Ridiculous: Why Does The Desire For A “Barack And Michelle Relationship” Result In A Black Twitter Gender War?

16 comments
September 6, 2012 ‐ By Alissa Henry
"Barack and Michelle"

Source: grantland.com

Tonight, Obama will take the stage at the Democratic National Convention to deliver his primetime speech. While some will be talking about his policies and others will be comparing his speech to Romney’s, Black Twitter will undoubtedly be erupting with the predictable “I want a Barack!” and “I want a Michelle!” tweets.

Back when the President was a relatively unknown Senator running for the highest office, he and Michelle’s loving and respectful relationship made headlines. Soon, the couple became the prototype for Black Love. Now, they are continually praised as an example of true love in a country where positive Black marriages are not displayed often enough. Because they’re the First Family, there’s no hiding their relationship and, because they’re obviously really into each other, there’s no hiding their love.

While most choose to simply admire the First Couple’s relationship, others choose to hijack it and use it as a weapon against members of the opposite sex. Before Mrs. Obama finished her speech on Tuesday night, positivity was all but completely drowned out by the Battle of the Sexes that raged via Twitter. Social media pundits reported that mentions of the first lady peaked at 28,003 tweets per minute. At least half of those tweets probably had nothing to do with her speech at all but was Black Twitter going back and forth about wanting a “Michelle and Barack relationship”.

It starts off innocent enough:

"I Want a Michelle"

Source: Twitter.com

"I Want a Barack Tweet"

Source: Twitter.com

"I Want a Michelle tweet"

Source: Twitter.com

Then someone takes it there:

"I Want a Michelle tweet"

Source: Twitter.com

With that, all Twhell (Twitter Hell) breaks loose and here are just a few of the gems:

"I Want a Michelle tweet"

Source: Twitter.com

"I Want a Michelle tweet"

Source: Twitter.com

"I Want a Barack tweet"

Source: Twitter.com

"I Want a Barack tweet"

Source: Twitter.com

"I Want a Michelle tweet"

Source: Twitter.com

"I Want a Michelle tweet"

Source: Twitter.com

"I Want a Michelle"

Source: Twitter.com

"I want a Michelle"

Source: Twitter.com

While some of these tweets are pure comedy, it kind of makes me sad the way we take a positive situation and use it to negatively attack each other. Michelle Obama didn’t speak Tuesday for men to hate every women they know personally.  The example President Obama is setting should inspire not cause every woman to tear down the men she knows who she doesn’t believe are on his level. Taking to Twitter to disrespect other people is a pretty ironic way to exemplify one’s desire to have a respectful relationship.

Besides, is there really anyone who inherently doesn’t “deserve” a good relationship? Are there people who aren’t good enough to want a good marriage? Even a past philanderer like former President Bill Clinton (with an admirable wife of his own) admired President Obama’s wife. So, why can’t we just be glad that the young Black community still recognizes true love without having to point out reasons why some are hypocritical for desiring it?

Honestly, I don’t think people want that relationship in particular anyway. That First Lady life is tougher than Michelle Obama makes it look with all the hate (and even death threats!) thrown in their direction. That couple has been through a lot over the years, probably more than they’d wish on their worst enemy.

I’m sure that when most people say they want a “Michelle” or a “Barack” they’re just expressing interest in having someone who they can love, respect and support who also loves, respects and supports them — and looks great doing it — no matter what careers or dreams they’re pursuing. What’s wrong with that? It’s important to have positive relationships to look up to and aspire toward in a world of 41-day marriages and “is you gon’ marry a n*gga” marriage proposals. The Obamas certainly don’t have the successful relationship thing on lock, but theirs is one of the most visible marriages in the country and I think it’s pretty cool that so many say they want to have a relationship like that.

Though the Battle of the Sexes is certain to rage on tonight during President Obama’s speech punctuated with hilarity and biting sarcasm, I hope that in real life people aren’t discouraged from their desire for true love and that they’ll continue to hope the best for themselves and for others.

What do you think? Did you notice all the “Barack/Michelle” relationship tweets?

Follow Alissa on Twitter @AlissaInPink or check out her blog This Cannot Be My Life

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  • Kells

    Thats the ready made way of thinking.. No one wants to build anymore they want express relationships, money, and everything else they can get right away. Relationships are built. I am sure the reason Obama looks at Michelle they way he does is because of the journey they had getting to where they are. Thats why most marraiges fail because no one wants to put in the work for better or worst, until death do you part…

  • Jazzy

    I agree with most of the comments. I still on the comment about “a Michelle who is also a big booty h*e”. Lol. I do think it is a bit scary to see the obsession most blacks have with Barack and Michelle (a couple we barely know). Black folks speak of the President’s marriage as if they are the white walls in the couple’s bedroom. Women speak of Barack like he is paying car notes, mortgage loans, and private school tuition for them. It is interesting how we take so much stake in people we barely know and dismiss working on understanding ourselves and appreciating our life and everything in it. Barack is, perhaps, an amazing person for the woman he married but that doesn’t make him a representative for positive relationships and marriages (there’s no such thing). It is your choice to select the type of life you live– no need to look elsewhere. Michelle is the woman she is because of her choices (it wasn’t magical).

  • Jazzy

    I agree with most of the comments. I still on the comment about “a Michelle who is also a big booty h*e”. Lol. I do think it is a bit scary to see the obsession most blacks have with Barack and Michelle (a couple we barely know). Black folks speak of the President’s marriage as if they are the white walls in the couple’s bedroom. Women speak of Barack like he is paying car notes, mortgage loans, and private school tuition for them. It is interesting how we take so much stake in people we barely know and dismiss working on understanding ourselves and appreciating our life and everything in it. Barack is, perhaps, an amazing person for the woman he married but that doesn’t make him a representative for positive relationships and marriages (there’s no such thing). It is your choice to select the type of life you live– no need to look elsewhere. Michelle is the woman she is because of her choices (it wasn’t magical).

    • Kells

      I so agree with you.. When I listen to some radio stations and how they praise them I am like whoa. It is scary. They are people who are a great example but they are people and what people don’t realize is that they can build there own relationship to be strong and powerful like the Obamas.. People are sooooo lost.

  • TeahMonae

    I agree totally with @1micmcna1′s brilliant comment. I love the Obamas and have read a couple of books about their marriage and relationship. People look at the Obamas like they got that way overnight. They have been married for 20 years and have had ups and downs like every other couple. Some people would be surprised to know that initially, Michelle was against him running for office and at one point when he took a lesser paying job to work in the community, versus a high powered executive job, she was pissed because they had bills and another baby on the way! She even considered leaving him. So, 1micmcna1, you hit the nail on the head. This couple has put in hard work and sacrifice to get to this point and have had to overcome obstacles along the way. They have had disagreements, challenges, hills and valleys. The bottom line is that they love each other unconditionally and work together to make their dreams come true. In times of discourse in my own marriage, I am often reminded that we are working towards the finish line and our journey together is a marathon and not a sprint. Our dream is to one day retire on a beach somewhere and in order to get there we have to put in the work, even when we don’t always agree, understand, or like each other’s decisions or actions. Instead of people looking for a “Barack” or a “Michelle”, they should be looking at how this couple has stayed committed to each other and worked together to achieve greatness. They did not give up and run to divorce court when times got hard. In this day and age of “fast food drive-thru” marriages, they are truly an inspiration.

  • colliz

    It’s really not that deep. Sounds like comedy to me. Mean yes but funny at the same time. Laugh a little, geezzz!!

  • http://twitter.com/joy2MiKASworld Mika ✌❤ ☺

    I’m dead! “what them kitchen skills looking like”… Sorry, but these were pure comedy.

  • Kayo

    This is the same thing that happened when Beyonce announced her ‘pregnancy’. Guys were hollering about her being the example of the proper way to do things. Those were probably the same guys who were never married to the mother of their children and/or take special interest in practicing double standards and gender stereotypes.

  • Soulsis

    “it kind of makes me sad the way we take a positive situation and use it to negatively attack each other,” BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, lighten up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 1micmcna1

    I think the whole problem with this and the reason why people give such negative feedback is because no one wants to or even knows how to put in the work to have a relationship like that. See, the biggest problem that I’ve seen in many of my patients and in most relationships is that everyone wants an already built man or woman. So when people (especially young ones) say that they want a Barack or Michelle, they don’t realize the amount of work behind the two of them as indiviuduals and as a couple. To say that you want half of a couple (as opposed to the love that the couple has) is doing two things: one (and this is something that I’ve found that women do moreso than men) it furthers the myth that there is a perfect mate out there that you can plug into a relationship with you and it will work as opposed to there being a world of flawed individuals who sometimes don’t know where they’re going, or what they want to do, or who they even are but still need love. And two, it puts the focus not on the relationship but the individual. In other words, it allows people to believe that there needs not be any change or self-improvement in order to get someone to roll with you. And that the only relationships worth having are those where you’re both on the same level, when the truth is that the only relationship worth having is when you both love each other equally. That is the real equality and the real 50/50 split that needs to be accomplished in a relationship.

    • http://twitter.com/futuresatellite Z

      Amazing comment.

      Are you a psychologist?

  • NIC.ED

    the tweets had me in TEARS!!! i thought they were FAH — i didnt take it as being turned n2 something negative — 4instance, no one wants a to wife a girl who only tweets so called “sexie” pix and her poppin pills or a male that wants a “big booty hoe” the epitomizes Michelle — smh but i dont think it was a black men/women hate eachother – truth is the truth and like homegirl up top said “if you’re a Barack, you will get a Michelle – if ur a Joseline, you’ll get a Steebi J” lmao

    • Miss Anonymous

      lol I dont know I have seen some rick ross’s *spelling/grammer?* Get a baby Michelle or a Blac Chyna get a baby Barack. . . .

      ps I died at “big booty hoe” and “Michelle” being in the same sentence. Two words that dont belong in the same paragraph together.

  • Yokessm

    Lmao@ extra on souljah boy video, black women are angry at black men, and vice versa . You need to have a public forum or something to express those issues. In the meanwhile this is some funny stuff.

  • Ms_Sunshine9898

    It’s great that these two are a shiny example of both black love and picture of a loving happily married couple. What’s also sad is the number people who still don’t believe that love and happiness are possible in a marriage because they still believe it’s just a fantasy. . . . On a side note those twitter jokes are kinda funny and mean lol. . .

    • JumpinJackFlash

      This was a beautiful response. People who don’t believe in that type of love and dedication are the ones who don’t believe that they deserve it.

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