Guess What? Marriage and Kids Isn’t For Everyone

September 5th, 2012 - By rjohnson
not for everyone

Source: blackyouthproject.com

From Black Voices

At a dinner party with some “friends” a few years ago, there was a longer than necessary conversation about “what’s wrong with Eleanore” (me) because I’m not married and I have no kids. I’m a spinster. A pretty amazing one, but a spinster, nonetheless. An active participant in the conversation was a woman who had just gone through her third divorce. Apparently I was the only one in the room who thought the conversation should really have been about “what’s wrong with Sharon?” I’m thinking to myself, “Why does this woman keep getting married?”

I am fascinated by this notion that marriage is still thought of as a must-do in modern-day society. It’s not. At least it shouldn’t be. Same thing with children. There’s no reason why every adult should procreate and I know that we can all think of an example or two as to why this is true.

Read more at  Black Voices

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  • http://www.sistavoyage.com/ ChakaKhanian

    People need to stop making women feel that they are ‘accomplished’ when they get married and have children. Being on God’s green earth is an accomplishment enough. Besides, no one makes the men feel as though there’s something wrong with them if they aren’t married or have children. We are not in the 1940′s, people.

  • Kia

    Great article…I’m in nursing school and when I’m done I want to travel. I feel like there is no need to rush down the aisle or have a child now.

  • http://twitter.com/ImmaDimeDivas Shana Jordan

    Guess what? College isn’t for everyone also.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JAI4SRENU2A5WKRTELXXYJPDSI Kayla

    This is what I’ve been trying to say for the longest. And why do some people say it’s selfish of a woman who doesn’t want to have kids? like she’s just a baby making factory.

    • http://www.facebook.com/jason.f.vorhees Jason Fangz Vorhees

      I got called selfish also when i had my vasectomy. Its funny because if i had kids and didnt take care of them i get called a deadbeat but because i make sure to never have kids im selfish?

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JAI4SRENU2A5WKRTELXXYJPDSI Kayla

        exactly. I’d rather be “selfish” before having kids then after.

    • Kayo

      We live in a world where being a mother is deemed as the ultimate goal for a woman. When a woman does not fit into the gender role someone tries to push onto her, then she is called selfish.

    • redfingerpaint

      I fight this argument too often. Why should a child be brought into this world if he isn’t wanted?

  • http://www.facebook.com/doll.kennedy Doll Kennedy

    Amen

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/NFXKPLNVHM3DYPKEEVNQITWVX4 Lena

    If you don’t want kids, by all means DO NOT have any. If you don’t want
    to get married, by all means DO NOT get married.I am beautiful woman and I
    love good man…..inter racial romance is my dream… so I joined —blackwhitеPlanet.С0M—–it’s where to- connect with beautiful and excellent
    people! I also think that you
    should also let the other person know whether or not you want to get
    married or have kids because for a lot of people that’s a deal breaker.

  • lajoya

    Great article while I enjoy being married the thought of having kids is nauseating. However being honest if he dies or we ever divorce I will not be getting married again.

  • redfingerpaint

    People will do whatever they want. If you don’t want kids, by all means DO NOT have any. If you don’t want to get married, by all means DO NOT get married. I also think that you should also let the other person know whether or not you want to get married or have kids because for a lot of people that’s a deal breaker.

    • WHOISBSQUARED?

      DEALBREAKER FOR ME…….I PREFER A GUY WITH NO KIDS CUZ I DONT WANT KIDS N PLEASE BELIEVE IM NOT DOING ANY COHABITING TO LET THAT ISH HAPPEN……..LOL

  • proudfuturewifeandmommy

    To each his own. You do whatever floats your boat. As for me I have a bachelors degree, 2 masters and going back for a MD degree and looking forward to finding my African King, my partner and raising 4 children. Marriage to a good black man and raising a family of 4 is definitely in my card. I’m a nurturer. I’m so looking forward the blessings of motherhood, i absolutely love children.

    • redfingerpaint

      Good for you! Good luck with that MD degree, it’s hard work but it’s definitely worth it.

  • Pivyque

    So true! People will always have their own views. If they don’t want marriage and kids, they shouldn’t be nagged about it.