Love On Your Terms: Are Your Expectations Too High?

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Do You Say “If You Loved Me, You’d…”?

Most times, we use this statement to gain control of our partner sending the message that your idea of love and commitment is right, while theirs is wrong. So we say to him, “If you loved me, you’d marry me today” or “If you loved me, you’d send me roses on Valentine’s Day.” Most men show love in ways that women don’t deem as romantic, like taking our cars to get detailed. Instead, we want him to get his cues from something we saw in a movie once. Maybe he does loves you, but he just doesn’t show you in ways that make you feel all tingly inside. That doesn’t mean he loves you any less. He may feel that if you loved HIM, you’d accept that he sometimes forgets to make dinner reservations for the anniversary of the first time you said “I love you” or that he thought you’d enjoy the new set of tires he put on your ride. If you can’t accept your mate’s version of love, then set him free to be with a person who appreciates a man who shows her that he appreciates her in his own way. If you’re not compatible, that’s fine…but realize that just because he doesn’t love you on your terms doesn’t mean that he doesn’t truly love you.

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