Booty Call? Just A Friend? What His Texts Say About How He Feels

September 13, 2012  |  

Texting is the most utilized form of communication between couples, friends and friends with benefits today. It’s efficient. It can be flirty with all those emoticons. It allows for communication at any time, like in a meeting or on the toilet, but it also allows you to avoid real conversation. So, it can be hard to read how a guy feels about you, beyond those little letters on the screen.

"Business man texting"

madamenoire.com

Avoiding conversational texts

Ever dealt with a guy that only texts you things like, “Want to do x at y time?”or “You busy?” How about a guy that never responded to your funny stories or anecdotes and if he did, he did so with a “ha” or “lol”?

"Booty call"

blogs.radiotown.com

You’re a booty call

A man that only wants to sleep with you is going to avoid conversational texts. Making you laugh, or sharing something personal about himself will only make it seem like he cares about your happiness when you’re not in bed with him. But a guy that keeps you around as a booty call won’t exert any more emoticons than are required to make a plan.

"Woman texting"

popularcrictic.com

Sharing stories

Ever had a guy text you a play-by-play of his day, from every funny moment, to let down to moment of glee? Even the minuatae like, “Ugh. Line at the pharmacy is so long”?

"Lots of text messages"

shadowofthesteeple.blogspot.com

He wants an insta-relationship

That type of constant communication isn’t quite normal until you’ve been with someone for a long time. A guy that gives you a play-by-play of his day after only a couple of dates is trying to insert himself into your life via being the name flashing on your phone every ten minutes.

"First date"

experiencecrossriver.com

 

“Let’s talk about it in person”

Since women love to communicate via any medium, it can get frustrating to deal with the guy that says, “I’ll tell you later” or “Let’s talk about it in person” or answers your interrogative questions with one or two word answers.

"Couple enjoying dinner"

madamenoire.com

Some men just aren’t texters

Believe it or not, there are some old fashioned ones still out there! Some men want to give their words the respect of having facial expressions, tone of voice and gesture to back them up. And they also want to give you that respect so that you fully understand them.

"Woman texting at a club"

madamenoire.com

Bouts of texts, then silence

Has a guy every been super chatty for short bursts of time, responding to you within seconds, and then suddenly disappearing? He’s a story teller, making you laugh with tons of puns, and then dead silence.

"Man texting and smiling"

madamenoire.com

He just wants attention

Some men keep around a texting buddy simply to have female attention. It’s immature and narcissistic but it happens. Some guys never have any intentions of asking you out or making plans. They simply get a high from having a female that thinks about them and who they can instantly flirt with whenever they want, via text.

"Couple on a jet ski"

art.com

Super plan maker

This guy is different from the booty call. His plans are far more elaborate. He texts you about events weeks down the line. He has a dozen follow up texts to make sure you will be there, and know exactly how to get there, and are okay with what you’ll be doing.

"People nervous on a date"

him.uk.msn.com

He likes you but he’s nervous

This guy either just really likes you and wants to ensure he gets a spot on your schedule or he’s not comfortable with himself. If a man hasn’t gained confidence in his own abilities to entertain you, simply by sitting next to you, he’ll always be looking for distracting activities, just so he can be around you.

"Woman texting"

madamenoire.com

 

Dirty + flirty texts

Have a guy sending you flirty and even dirty text messages, and you can’t quite gage if he’s trying to date you or just sleep with you?

"Woman day dreaming"

hellobeautiful.com

It could be both!

Just because a guy is getting sexual or suggestive in his texts doesn’t mean he just wants to get in bed with you. Pay attention to what else happens in your conversations. Do they end on a sexual note? Or do you at some point move back into just fun, casual conversation? If they always end on a sexual note then odds are he does just want to sleep with you.

"Two people flirting"

bossip.com

A friend that you like

Is there a guy that runs in the same social circles as you, that you work with or that you see regularly in some capacity that you want to be more than friends with? Since the two of you are already (probably) on texting terms, it can be hard to gage where the line is between flirty and friendly.

"Man thinking"

thefreshxpress.com

How deep does he get?

Usually a guy can tell when a woman is crushing on him, and men know that nothing makes a woman feel liked (or loved) more than being confided in. If a man touches on serious topics with you via text, he might have feelings for you! But if he clearly avoids any deep topics, and steers away from them when you bring them up, he is probably trying to keep things platonic.

"Woman waiting by the phone"

thirdage.com

He never initiates conversation

This is one of the most confusing types of texting: the guy that never initiates texts, but always responds to yours. Once the conversation has started, he engages, responds promptly and seems into it. When you ask him to do something, he says yes, but he never initiates plans.

"Couple on the couch"

luxavision.com

He’s passing the time with you

You’re an inbetweener for this guy. You’re not just a booty call because he does in fact enjoy hanging out with you and talking to you, but you’re also not someone he feels strongly enough about to want a relationship with. So, when you text him or ask him to hang out, his thought is, “Why not?” But, you don’t come to his mind on his own.

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  • Donut

    Ms. Julia,

    Not to be rude but on what authority do you create this list? Do you have male advisors or have you conducted a comprehensive study into the psychology behind male texting? Not to say your points have no merit, but without knowing how you arrive at your conclusions, this article is more ambition that substance considering you have never been a male and sent a text message.

    Not bitter. Just curious.

  • sabrina

    If I’m actually interested in a guy, I don’t mind phone calls. If I’m not into a guy, I’d prefer that he texts me lol

  • saywhowhatnow

    can someone please post all the stuff on one page. i ain’t reading through all those pages. i haven’t lost my mind yet. and yes, emotional immature men like texting. A real mature man will have no problem having a direct phone or in-person conversation. My new rule, all the men i date i lie that i don’t have the texting option on my phone.

  • I disagree i think texting can work, it depends on the dynamic of the relationship. If you are a busy person like myself then its easier to text during the day rather than to have a phone call. Its easier to carry on a conversation throughout the day like that. Phone calls later is is fine but i fele a text also lets that person know you have them in mind as well. Only if the communication is solely text, then i consider it an issue.

    • brownkutie

      texting is appropiate if you’re having a busy day, or even don’t feel like doing a lot of talking. but it can be an issue if txting is your ONLY means of communication. it’s something about talking in person or audibly that you really get to know someone. i’m worth more than a random text!

  • Chrissy

    Just wish it was the old days when talking on the phone actually having a conversation for hours now ppl just hide behinds text messages!

  • windycitymami

    I didn’t read the article because I refuse to scroll through multiple pages when the entire article could’ve been posted on 1 page. I may be in the minority but actually prefer text. I’ve stopped dating guys who phoned me too much and have actually has one guy complain about the fact that he’d phone me, leave a message and I’d return his call with a text. I guess it’s easier to get my point across and go on about my business via text. Not into all of the conversation.

  • Jess

    I thought I was the only one that felt like a guy texting u after meeting you is so blah. If a man wants to get to know u. A great phone conversation is the best way to get to know each other besides going out. Men these days don’t understand that and it’s frustrating to me.

    • Brownkutie

      Very frustrating!

  • mslilbit51

    I can not believe that I have to flip through all these pages. This could have been done on one page. ugh!!!

  • mslilbit51

    I can not believe that I have to flip through all these pages. This could have been done on one page. ugh!!!

  • Cam

    I agree with rzakia. Several of these pages have weak points or just very little to say, and could have been consolidated, making it easier for the reader.

  • rzakia

    This is frustrating to read. Why couldn’t it have been on a few pages instead of 17 where I have to click and deal with all the ads and foolishness???

    • Natural83

      YESSS! OMG, I hate that! I love coming on here to read articles but I absolutely despise clicking through all those pages. I want to read the whole thing, but I got frustrated and stopped at page 5. SMH!

  • JaneDoe

    Textin is beyond over rated to me when it comes to meeting, getting to know, and even relationships. Its okay for that, baby I am busy right now msgs but not for full blown conversations. Especially when the relationship is fresh. I always know off the rip what the relationship is going to be about is a guy texts me before he calls me after just meeting me.

    • Kimster

      I completely agree with you! I had a guy ask for my number, tell me he’d call later so we could talk and plan a date and then he hit me with a simple, lame “Hey” text. I’m like, who is this? Nobody has time for that. Continous texting convos in new, romantic relationships is for the birds.

      • Lexi

        Really, it says more than ppl think.. Maybe I am just a deep thinker but texting a person off the rip says you are an emotionally unattached person or emotionally unstable.. lol

        • sammi_lu

          I agree, as of lately this has become so aggravating. It is so lame to try and get to know someone you just met via long text convos..I have better ways to waste my time.