How To Have A Successful Threesome In A Relationship

37 comments
September 18, 2012 ‐ By Julia Austin
"Threesome"

examiner.com

It’s not for everyone. In some cases it can destroy a relationship. In many cases, if it happened, it was a sign that the relationship was already doomed. But for some couples, in some situations, just a little spice can bring them back that feeling of being excited to be in the same room, of feeling attractive and attracted to one another again, and  feeling adventurous: and that spice can come in the form of a threesome. Here’s how to pull it off and get all the benefits, and none of the downfalls.

More from Styleblazer

More from Mommynoire

MadameNoire Video

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • Squeegee your 3rd EYE

    Dear America..
    The reason you are SOOO FAT is because you have the pleasure of having your cake and eating it too… Sometimes too much freedom of speech is a bad thing and it becomes easily abused.
    If you want an article that is about a Two male One female three way… GO FIND THAT ARTICLE! This clearly isnt that one! Whoever wrote this article clearly has the freedom of the press… So as soon as you freakass ladies saw no mention of being a ping pong ball table for two dudes.. or a roasted chicken getting stuffed from both ends.. You shouldnt have further wasted your precious lives reading on.. and then going one step further and posting about how all women are subjected to being a piece of submissive property! No one said anyone was being forced into anything, last I checked…. Very rapey mentality some of you ladies have. Sounds like some of you like being a submissive sex objects bouncing around between two men.. that would be the only reason to pine over double penatration.
    So yes, clearly this article is written by either a women with female interest.. or a man. How could most women not have female interest? Female human beings are one of the most precious, and beautiful things in exsistence! So from now on… please think before you type!!

    Please American women! Open your 3rd eye!

  • Guest

    Someone needs a dictionary. Next time, when you want to write about threesomes do feel free to face the fact that it means three PEOPLE. NOT two WOMEN and one man but THREE people as in THREE same sex or TWO MEN, yes MEN, and ONE woman. Mmmkay? Bye now.

  • Guest

    Sometimes, the problem is the person not the gender. The woman rocked. Her man sucked. People are too quick to blame homosexuality when their heterosexual relationship flops. For all you know, she might end up with another man in the future who rocks her world better than this last boyfriend. Just saying.

  • Present

    @Josiane •Thank you- my sentiments exactly :)

  • Mimi

    SMH at the act of even writing this article.

  • Chris

    Curious as to why this doesn’t address a threesome that involves another vs another female. I think both areas should have been covered.

  • scotsqueenie

    So, what about threesomes with another MAN?? I mean, a simple orifice count would indicate that a proper threesome should be comprised of two men and one woman… this so called “article” makes some very male-chauvinist assumptions about three-ways.

  • Christine Rene-Howard

    This article is horribly sexist. I want a how-to on how to bring another man into my relationship.

  • T.sweet

    My experience with doing a threesome with my husband, and my best friend was not harmful to my relationship. It has been six years since we did the threesome, and we are still married. Don’t get me wrong, our relationship is not perfect, but are arguments are not a result of the threesome, but money (it will kill a relationship faster than a threesome ever could). As far as the relationship with my best friend , we are still the best of friends. The three of us hang out just like we did before the threesome (it only happened once). Maybe I am to trusting, but my husband never gave me a reason not to trust him then or now. I would not recommend anyone to try this if they or their lover is jealous or grimy (scandalous).

  • Jen

    Threesomes can possibly work, but one or the other (of the couple) would have to be bisexual. If both people in the relationship are hetero, it ain’t gonna work. I’m straight, I don’t want another naked woman anywhere near me in a sexual context, and I don’t want her near my husband. My husband is straight, he most certainly doesn’t want to see another naked man with a boner in his bed. Seriously though, threesomes are very, very touchy – best left for only the MOST open-minded of people. If anyone ever wants to experience one, do it before ever getting married because more often than not, a 3P eventually leads to marital issues or divorce.

  • M.L.

    A friend and his wife had threesomes throughout their marriage. They are now divorced. He got one of their “girlfriends” pregnant, but they stayed together for years after that. He then got too close with another one of their girlfriends and it was over after that.

    Why be in a committed relationship if that’s what you want?

    • Smoov Mocha Nut

      Right. Why be in a committed relationship, if you don’t want to be committed (physically)? Swingers & open marriages say they enjoy the intimacy they have with their partners as well as the (open) freedom to have sex with other people (either together or alone). Many of them say the arrangement works well as they’ve done it for years, but may not be a healthy, sustainable lifestyle for others.

  • Diva in Dena

    Clearly this is just another article to read but if you do want to have a 3sum in your relationship the wife/girlfriend should ALWAYS be the one in communication with the 3rd person…state exactly what the couple is looking for by always being up front….i actually have had very successful 3sums with couples because the communication is always open and there is sexual attraction….as long as everyone knows their roles in it then it should be fun and exciting!

    • Pam, The FV Wildcat

      I still say if your man wants to bring another woman into you all’s sex life, then tell him you want to bring another man in.. Don’t allow yourself to be disrespected like that. Show some self respect and dignity.
      If you allow a threesome where he brings another woman in, it’s for his pleasure, not yours sweetie. Get some sense. Once you start doing that, you will be sharing him from now on. 3-15-13
      Really, men are selfish, sexually. They basically think about their own genital’s release, even when they love you. Wake up ladies, and see men as they are.

  • Taneesha Culture Clash Thomas

    u know what i really don’t have a problem with what grown people do at all…however when u say threesome it’s always two women & one man…i don’t know to many men that would be comfortable with watching their woman get d*cked down by some other dude so all things being equal do what u wanna do…but if u letting him f*ck other chic’s u should be f*cking other dudes too.

    • FV Wildcat

      You are so right Taneesha. We as women lose all our self respect and dignity, trying to satisfy our man’s every whim. But do you ever see articles and photos, with 2 men and 1 woman, telling men how they need to satisfy their woman? No, we don’t.
      3-9-13
      . Heck no, men are selfish and we women allow it. Women act silly and stupid for men. We change ourselves for them. We now have a nation and a planet of selfish, spoiled men and we women are much of the cause. Stop listenig to Steve Harvey and Mike Baisden. Listen to yourself and your mama. Your mama most times can tell you everything you need to know, if we would listen to her.
      Women need to love themselves and just hold off on all the begging, pleading, and changing your body and mind for a man. They really do not cae that much about us. And no, I do not hate men, I just love and respect myself, my mama before I start giving him sex. I can do without sex. He needs it. but if I give a boyfrirnd sex, he darn well had better show me respect. We are not property and should act as such.

    • Smoov Mocha Nut

      Good point. Agreed. It’s selfishness.

  • Ms. Marie

    If you’re into that, why be in a committed relationship or get married? No thank you.

    • Smoov Mocha Nut

      That’s a realistic thought too. I’m thinking that the suggestion of a 3some was something that “would NOT” become a regular activity or necessity for the relationship to prosper. Rather it was just a novel, 1-time experience just for the sake of trying it to see what happens. Many couples hate it & move on…some coupes like it but prefer not to try it again…and then there are couples who’ve tried it, liked it, & practice it whenever they get an opportunity or meet a 3rd that fits their shared “liking” – that’s called Swinging. lol. Another topic of relationship lifestyles altogether.

  • http://www.dittymac.blogspot.com/ Virginia Llorca

    You don’t discuss bringing in another guy. Another chick would not interest “some”.You asked on my disqus if I tried it. I can’t even carry it off in my naughtiest fiction. And the Segway thing hit me too. Sex on one of those funny new bikes?

  • taz

    I wonder if your man will be so willing if u wanted a man to join…using the same reasons listed above. Woman do too much for men but them men wouldn’t do half for you

    • Guest

      PREACH! Smdh!

    • Smoov Mocha Nut

      Totally agree. It takes real security & a healthy dose of confidence to do a 3some…especial with your own partner. Most men only can imagine themselves enjoying the pleasures of 2 women at once, but get totally intimidated or infuriated at the thought of their own woman enjoying another man’s intimate/sexual advances. It’s truly humbling to see your partner enjoying sex w/o you (providing the enjoyment)…but that’s a huge area of maturity where most committed couples have not attempted to explore most-likely.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_LBSPSV27VXWMQ62NT7IIYVKWD4 NaomiH

    Had a friend who tried it and it ruined her relationship she left her man for the woman.

  • Bubbah

    HIRE INTELLIGENT PEOPLE THAT READ AND ARE NOT TOO PROUD TO USE THE DICTIONARY!! THE CORRECT SPELLING (SEGWAY) IS S-E-G-U-E.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JAI4SRENU2A5WKRTELXXYJPDSI Kayla

    It can work. I’ve had one before. The key is communication. And make sure eveyone is on the same page. Try not to pick someone that isnt more sexuallexperienced then you or your man. Lol

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JAI4SRENU2A5WKRTELXXYJPDSI Kayla

      Sexually experienced*

  • Josiane

    This article must be written by a man since it only talks about bringing another women. What about bringing another man into your bedroom with your man?

    • http://www.facebook.com/cassquervo Damon Wilson

      I just threw up a litttle bit in my mouth. -_-

      • Taneesha Culture Clash Thomas

        lol

      • Guest

        Throw up all you want. A threesome means just that, three people. If you can’t deal with another d!ck then you dare not even mention another tit. If you can’t tolerate it then do not expect your woman to.

      • Smoov Mocha Nut

        Most men say “Hell No!”, when the 3rd is suggested to be another guy. But like the article mentioned – only go as far as the most timid person in the group is willing to go & agree that the 3rd does not have intercourse with either partner. If a guy isn’t willing to consider a 3some with a guy, why should a lady be so willing to consider a 3some with another woman? …but this is where insecurities hide & being honest is where all of this will work, especially after the experience.

        But if the notion of a 3some is unsettling, try other things like separating to mingle/flirt with other guests at a party/club/bar where the atmosphere is generally adult-mature (in nature) – then meet up with your partner in a private corner to trade flirty stories & be intimate.

        There’s all kinds of simple things long-time couples can do to “step-up” the excitement in their relationship. Most of these things do involve doing something which is the key & being open & honest is priority as well. Being unwilling to – at least – try an idea (when your partner was open enough to even tell you) really stinks. But if concerns about the negative effects are reasonable, then the openess of discussion will probably be a good route initially.

  • Kay

    OH… And we wonder why people steryotypicsl black women …

  • get real

    Every man’s fantasy. “No, not my man” .Yes self righteous woman, yours too.

    • Adrina

      i agree with this lol. Women have fantasies too that some men can’t believe either, but hell, I think they’re willing to try lol. Women are hestitant bc they don’t like competition just like men which is one reason why I think men don’t want another man in the 3some.

  • She Speaks

    Nothing wrong with a threesome. Make sure all parties involved are mature enough to handle the situation (and afterwards) and be sure to COMMUNICATE. Just speaking from experience. It can definitely be a fun, exciting, interesting way to play out fantasies etc.
    I know was the one that mentioned the idea to my man and planned it out so there was no gray areas.
    Anyway, I can already picture the comments coming from this article saying “It will make/give your man a reason to cheat.” etc. I’d bet you he already wanted or was cheating on you before that.
    P.S. MN, pop-up ads…get rid of them. Kthxbi.

  • nat

    This is a terrible idea.