel like there are more things to do than to adhere to boundaries in a relationship & fell a bit envy of your single friends. But when you get older and start approaching 30 (like myself), your mentality will change because those things you felt you were missing out on, are not important any longer…and you start to appreciate relationships/marriage instead of seeing it the way you do. Trust me, you’ll wish you had a good guy later on…

  • Pivyque

    Lol I guess. I’ve never been jealous of my single friends because I pretty much do the same things I did when I was work, cook, clean, hang out with my ladies etc…but I HAVE been jealous of my childless friends. Smh. Being able to decide out of nowhere to go see a midnight showing of some movie seems like a lifetime ago. Just a few more years and I am in the clear. Empty nest…here I come!!

  • Guest

    OK!! Come and go as I please, do what I want when I want, find things exactly where I left them, no one bothering me to cook, wash clothes, grocery shop, clean or any other household chore. No one clocking my comings and goings and most of all no one thinking he has the right to tell me what to do and how to do it!!!! FREEDOM ROCKS!!!!!

    • get real

      After reading this I see why you are single. But what’s funny I bet if you start dating “white daddy” you will comply with and have no problem cooking, cleaning, etc.

      • Hmph

        I guess you passing judgment, making assumptions and jumping to all types of conclusions toward someone you don’t even know somehow makes you feel better about yourself. White daddy? Seriously?

  • L-Boogie

    Um, stay single. The only way to be.