True Life: I Settled In Love

August 30, 2012  |  


Some of us still believe in true love, so we won’t accept anything less than the best when it comes to our romantic relationships. But others of us are either tired of waiting or no longer believe in true love. We asked our Facebook followers if they’ve ever settled in love and this is what they had to say.

Kirsten: I’ve considered it but God wouldn’t let me…and I’m so thankful for that!

Barbara: Yes, I have settled in love. I fell in love with someone that made less than I made. I was not really attracted to and we had different religious beliefs. Eventually, it ended after 5yrs because he looked at my money as his money and his money as his money. He also continually pressured me to adopt his religious beliefs and I had to get a divorce. It was like playing tug of war with him. We were undoubtedly unevenly yoked.

Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • Pivyque

    I did and I couldn’t be happier lol I didn’t choose the guy that I was crazy about. I chose the guy that was crazy about me. I could see it in his eyes how over the moon he was for me and that alone just made me want to give him the world. The reason I say that I settled is because usually when people think of being with someone for a long time, they choose based on love, affection and romance. I chose based on who I felt would be willing to go to hell and back with me and come out ready and willing to do it all again if need be. I was looking for a solid person that wouldn’t buckle under pressure. Love did come into play before we got married, but it certainly wasn’t the deciding factor.

  • Martin Cook

    I think now a days in these times we can’t really freely fall in love. Our environment tells us we should fall in love with a man with a large bank account, handsome, successful, on top of being romantic,spending all their free time with us blah blah. But now when look at the external of a person before we ever consider who they all. For example a man with dirty tennis shoes and dirty nails we turn away from, only becasue society says a desirable man/woman looks this way. We are also so celebrity obsessed that we want our spouses to achieve some unattainable look that Kim K, Nikki Minaj and so many other celebrities achieve though plastic surgery and camera tricks. Reading the majority of the ladies explanation on why the left it was due to the fact the their money was not what the woman thinks it should be. Men are the same thus why they are never happy with the woman they are with. They think she would be perfect if…

  • Negress

    Bis Jakes 80/20 rule comes to mind. You usually get ~80% of what you want with a warning that don’t leave the 80 for the 20%. The movie Why Did I Get Married? highlighted that too.

  • JustSayin

    I almost settled and I am starting to find myself “missing” that settled spouse. We were together for more than a year and I couldn’t get the “I love you” out… neither could he. It felt like we were best friends (and we are) who just had sex. I thought maybe I should reevaluate my expectations but then… once I did… I ended up with people I wasn’t compatible with. Settling is hard especially when you are lucky enough to feel that spark between someone. That undeniable craving to be with someone because that is your other half. So; in the end? I know true love exists but for now I choose to settle for… he loves me for who I am.

  • Realistic

    Yes, I am settling now. But I’m 50 yrs old & in my youth, I thought I had all the time in the world. I dumped good guys to simply move on to the next because I was young & beautiful. Now that i am older, the pickings aren’t as plentiful & I don’t meet men that I easily find chemistry with. So, as long as the man treats me nice, provides good companionship, I can deal. Before it was all about looks, finances & to be a certain way, now I make do with what is out here because I am tired of being single & I get the pleasure of company, and I don’t necessarily see where settling is so wrong.

  • Elle Royal

    Once I became aware of love I couldn’t settle. Love wouldn’t let me it made me get what I wanted and the way that I wanted it.

  • David

    I only look at it as settling if you know the situation isn’t going to benefit you in any real way . If sex is all you have going for you guys then it isn’t beneficial. So that is settling to me and I truly am trying to avoid that as one.

  • unchained

    ………..and us black women will always be single

  • 1micmcna1

    I hate the fact that people view settling only as something bad. I see this in my patients all the time. The thought they they are settling depresses them and tends to lead most people to want and constantly seek out matter is that we ALL technically settle. There is always someone just around the corner who has just a few more favorable characteristics. It’s not about being scared of settling or hating the term even. It’s more about finding someone who you think you can put up with for a longer time and possibly grow with. It’s really about comfort. There have been many couples who have “settled” they thought at the time but have been happily married for 20, 30, even 40+ years. It’s just about finding happiness yourself and together.


    Settling? That’s a tuffie. Everyone at some entertains the idea that they can get a better deal. At what point do we except the fact that we, the deal seekers, maybe bargains ourselves. No one is perfect, but not everyone predatory. I think the goal is find a happy medium between the two extremes.