True Life: Something Crazy Happened At The Club…

September 13th, 2012 - By madamenoire

I love to dance, I’m sure it’s good for the soul. So you would think that I’m always up in somebody’s club trying to shake something. Not so. I might venture out there every once in a while; but the dark underworld that is an American nightclub can often be a scary, borderline dangerous place to be. We here at Madame Noire were wondering if some of our Facebook followers had experienced some of this same type of foolishness we had. So we just asked. Check out some of the more outrageous answers we got from this question.

Slanderous Stacey: I was dancing by myself and a guy that was already dancing with a girl came to dance w/ me so she punched me in the face

Sweetheart/Misfit: some guy telling me stop acting like a white girl, mind you he was being like a stalker and too touchy feely like he knew me

T.:  I saw a man with all white tuxedo w/matching gators, and I was offended, lol.

Teresa: This one older man promised to buy me a house if I danced w/ him. But I declined lol

Paige: A dude slid me his number without my permission & then asks me not to say anything bc his girl is across the room…#canusaylame

Malika: I didnt eat b4 i went out, took a sip of baileys irish cream and henny mixed, swallowed and turned to the dance floor only to throw up on a girl that was dancing with a guy i used to date!!!!!!!!!

Rhonda: True story. Somebody bumped into me at a club in Las Vegas, I felt something wet hit my shoes. Thought someone spilled their drink on my feet, I looked down, some chick is squatting and urinating on the club floor. Should’ve kicked her in the face but I was already PO’d.

Jakozy: No lie.. this Guy seriously touched my vajay, I think I almost ended his life tho… disrespectful heathen.

Te’Michelle: This fool CAME ON HIMSELF while we were dancing!
Pants was all hot and sticky, I hollered, “WTF?!?!”

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  • A Real Boss Knows Betta

    I go….as a VIP guest. To all ladies spendin money they ain’t got on a weekly basis, just to stand in a line as long as your pimp/preacher’s sermon at the church you’re headed to the next day after—-stop it. To all the ladies who regard the first broke busta as the possible love of your life (in a nightclub???)—stop it. To all ladies who treat these frontin fellas like they even DESERVE a dance (without buying a drink first)—-stop it. When I’m en route to and from the restroom, they confuse “Me” for “You”, and get irrationally offended as I rebuff, reject, and check em some more! Thanks.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Latrece-Hoskins/100002627012546 Latrece Hoskins

    yep, my relatives were right. clubs are for perverts looking to have sex.

  • PrincessKaraboo

    I use to go to this poetry spot every week. Nice atmosphere, kind of put u in mind of “Love Jones”. After becoming a regular patron I began to sey hello to other members and engage in small talk. I left the spot as usual only to find out I was followed home by a guy that was another frequent venue goer. When he got out the car, I asked him “what are you doing?, how did you know where I lived?” He said “I wanted to make sure you got home safe.” Completely mortified I dismissed him from my property. The following morning, I had roses on my car… I never went out to the poetry place again.

    • Cinnamon71

      Ooh! That is scary. That is definitely a dealbreaker. If he wanted to talk to you he should have did it at the poetry place. Also, he could have escorted you to your car if he wanted to make sure you were safe but don’t follow me to my house and approach me if I don’t know you!!! The flowers just upped the ante to the stalker element. He just could have went about the situation a different way if he wanted to get to know you better.

  • tt

    I remember going to the club with my new boyfriend and I seem my ex ,he was mad i was dancing with a guy, so he came over and pull my wig off and my new man looked confused….lol

    • Na Na

      Lmfao! Hecky naw.

    • Nina

      ROFLMBAO! Not the wig!

    • ahsookiSooki

      dang snatchin wigs in the club LOL.

  • Na Na

    True Story: My girls and I were sitting in the car putting on lip gloss, sipping a little and just pre-gaming before we went into the club. We look over to the right and this man in his car is making weird faces staring at us. so we pull out our camera phones and snap pics of him. This fool then opens up his door swings his legs out and that’s when we notice that his pants are down and he’s pleasing himself! so we really start snapping pics, that must be what he wanted because he then stands up, points his things in our direction and ejaculates in the streets. I was soooo disgusted, my home girl thought is was funny and my other friend dropped her phone trying to change it to video mode!

  • Candacey Doris

    You should have titled this “Reasons to Avoid the Club”.

  • Fe

    Random guy walks up to me and asks me to tell him I want him to eat my “P”.

  • sabrina

    What kind of ratchet and hood booger clubs are some of y’all going to???? But yeah, the club can definitely be dangerous territory lol

  • reese

    I went to a bar looking good, as I walked in my knee went out I fell!

  • Cinnamon71

    I haven’t been to a club in over 10 yrs and from what I have been reading I’m not missing out on anything. My horror story was many years ago when I took my sister out to celebrate her 21st birthday. While I was dancing with this guy, he told me he likes to “go downtown” and proceeded to do that with me on the dance floor. I guess since it was dark, he didn’t have any inhibitions. I said no and left him there and took my sister home. Men are a trip in the club and I can imagine it’s gotten much worse…SMH

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/TD6JJGMAB54G6WLXWFNA44A3GQ Martinie

    e gosh I haven’t been to a club in a while and see I’m not missing much…I am
    beautiful woman and I love good man…..inter racial romance is my dream… so I
    joined —blackwhitеPlanet.С0M—–it’s where to- connect with beautiful and excellent
    people!

    • get real

      Wtf? Please tell me you work for that site and is trying to get people to join? Because saying dating a white boy is your dream is cooning at the highest level.

      • MLS2698

        It’s so stupid! Whoever this is cuts and pastes from another person’s post, then puts that crap about swirl planets. If a person looks for someone of another race, they hate themselves.

        • Whateva’s Cleva

          Not true. I am the product of a Caribbean mother who married an African/Native-American man. Fast forward to 32; 2 children (by a “Black” man). Fiance (also Black) passed away from heart attack within 6 months of our wedding. Heart sufficiently healed to consider selecting from amongst the (never ending) prospects. Dunno if it’s gonna be a Brotha this time. I LOVE everything about Black Men; their sexual prowess, their innate physical superiority to males of other ethnicities, their natural rythm. But I’ve had it with the Innate Insecurities which are residual by-product of the willie lynch agenda. My deceased fiance was a couple weeks shy of his PhD. Most of the brothas I encounter in casual passing barely complete an Associate’s degree at the community college. I deserve a man who is as intellectually and professionally driven as me, and a lot of these ‘single Black men’ have ZERO vision beyond the next pair of popular athletic shoe apparel they intend to purchase ASAP. I deserve a man who is not threatened by my dedication to my career; and/or the associations created in connection to that. I deserve a man who is not intimidated by my notable articulation and mastery of the English language (If one of of them ridicule the way I talk!). If he happens not to be a descendant of Africa, so what? I’d have to actually hate myself, to settle for a fella who only wants me for what I can do for him (which is something Black men are EXPERTS at! Right Judge Mathis? Right Maury Povich?)……is something I refuse to do just to say “I’m Representin”.

  • Shirl

    Some of these stories had me laughing out loud..especially the one with the toilet paper..hehehe gosh I haven’t been to a club in a while and see I’m not missing much

  • http://twitter.com/VictoriaGrooves Victoria grooves

    These stories make me wanna avoid clubs

    • Cinnamon71

      Trust me, you’re not missing anything. You don’t need to deal with the dry humping, groping, someone “claiming you” all night because they bought you a drink or you danced with them one time, or jealous women mad-dogging you or trying to pick a fight. There so many variables that happen at a club, it’s not worth it.

    • FabienneDesrameaux

      I know right nvr been to a club and now i nvr will. Tramatized by these visuals in my head

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