Peep The Instability Early: How To Handle A Dating Stalker

September 5th, 2012 - By Julia Austin

At some point in your life, you’re going to come across a dating stalker. All it takes is some deep-rooted insecurity for a person to obsess over you, whether they do so in a complimentary way or a crazy, angry midnight texts kind of way. Stalkers are toxic and even the sanest person can get drawn into a stalker’s game because often they will provoke you into anger, or they’ll make you pity them, but that can end badly. So here’s how to deal:

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  • BlackNGreen

    I ignored the signs. He wanted everyone to feel sorry for him, everything was always someone else’s fault. Had to be in your face all day everyday, if you went out with a friend, he’d text you every 4 minutes. If you reply within the next 8 seconds, you’re cheating. Always crying, woe is me, nobody loves me. Because you’re damn annoying! Showing up at my school asking random students if they knew me, even teachers. Sitting outside my house, showing up at the stores where I shop, even tried to fight my 7 y/o nephew because he was in my room.

    • Elle Royal

      more like a cray cray

  • diggy.p

    This is an excellent read. More women need to read this and heed the signs. For myself, they came just a little too late. I started dating a guy and everything seemed wonderful. He would send me sweet text messages throughout the day. We talked for hours on end and spent a majority of time together. The first sign should have been when I sent just one message, he would send about five in response. Saying nice things, but I felt it a bit wierd he was so verbose. Then one day he got upset with me because I didn’t answer the phone and said I did it on purpose. He told me I needed to be available whenever he called. I didn’t think anything of this either, and that was probably my first mistake. We would sometimes have weekend rendezvous to different hotels since we both lived with our families. He became extremely angry because I couldn’t decide on a restaurant and he made my cry and grabbed my arm. That should have been the end, but I foolishly stayed. The last straw was after he physically assaulted me and knocked me out by punching me in the face. He tried to reconcile, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. And when I told him I couldn’t, he talked about my physical appearance and MY insecurities. I just didn’t respond. It wasn’t worth it. I am now talking to a wonderful man who is also of French descent from Martinique. It took me a while to get over that situation but I did. Just please DON’T ignore the warning signs!

    • NaturalJem

      wow it’s crazy that he did all that, but glad things worked out for you in the end

      • diggy.p

        Thanks! Everything happens for a reason! It’s definitely good to be extremely cautious in any situation. And if your intuition is telling you something, then it’s good to listen to it!