Signs He Will NEVER Be Into You

September 2nd, 2012 - By Julia Austin
"Couple in bed"

bossip.com

He says he’s “not a cuddler”

Anybody’s a cuddler when they truly like someone. It’s a part of how the human body functions. All those feel good chemicals that surge up when we’re around someone we truly like compel us to want to physically connect. If a guy says he’s not a cuddler he’s either A) Not into you or B) Selfish, and actually not a cuddler but too self absorbed to think, “Hm. Maybe it would make her happy if I cuddled her.”

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  • DeepThinker

    Expects you to wait up for him to come through after he has a night out on the town.

  • - N

    I’m in high school and only one applies to me and that’s cuddling he says he doesn’t like it but he does it anyway cause its what I like doing but everything else is equal we make plans for each other and when he says if you want to all I have to ask is do you want me too if not I’m not doing it and he says yes or he smiles at me and says do what you want to do and hugs me or he acts like he’s being tough and say “I mean its what you want to do” and asks me the same question over and over . I plan what we do(he does too) and we go out but I don’t like being in public with doing things but we still hang out with close friends an each others we actually have a great relationship but when he mad at me(like right now) he says how he doesn’t care and that I mean nothing then comes back and tries to fix things every time but I don’t know if its to hurt me (only thing that does is saying that) or if he really means it,, he does a lot for me, he wants me to be happy, he try to protect me, he get mad if a guy touch me that isn’t him, he shows up when I ask him too unless he at work, he lights up and smiles at me if we consider any touching or anything, I don’t let people know bout me and him, but every girl that likes him don’t like him to talk or look at me, if he even smile at me they all get mad even when me and him don’t talk for awhile they always worry, we’ve been something for more than 3 years and we just decide on having sex[he took my virginity] im all confused cause he does all this and said it meant nothing but two weekends ago he was trying to come see me at his cousins house.. so idk what to believe:( help if can..

  • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

    All of your explanations lead to either, he’s inconsiderate, or the girl is not a priority in his life. Either explanations are enough for a woman with options to chuck up those deuces.

    • http://www.facebook.com/cromsworld Paul Joseph Athmer

      Look, are there guys out there who are perfect? Yes. Are they common? No. If you want to find prince charming, be my guest but the competition is gonna be very high. If your looking for a guy who never fails any of these tests, then your never gonna date anyone. Most of these I listed are not about the guy being inconsiderate. They are about misinterpreting the situation and accusing him of being inconsiderate or something else when he is not. If you believe this list is perfectly accurate and you live your life by it then your either gonna be VERY lucky that you find a guy who never does anything that may be misinterpreted by you (yea right), OR you are going to live a very lonely life because of completely delusional expectations. Here is an eye opener for you: NO man wants to date a woman who is constantly accusing him of untrue things because she is so paranoid that she misinterprets every little thing he does! I guarantee that behavior would be on a top 10 list of things that will send every guy running. That is why I said this list is going to create problems in relationships that don’t have problems. It is self fulfilling by teaching women to behave in a way that ends up scaring good guys off. Get a clue.

      • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

        I’m married and happily so, no need to predict doom and gloom for my
        love life. To say oh you all just want “prince charming” and a perfect man is a major cop-out. If you read that list again (except for the last one about a rough kiss?) and you think anyone of those things requires a man to be perfect then let me advise you that any halfway decent woman with options will not long be in your company. Those are basic tenets to a healthy balanced relationship. Listen if a woman feels that he isn’t into her it doesn’t
        matter if he is “just being misinterpreted” SHE feels that she isn’t a
        priority in his life. And if he cares for her he wouldn’t want her to feel that way. So that leaves her with two options: Let him
        know and see if he changes, or to bounce. MORE women ought to avail
        themselves of the second option.

        If a woman is seriously dating a man
        who displays 5 or more of the items listed above on a regular basis
        she’s a fool to stay. He could have perfectly good reasons EVERY TIME
        he doesn’t bother to respond to her texts or very reasonable excuses for
        why he doesn’t ever want her to interact with his friends and family.
        Sure not cuddling could just not be his thang but if he’s displaying all of the above on a consistent basis, it leads one to believe that he’s either a thoughtless clod who doesn’t think past his own feelings/desire OR that he isn’t into her. Either scenario like I said before is a reason for a woman to chuck the deuces.

        • http://www.facebook.com/cromsworld Paul Joseph Athmer

          Perhaps we are closer to being on the same page after all. I agree with your statements about a guy who displays a lot of these indicators consistently. My main point was to crush the idea that any one of these by itself is a reason to believe that a guy is no good. Once many signs pile up consistently, then it is probably not a coincidence or a misinterpretation. I still think that having “Not a planner”, “Not a good listener”, and especially “Cares about dumb things” on the list are major mistakes and should not be counted ever. “Not a planner” is a personality type that describes half the population including women. “Not a good listener” describes 99% of men. There is a reason why it is joked about so much. And “Cares about dumb things” is just a blatant misinterpretation of GOOD intentions by a guy who IS into you. So why would you dump that guy? But I still completely agree with the toothbrush one. The thoughts that you will never see or hear from an interested guy who is asked about keeping a toothbrush over is “What the hell do I care about a stupid toothbrush, sure.” Then he just says “sure”.

          The fact that many of these on the list can be called into question so easily makes me doubt the competence of the author on this subject, and therefore shakes my confidence in the rest of the list. Because of my doubt in the confidence of the author, I doubt that this article has overall done more good than harm. It strikes me as more of a personal opinion by someone recently hurt in a relationship than based on any real research. I would not be surprised if the author just described her last relationship while leaving out many important facts. If that turned out to be true, then this would be very biased and untrustworthy source for relationship advice. But that is just my hypothetical opinion.

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  • MoonBurn

    DON’T SLEEP WITH THAT GUY!!! That’s the *default* to go to. The reasons not to, that the authors and Commenters list here are just the tip of the iceberg. The majority and soundest of reasons are out of your “normal” vision!

  • alyssa

    Wow … 12 years of my life summarized in 14 slides. I realize all my bad decisions are my fault but how have I not seen this page earlier? Thank you for saving me more wasted years and lessons learned!

  • http://twitter.com/K_tenKS Kristen

    Many things on here hit me like a brick regarding some guys I’ve dated in the past. One being “He doesn’t want to meet your friends”. Means he doesn’t plan on sticking around so why bother meeting people he has no intention on seeing again? What could be added is not being able to take him anywhere. If he fights you on going to different places it means he doesn’t want to be seen with you or doesn’t want to spend time with you or want to experience new things with you. Also, (sorry) if he always wants to “hang out” and never go on actual dates. If he invites you over to hang out at his place and never take you out for dinner (I mean, we can go Dutch!) that’ll eventually just lead to sex and not really wanting to get to know you.

  • mr_world

    My phone and computer is none of your business. The same goes as your purse, phone or computer is not my business. This woman is a damn idiot.

  • Zuke

    Ok, go with all this stuff. Hopefully it will help to throw up a red flag and save any poor fellow who manages to happen across a woman who would believe this. I swear, every time I see a list of things meant to indicate to women signs that a guy is not into them/cheating on them, it always seems to just be peppered with calls for unwarranted frenzied paranoia. Don’t get me wrong, there are some here that are true and should be obvious to most anyone, but some of em’ are nothing but fearmongering and I ask that readers take as a grain of salt, on behalf of males everywhere. I’d elaborate, but it’s late and I doubt there’s any point.

  • Young and Tired

    What I don’t understand is I can and have any and everything I want. My motto is what a man has don’t make it mine, but why the hell do I keep running into the same type. My now boyfriend is dumb as hell I’m starting to feel the same damn way. I hate men right now. I do everything a woman is suppose to, it’s been nine months, we can’t move in because he don’t wanna co parent, my kids have a father, be there for me. Just game I’m so tired of the game.

  • http://www.facebook.com/janey.doey.3551 Janey Doey

    I think it’s time to reevaluate my boyfriend; he’s 10/15 on this list.

  • Jehsea

    Ladies, it is easy to save your own heart. Never ask a Man to show you who he is twice. That is to say, when you see him raising the red flag(s), he is *telling you*, “This is the kind of man I am.” That’s the time to shed him and do not turn back, ever. Again: Never ask a man to show you who he is twice.

  • hlone

    He doesn’t make sure u get home safe after u visit with him

  • Adam J. Doe

    Everything else is fine, but no, she’s not going to just get anytime
    access to my computer and phone; it’s MINE and hers is hers. We can
    share a little but if she’s sane she won’t immediately jump to the
    conclusion that it must mean the only logical option is that I’m
    cheating on her just because I don’t want someone monitoring my
    communications, sorry. Should I assume she’s cheating on me if she
    doesn’t let me know of all her calls and computer usage?

    ” Also, he wants to know what his friends and family think about you! ” I
    feel like this is more of a girl thing. Yadda Yadda said what I’m about to say short and sweet. I might be mildly curious of
    others views, but probably not enough to decide how much I like her just
    based off that. One of the only reasons I’d introduce a gf to
    family/friends is JUST SO they know they might have to deal with this
    person awhile because that’s the one I AM dating because, at least for
    then, I LIKE her, and it’s not to do with them. On the reverse, I
    am dating HER, not her friends or her mom. I’m not interested in
    whatever murmurings, gossip or rumors they might say about me behind
    their back and am really not interested in someone who needs approval
    from others of if I’m ‘good enough’; like ‘omg is this guy a good enough
    accessory next to me? Do you girls approve of my bf?’ This is something
    girls do to screw up relationships – bring the family and the
    girlfriends into the relationship. Soon the foolish female will listen
    to all the jibber-jabber of people who aren’t even in the relation,
    don’t see everything that goes on but apparently think they know it all.
    Then the girl gets insecure, brings their peoples’ negativity into the
    relationship and proceeds to thoroughly ruin said relationship and
    wonder ‘gosh, why is there always so much drama in my life?’ while she
    is single again surrounded by the people who she decided get to think for her. It’s insulting, really when a girl starts listening to her friend or family member who doesn’t like the guy (sometime’s they’re right to) and trusts their accusations, not just over whatever judgment or lack thereof of her own, but also over the guy himself; and he’s at the bottom of the totem pole of trust and communication IN HIS OWN RELATIONSHIP because this girl decided her circle is a participating part of the relationship, too, and of higher trust ranking! Consider it also from his side if he did this and some of his friends, family or mother (bun-bum-BUM) says “oh goodness, she’s terrible!/dumb!/a tramp!/ugly! She’s not good enough for you” You’re gonna have a bad time! Ooh and what if he runs off with one of the friends instead lol

    Sorry it’s so long, but it’s true. One more thing: Guys often are scared to show their emotional, caring side for fear girls won’t respect it or that it’s not “manly”, even after having entered the relationship.So like Aaliyah’s “Try again”, just because he’s shy at first doesn’t necessarily mean the feelings aren’t there at all – not that I’m saying just let him be cold forever for whatever reason he may do that. Some you can get out of their shell, some won’t change..

    • http://twitter.com/K_tenKS Kristen

      I agree with you on the phone/computer thing. I don’t let friends or family see what I’m doing on either device cause it’s simply none of their business. And I don’t care what they do on their phones/computers. Not that I have anything to hide, you just don’t need to know who I’m talking to or what I’m doing. But if anyone is ever suspicious and they ask, I can simply show them.

  • OlayinkaFab

    These are pretty accuarate. And beware of the one who ALWAYS disappears on the weekend and holidays. A lot of men play games doing the week acting single, particulary if they work with their prey. The weekends and holidays are family time so if you are excluded, you already know what it is.

  • sincerely a man

    this is a really presumptuous article. without proper context, none of these “signs” are a “sure thing”. they are just inference and do nothing more but complicate dating with too much imagination and/or too little communication. There might be ten other reasons that (almost) any of these things happening. my opinion is that this article feeds into the kind of emotions that make dating overly complicated. It feeds into fears, rather than rational thinking. articles like these are probably half the reason dating sucks when it does.

  • muzamil qaddous

    i forgot: uve never seen his place. He calls u late. Skips ur bd or any important dates or events. lies about the smallest things. He doesnt spend time or money on you. Dont care about ur feelings. He doesnt trust u. Hes always absent. U cannot invite him anywhere. U dont know where u two are going. He never wants to see you before 11pm or go anywhere. He only text and dont answer ur phone calls. He doesnt care if he doesnt hear from u for days or what happened to you or anyone close to you. He tells u he doesnt want to be with u!!! Just to name a few.

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