Oprah Asks J Hud What We Always Wanted To Know: Did You Ever Blame Your Sister?

September 11th, 2012 - By Veronica Wells

Source: jetmag.com

In 2008, the whole nation watched in shock and horror as details surrounding the deaths of Jennifer Hudson’s mother, brother and eventually nephew were revealed. Initially, everyone was hoping that the life of her seven year old nephew, Julian King, would have been spared. So it was especially tragic when his body was found three days later.

Just a few months ago, William Balfour, Hudson’s brother-in-law stood trial for the murders. While there was no doubt that he would eventually be brought to justice, (Balfour was sentenced to three consecutive life sentences.), still quite a few of us were still wondering, most likely in vain, how Julia, Jennifer’s sister, could have ever found herself with this type of man in the first place.

I remember this is the question my co-worker and I were discussing when the trial first started. Not only did we wonder how she ended up in this relationship, we questioned whether her family had warned her about him. We thought about the type of guilt she must have felt and probably still feels, knowing that the man she chose was responsible for taking the lives of the people she loved. We even wondered if Jennifer considered her sister somehow responsible for it. Then we pondered how we would respond if placed in that same situation. Both of us have younger sisters and we thought, if something like this happened in our family, would we blame them?

Well, leave it to Oprah to ask the questions we both wanted to know. In her interview with Jennifer Hudson, which aired on OWN this past Sunday, Oprah had a chance to speak with both Hudson sisters about the tragedy and their initial and present feelings towards each other because of it. I’ll include the full interview  below so you can watch for yourself; but essentially when Oprah asked Jennifer if she was ever mad at her sister, she said if she was ever mad, it was only for a brief period of time, because she doesn’t remember it. Julia, on the other hand, expected her sister to hate her. She revealed that Jennifer told Julia not to marry William, offering her a trip around the world, if she would leave him alone. If you’ve ever tried to stop someone in love from getting married, you know how challenging it can be. Julia married him anyway. When things went sour, she left and William would often threaten both she and her family. She never took him seriously, until it was too late.

Though Jennifer could have blamed her sister for the deaths of their family members, when her sister asked her if she hated her, she responded by saying she couldn’t hate her because she loved her. Instead of choosing to push away the family she had left, the two decided to cling to each other. And I’m sure it’s helped in the healing process they’re both still undergoing.

When something so tragic happens, even if it doesn’t happen to us personally, it’s human nature to try and figure out what exactly went wrong, how could we have changed it. Who’s to blame? But most of the time, it’s an exercise in futility. Tragedies remind us that no matter who we are or what we’ve achieved, there are just some things that are out of our control. What is in our control is the way we respond to it. Whether we choose to hang on to feelings of resentment and hatred or love and healing is completely up to us. I’m glad to hear that Jennifer and her sister were able to choose the latter.

Watch the full interview below


Oprah’s Next Chapter | Jennifer Hudson (FULL… by Ashley_Miller_3

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  • Mari

    Whooooooo, the tears that I just shed. You always see Jennifer being so strong in the public eye, but when that happened you just knew that she was in pain .. and seeing this just broke my heart. I couldn’t imagine. They are so very strong.

  • FromUR2UB

    Her sister couldn’t find anything better than that to wear on TV? Do people have to go everywhere dressed for a picnic?

    • Chanda

      i know and with her being that big is bad enough. i’m sure her sister could’ve found something better in her size.

  • Chanda

    This is what happens when you chase after thug dyck. Julia knows she didn’t marry a choir boy who just snapped. I’m glad that at least this tragedy brought the sisters even closer but she learned the hard way you can’t just marry anyone into the family and have had a child, too.

    • Cinnamon71

      I agree that people need to examine people more closely that they do. We need to focus on inside more than we do on the outside. When people look for a mate they need to look for someone with morals, character, empathy, goodwill, respectful, fidelity, etc. Sometimes, you have to judge a book by its cover. As hard as it can be at times, your family and friends most of the time have your back and can see more than you can because you get “caught up” and blinded by love. I also hope that they can move forward and get past this tragedy.

      • NSimonefan

        People need to realize that when you marry someone, that person will effect your family dynamic. In this case, the effect on this family was ugly and tragic.

        • MLS2698

          And this is the perfect example of how others are affected. Julia played a huge part in the outcome.

  • Ms_Mara

    Whether or not Jennifer blames her, Julia must be carrying around some tremendous guilt. I know I would. Jennifer is a great sister for not saying “I told you so” and holding a grudge. But if anyone knows that life is short, it’s obviously these two. I hope they continue to find the strength to move forward.

  • Wow.

    Its absolutely INCREDIBLE how many advertisements and obnoxious videos MN has on every page of its website. Absolutely incredible.

    • Kenedy

      Normally i come on this website via my phone’s browser……but the pop ups are so overwhelming sometimes, it can’t even load the articles or the comments

  • b

    god be with jen

  • hollyw

    I’m sorry…but I could have SWORN! that Jennifer’s sister had been killed, as well. I don’t know now how I got that impression, but I def know that this article def caught me by surprise…

    • TRUTH IS

      They are both lyong…Jenn knew whats going on…why not move your fam out of a dangerous place….you wait til they die to move out…fraud just like 9/11 is an inside job and the govt act like its terrorism…wake the eff up folks

      • DeepThinker

        She did offer her mother the option to move with her. Her mom refused. Jennifer’s siblings were making poor life choices, a better neighborhood might not have made much difference for those two. If they still choose to deal with thugs and run drugs. They could do that anywhere. Plus this was a domestic incident not a result of random violence.

        • TRUTH IS

          Thats what they want you to beLIEve!!

          • sexcgenius

            Who is they?

            • TRUTH IS

              Go and research who are “they” It’s us and them. SMH

              • sexcgenius

                Go to your kitchen, find a huge knife and kill yourself in the name of your God of entertainment lol. If it’s us and them there can be no they you idiot. It’s “we”. Learn your pronounds and basic grammar. I wont waste another word on you.

                • TRUTH IS

                  Ok grammar police….funny you come to grammar check on a blog….lower tier mental midget I see. I certainly want to kill myself after learning the world is full of mindless folks like you

                  • sexcgenius

                    A handful of valium, a super sized redbull and vodka is exactly what you need.

                    • TRUTH IS

                      Like you have been researching how to off yourself, poor thang…..i had no clue about that kinda stuff because I love life…its a learning/enlightening experience….

                    • sexcgenius

                      Most people with a high school education know that those things combined are harmful to one’s health; yet, you have to research their potential harm. The more you talk the more it is clear how deep your stupidity runs.

                    • TRUTH IS

                      I chose not to remember the harmful substances combined in high school…life was too good there…..only the positive things I retained..You win….ya happy now *ordering a trophy for nonsexcdunce*

  • http://twitter.com/FiestySweetie85 Ria Ricks

    Forgiveness is one of the most important factors in healing so I can’t believe that some people think that Jennifer should cast the blame on her sister. Everyone has dealt with a person that our family our friends did not like. The bad decisions of that person should not be blamed on her. Even if she had gotten out of the relationship he still could’ve done something crazy. She didn’t tell him to act a fool. I pray for Julia to forgive him and herself so that she can move on.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/SG5QWRJ76HX7CUQZONIGTKARPI slp2011

    How could Julia stay with a man who threatened to kill her family? Did she think he was just playing? I would have taken my fam and run for the hills, and sought legal action. Whether or not he seemed serious, you don’t mess with family.

    • A

      Its the human experience…….we always doubt our intuition…..she ignored it because she would have had to do something about it and it would have been hard for to protect her whole family. God bless them…….

    • DeepThinker

      Sometimes people do not want to believe the worst about someone they are/were close to. It’s hard to admit your own flaw in judgement. I think it is so beautiful that Jennifer’s heart is still open to her sister and they are still close. She is such an amazing person. God bless them.

    • Papillon

      Julia has never seemed quite right to me. Something has always felt “off” about her, imo. I didn’t watch all the video, but did they mention Julia’s other child? I could’ve sworn I heard she was pregnant a few months after Jen had her baby, but I never heard anything else after that.

      • sexcgenius

        Do you know her personally? When you say she has never seemed quite right, it sounds like you perhaps grew up in the same house or even neighborhood for that matter lol

  • Cat88L3

    Bless, Jennifer…I don’t think I could have that much forgiveness. I think I would always blame Julia. I’m happy that Jennifer is in a better place.

    • MLS2698

      She is most definitely the blame. But in order to heal, they must come together. And if possible, Jen should have moved her family elsewhere after gaining fame.

      • sexcgenius

        The person who pulled the triggger is the blame. I pray tragedy doesn’t have to strike you for you to mature and become wiser.

        • MLS2698

          I hope that people can make better choices by praying first, instead of taking up with just any person for the sake of marriage. Jen was aware, and her sister needed to heed the warning. I know someone who’s friend asked her not to marry her child’s father, but instead of listening, she became angry and broke the friendship ( claimed the other girlfriend was salty). Five years later, she was looking like a fool with no money, and a man who treated her like crap for the whole married; she kept if quiet for years. Again, prayer comes first.

          • sexcgenius

            You should tell that to the women Craig Davis in ATL infected with HIV including his wife.

            • http://twitter.com/Nerdstradamas Kendra

              Dang! You went there! Wow…. But I see why. I do get a bit annoyed when serious issues (mental health, crime, sexual health, etc.) are addressed simply with a “Come to Jesus” moment. I understand the intent, but blacks are one of the most religious ethnic groups in this nation. Despite this, we still manage to struggle in certain areas. Religion, and even prayer, can’t be a crutch. There should be a balance between religion (or spirituality) and an intellectual process of some sort.

            • MLS2698

              When you are unsure of a situation, or have doubts, don’t do anything. Listen, be quiet, and think it through; even if it takes more time than originally expected to come to a conclusion. ALL women can use this method.

      • Sheena

        you sound ridiculous! She is not to blame at all, even parents aren’t to blame when their child flips and goes and shoots up a school so why would feel she is to blame for the actions of her boyfriend? Personally I think its strange that right before people are boosted to international stardom some people close to them mysteriously dies or gets killed.

        • TRUTH IS

          Its called human sacrifice…even the Bible spoke about folks selling their soul for fortune….the bible didnt just talk about that for nothing

          • sexcgenius

            Bless your stupid heart.

            • TRUTH IS

              You are too blinded by the media….like sheep to the slaughter house….open your third eye….I pray God opens it because u are never going to be enlightened…..let those who have eyes to see let them see. This isnt about physicial sight….God bless you sheep!!

              • sexcgenius

                In your attempt to be deep, you sound even more stupid. You want us to believe that Jennifer Hudson arranged or agreed to the murders of her brother, sister, and nephew in exchange for fame lol. Who approached her with this offer? What were the terms of the deal? Why couldn’t she at least get a number one or platinum album out of the deal? Without any proof you make ridiculous and hurtful comments in the name of God? You are disgusting. I do not know what God you serve Ms. Cyclops but he or she is too concerned with the entertainment industry and celebrities to deliver you from the evil of your own mind. Pray for yourself!!!!

                • TRUTH IS

                  She got a rotten deal, the same God you speak of hates ugly. You are a closed minded bat…there’s no need to reason with the unreasonable…trust me am more deep and spiritual than you are defending folks who only are concerned with materialistic things….do your own research the info is out there, dolt. Ask Jennifer and Kanye “who said he made a deal with the devil and it was a rotten one” (and fools like you think its just talks); whose mother also died under questionable circumstances, what they got in the rotten deal. Wake up out of your slumber!!!

                  • sexcgenius

                    So you are going to hold her accountable for something someone else said? How many know this fool is crazy. I would say that it is an oxymoron to say how spritual and deep you are in one breath then call someone a name in the next, but my bible says try the spirit by the spirit. I pegged you as a simple moron from jump lol. You proved it with your responses. For someone to be high and mighty spiritually, you know a lot about secular music lol.

                    • TRUTH IS

                      I said her like Kanye….he admitted…many wont…….I said I am spiritual, not perfect…..I do not live in a cave…..and I go out, watch tv and radio…so I hear their music, then force it down our throats.,…part of influencing the masses….gosh you give me a$$ache!! Again you cannot reason with the unreasonable!!! I guess I cant enlighten you, you will be awake and aware in your own time. Dueces!!

                    • TRUTH IS

                      *listen